A Letter to My Younger Self
by Mermaid with Sea-Green Eyes (aka May Zaben)
To My Younger Self,
I imagine how broken you must feel, to see others laughing at you, to feel taunts lingering behind your back, to have the world crush your very soul. It hurts, I know. And what cuts deep the most, you are hurting yourself too, through self-shame, anger, bottling up your emotions. It’s all too much, isn’t it?
I know it’s difficult to comprehend. I know you may want to cower and hide, but you are so strong. The person you were endured so much, but she is so resilient. If I were before you now, I would repeat those words to you. You are absolutely, irrevocably strong. No one can take that away from you, and no one can hinder the music in your eyes. Please remember that, and know it gets better.
After 15, you will shine like an incredible light. You will perform on stage in front of many people, you will laugh so hard with friends, and soon, the insults that scarred you for life will disappear. The self-shame will disappear. Everything will crumble. It’s not without frankness to say things won’t be difficult no matter how old you get, but it is a way of life. Back then, you didn’t know this. You thought everything had to be perfect. But now, you are stronger, more determined, beautiful, and truly the most breathtaking person I know.
I write this with emotion because I never imagined I’d be able to say these words to you. My relationship with self-love has always been distorted. Yet, the difference between now and then, my love, is that I have grown. I know now what to do and what not to do. If I could turn back time and tell you this, I would. If I could go back and advise you somehow, I would. I know it is not possible, but I also know you are a part of me, and somewhere inside this pretty little heart of mine, you are listening. So, my love, I want to tell you that you are extremely bright, you are endearingly exquisite, and one day you will rule this earth with your smile. Keep telling yourself that no matter what. Keep dreaming and loving, and keep acting like the queen you are.
You are absolutely marvellous. I think this is what you needed to hear at the tender age of 15. Now, you are finally free from doubt and I hope you can find some peace. I want to let you go, and I sincerely wish you the best in everything.
Love, your older self,
May
Hi everyone, I hope you all enjoyed reading this letter. If you’d like to read more of my work, please feel free to follow me at Mermaid with Sea-Green Eyes. And if you’d like to learn more about me, feel free to read my ‘About Me’ story. Thanks for reading!
