About Me — Ellyen
It’s been a while since I joined Medium, but only now have I decided to write “About Me.”
So let’s see… every introduction usually starts with a name, right?
But here’s the thing, I used to hate my name. So much. It’s weird, and I don’t even know what it means. Naturally, I asked my parents, but they’ve never given me a straight answer. It’s like they didn’t know, or didn’t even think about, why they named me that. (Classic last-child treatment, right?)
In Bahasa Indonesia, Ellyen sounds like Alien, as in “a creature from outer space.” And boy, did I hate that. Introducing myself used to be a nightmare because people would always laugh when they heard my name for the first time.
I still remember, back in college, when one particularly “creative” lecturer asked us to introduce ourselves and explain the meaning of our names. Sounds simple, right? But for me, it was panic mode. I was embarrassed for no good reason — except maybe I was absolutely right to feel that way. When it was my turn, the lecturer laughed at my name (thanks a lot sir!) and asked what it meant. All I could do was say, “I don’t know,” and his face just… shifted. It wasn’t just a weird stare; it felt like pity.
I hated that moment, and I still replay it in my head more than I’d like to admit.
This wasn’t a one-time thing, either. People often ask me, chuckling, “What’s the meaning behind your name?” And I just freeze. Or mutter the same line: “I don’t know.”
Call me dramatic, but you face the same awkward question enough times, and it starts to build something inside you.
So, I made a vow: I’ll work hard until I don’t need to introduce myself. They’ll already know who I am.
That became my motto, my fuel. I’m not there yet, but I’m getting closer. And honestly? I’m proud of my progress. Hooray for me!
Here’s another thought: who decides what a name means anyway? If my name isn’t one of those that conveniently pops up in a baby name book or on Google, then I have the freedom to create its meaning, right? I have my whole life to make my name mean something, and that’s empowering. Hooray for me (again)!
Okay, phew. That’s a lot, and we’re only at my name. Thanks for bearing with me!
So… hey, I’m Ellyen! Nice to meet you! Is that proper enough?
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve loved reading. Bookstores and libraries were (and still are) magical places for me. I could spend hours in them, losing myself in fictional worlds that felt like a safe escape from real-life chaos.
As someone obsessed with books, I’ve always admired writers. They’re like heroes, creating worlds where people like me can find solace. I dreamed of being one of them, crafting safe spaces for others. Noble, right?
I started writing in junior high, sneaking onto my dad’s laptop to type out cheesy love poems in a private folder. (Sadly, those files are long gone. RIP, early cringe) From there, writing became part of my life.
Like any aspiring writer, I entered competitions. My “crowning achievement”? Winning second place in a fiction contest in high school. Not exactly groundbreaking, but hey, it’s something.
But I’m not going to lie, I’ve had plenty of self-loathing moments, questioning if I’m just meant to be a reader, not a writer. For a while, I settled for that. I kept writing, but only in my private journals.
Then, one lonely, overthinking-filled night, I wrote something in my journal and thought: Am I the only one who feels like this? What if someone else feels the same but doesn’t know what to do about it?
That night, I dared myself to post on Medium. My first-ever article went live. Here it is Overcoming Comparison and Celebrating Small Wins.
At first, no one read it (duh). But after a month, I got five views! (Shoutout to those five people, whoever you are.) I was estatic.
Encouraged, I kept writing. Slowly, more people started reading, clapping, and commenting on how they related to my words. And honestly, that feeling? Knowing someone out there gets it? It’s priceless.
So here I am, with a new dream, not to be the next J.K. Rowling, but to be the first Ellyen. A girl with a weird name who’s determined to give it meaning and dreaming that her life could become a guide for people who need it.
I write mostly about life — every love and loss, every question that bugs my head, every little thought that keeps me awake at night. And I hope that people who read my work feel a sense of relief, validation, or maybe even have a little fun!
And yeah that’s me! A reader, a writer, and a girl on a mission to make her name unforgettable.
