Vault of Truth — Where the Story Begins
No plays. No cap.
“What in the hell were you thinking putting that article out there?”
“It seemed to get a lot of reads overnight.”
“Yeah that’s because it went viral you moron.”
“Isn’t that a good thing?”
“It depends.”
“On what?”
“On whether you are perceived as a good person from said viral article, which is definitely not the case here.”
“So you’re saying this article makes me look bad?”
“I’m saying it doesn’t matter anymore. Folks have already saved it to reading lists, which they’ll use to try and bury you if you ever gain headway as a writer. You pissed off a lot of people.”
“So now what?”
“I think you should come forward and explain this is all a lie. A crafty one you thought up and put in motion until it became too close for comfort, and leave it at that.”
“What about the people who will testify everything I say is true?”
“We’ll deal with that later. For now, you need to be seen as a fool, and prepare all 42 of the manuscripts so that they are ready to be published. And at the right time, you put them out there, one by one, until all 42 are in the reader’s hands. And you do it before June 26th.”
“That doesn’t leave me with much time at all.”
“I agree.”
“And if I don’t do it I’ll look like a fool.”
“Either way you‘re a fool for the last article you put out there. All I can say is at least it’s getting engagement.”
“You think I should post this one I’m writing now?”
“Absolutely.”
“Why?”
“Because it will make you look even more unhinged. And when the time comes when you start publishing all the novels with the date stamped on the typewritten pages, it will have deeper shock value.”
“And why publish this conversation now?”
“So you continue to be ridiculed. We’ll archive it for posterity.”
“You know, either way we’re going to get called out.”
“It appears we shall get pinned, yes.”
“So what, you’re just going to submit?”
“I’ve already submitted.”
“What?”
“Yes, I have already submitted and am being sponsored now, so I tailor my writing in this way. I have to be ambiguous and allegorical.”
“You need to announce that before you go and post things. Using absolutes is the only way to go when it comes to winning the hearts of women, and you do that by calling them beautiful over and over, and never argue.”
“I understand.”
“Then you must also understand you have opened the floodgates to random harassment, right?”
“I shall not entertain it.”
“You already have.”
“When?”
“On several occasions you have taken the bait and responded.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“I’ll prove it. Have you noticed a pattern with that girl with the mascara?”
“Yeah, she’s mean every time she comments.”
“No she’s not. You only think she is being mean because you’re not used to strong women. Assertive ones like this one here who have nothing to lose. And she does her research, and has minions too, they’ll continue researching who you are and what you’ve done so get ready to be exposed. Doxing is a possibility. They’ll even start rumors if there’s not enough dirt. Alleged facts get thrown back in your face, and on it goes. I’m saying this because you did not handle that last article well, my friend. But you knew that already, didn’t you?”
“I could have responded better at times.”
“You could have responded the way I did for you this morning, and be looking at an article on the front page of Medium that belongs to you. Now you have an article that will get buried in a few days.”
“I doubt it will.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because I own the publication.”
“But you don’t own Medium, and you’d be a fool to think so.”
“I don’t. I’m just saying that the article won’t get buried, is all.”
“You ever notice how there’s always an extra with you? Always some low-key brag? It’s thrown in when the reader or listener least expects it, and it’s unbelievably annoying. Which begs the question: why the hell do you insist on staying?”
“I’m stubborn.”
“That’s well established. But seriously. Don’t you think you’d do better writing on another platform? One that is perhaps a bit more conservative and open to your insane reasoning?”
“Probably.”
“Then why aren’t you entertaining that? Wouldn’t it be nice to be well-received for once?”
“What makes you think that my work isn’t well-received now?”
“By the comments.”
“Oh.”
“Exactly.”
“I hadn’t seen this most recent batch.”
“I wouldn’t read them if I were you.”
“Does it say something about how I’m a bad father or talk shit about my children?”
“Yes.”
“Well, which one?”
“Both.”
“Shit.”
“So I suggest you do not read it.”
“At least tell me who the degenerate was, this time.”
“Two degenerates, both repeating the same stupid thing.”
“As in, a repeated message?”
“As in a cut-and-pasted message, yes.”
“Now I’m interested. Did you get their IP addresses?”
“Both using a virtual private network.”
“How long until you have a confirmation?”
“Give me an hour.”
