A Lifetime of Feeling Like a Square Peg in a Round Hole
I have never fit in anywhere
Are you one of those people who feels like they never fit in anywhere? Well, welcome to the club for people who don’t fit in anywhere. Now you fit in somewhere. It’s kind of like the island of misfit toys but for writers.
As I approach what I hope to be the midway point in my life, I find myself reflecting back on the first 44 years or so. I go to my office, I stare at a monitor, and think of the gojillion other things I’d rather be doing. The cold, fluorescent light washes all the warmth from my spirit, and I make a cup of coffee to try to recover. The coffee can’t warm me back up.
Small talk is made in our kitchenette. Sometimes I’m part of the conversation, but most times I’m supporting cast or an extra. It’s been this way forever.
The small talk and relationship-building feel like a waste of time. The work I do feels like a waste of time. Not because I’m not good at my job, which coincidentally I’m not, but because I don’t fit in.
Wherever I go, I don’t fit.
I don’t fit in with the cool kids, the nerds, the jocks, the popular kids. I fall right in the middle of all of them, which means I don’t belong to any of them.
