Member-only story
Confusion Based on Belief
Realizing I Don’t Understand Who I Am And It’s Scary
Trigger Warning: This article contains references and memories involving Violence, Sexual Abuse, and Child Abuse.
Reflection
As summer attempts to say goodbye with a nasty hurricane and heat waves dip ever so slightly, I’m reminded of my past and the trauma that helped shape the broken woman I am today.
I was a scared little girl who grew to be a terrified, on edge little woman. I’m a bit short. But I also have the church to thank for some of that. As I sit here typing on a Sunday morning in bed eating a croissant and juicy green grapes I wonder just how I got here.
From the woman who thanked God for saving her from her captors.
To a woman who knows she fought through blood, death, and fear to get herself out of captivity.
Now, I know I might lose some of you after this and for that, I am genuinely sorry.
I am in no way wanting to bash or degrade Christianity. But, after the loss of my son John Jr. or JD. I learned a lot about myself. Sure, this was not my first loss…On the contrary, I’ve lost a total of six children.
Five with my trafficker and one with the love of my life John. It’s funny and ironic to…