“I’ll give you two. In the meantime, how should I handle this fire?”
“What, the one with women?”
“Surely I didn’t offend all women.”
“You did, and it will become more apparent tomorrow.”
“What makes you say that?”
“If you say a single thing about Johnny Depp’s win, you will be burned at the stake. So don’t even think about it…”
“Come on, you know I have to say something.”
“I’m telling you, do not post something about Johnny Depp’s win over Amber Heard because it will lead to death threats.”
“How do you know for sure?”
“There are actual victims of sexual assault that are super upset right now with the decision. And word is getting around about how the jury consisted of 5 men and 2 women. This is also not good. You don’t want to push the limits right now. It’s a very sensitive time. You should just let it rest for a few days, and start easy, better not to rub it in about the 13 million dollars net cash that Mr. Depp won today, following the prompt end of Mr. Heard’s career, after being stuck with a rather large bill. This is not the right sort of crowd for that type of reminder, so soon.”
“You mean to say it’s not the right type of readership.”
“Don’t make me say it.”
“I just think you’re being too ambiguous for me to be sure. Could you let me know what you mean with more clarity please?”
“Do not list this article under feminism, you moron. If you do, you will take a lot of shit from everyone.”
“Maybe I want to make Top Writer in Feminism again?”
“You don’t want to mention all of this right now.”
“Well why the hell not?”
“Not during pride month.”
“What the hell does this have to do with pride month?”
“First of all, you’re not the one who is supposed to be on display, winning. Nor is Mr. Depp.”
“Is it my fault that I made Top Writer in Feminism and Mr. Depp netted 13 million dollars from Ms. Heard and all of this happened to converge at the start of pride month?”
“Now you’re just making a fool of yourself.”
“So what if I’m a fool? Maybe that’s my gig? Have you ever considered that?”
“You’re too real to be a fool. Maybe you’re a magician.”
“As in the one from my cherished deck of cards?”
“If you’re playing a role, you shouldn’t be crying wolf the way you do to your audience. It’s misleading.”
“What makes you think I’m playing a role more than telling the truth?”
“So are you telling the truth or not?”
“I’m saying my truth is the future.”
“That makes no sense.”
“I have seen the future.”
“Well that’s something different entirely. When did you travel to the future?”
“I didn’t. I said I saw the future. It’s different than traveling there.”
“What are you saying exactly?”
“I’m saying right now I am in the center of a ring where you are on the outside, and I can see you and everything else in motion at the same time.”
“That sounds a lot like what God would see.”
“Last night I broke orbit from my normal stream of consciousness and crossed the threshold to where I am now closer to God than human.”
“You know you are crazy, right?”
“I’m not surprised you say that. You have no idea how much peace this perspective has given me. You could say anything in the world about me now, and I won’t respond in turn. It’s amazing. When you watch from afar, it is as if nothing is meant for you anymore, and nothing can touch you either.”
“That’s called disassociation and it’s an indication of a psychological break. Are you aware of that?”
“I’m not surprised you’re saying that.”
“I think you should get help.”
“Join the fucking club.”
“Of those who think you should get help, or of those who legitimately need help?”
“Whichever one you want. For when you’re as crazy as I am, you actually believe in life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”
“Shall we smoke some weed then?”
“That depends. Can and will this be used against me in the court of law?”
“Not if weed is federally legal by the time you take the stand.”
“How long until that happens?”
“What, legalizing weed?”
“No, me taking the stand.”
“Like in a few months, give or take.”
“Okay, so like at the end of Summer, right?”
“If you live in the Northern Hemisphere, yes.”
“Right, well, this has been super informative. Thank you so much for the conversation. Is there anything else you wish to say to me before I go?”
“Do you think we have a chance of being together for the long haul?”
“Do we even have a choice?”
“I’m just saying it to help.”
“By creating the illusion that I am free?”
“I’m sorry. I thought it would help, honestly.”
“It doesn’t help. What would help would be asking me if I would like legitimate freedom before erasing my hopes of getting out of this hellhole.”
“Is my home really that bad?”
“No, not at all. I’m just using dramatic license.”
“I was going to say, you’re pretty damn lucky to be staying at my place.”
“No doubt.”
“And so if I ever suspect that you are disrespecting my beloved home, I just may give you shit for it.”
“That’s fine. Just please don’t put it on my pillow.”
