那些希望在40歲以前可以知道的人生教訓 by Julie Zhuo

翻譯至: The gifts of 40. Unintuitive life lessons I wish I’d… | by Julie Zhuo | Jun, 2024 | Medium

Photo by Buse Doga Ay on Unsplash

Julie Zhuo的書讓我順利的度過晉升主管職的第一年：Julie Zhuo： Facebook 產品設計副總與她的「冒牌者症候群」 | Star Rocket Blog

而訂閱她的電子報：The Looking Glass | Julie Zhuo | Substack作為日常的材料也是必須的。

這次這篇：The gifts of 40 — by Julie Zhuo — The Looking Glass (substack.com)

有幸讓還沒到40歲前的我可以作為參考，現在這時代從零開始已經太慢了。好好的吸收前輩的經驗，相信可以少走更多錯路。當然，我個人理念也還是要腳踏實地，但透過這樣的方式可以讓自己在心中建立一些index，有效的幫助自己前進。

它不一定是甚麼有效的法則，但也適合三不五時開起來讀一讀。

這次一樣跟著AI還有個人的一些小編撰，加上繁中分享在此處。Enjoy！

Dear Readers,

親愛的讀者們，

I have consumed a thousand remixes of Thing I’d wish I’d known when I was younger. I gobble them up — every tweet, every tarnished cliche.

我讀過無數次“我希望在年輕時知道的事情”的合輯。我貪婪地吸收每一條推文，每一個老生常談。

At first, it was because I wanted somebody else’s hard-earned wisdom to rub off a bit on me, so I might skate by life’s obstacles with a little more song and ease. Alas, someone should have told me then that wisdom cannot really be told.

最初，我希望別人辛苦得來的智慧能稍微傳染給我，讓我在人生的障礙上多一點歌聲和輕鬆。可惜，當時應該有人告訴我，智慧無法真正傳達。

The Looking Glass is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

《The Looking Glass》是一個讀者支持的出版物。如果想收到新文章並支持我的工作，請考慮成為免費或付費訂閱者。

Later, I read these lists for the nods of solidarity. Ah yes, I’ve gotten that tattoo also, a momento of some wild tragic story. It’s fun to compare the collections within our skins.

後來，我閱讀這些清單是為了尋求共鳴。啊，是的，我也有那樣的印記，那是一個狂野悲劇故事的紀念品。比較我們皮膚上的收藏是很有趣的。

Every year that passes, my vault of life lessons grows ever more precious to me. Some turn sour and get discarded. Some take on more complex notes. Some get blended together. The task of labelling and organizing them overwhelms me. I won’t do it justice; I’ll spend years trying.

每過一年，我的生活教訓保險櫃就變得更加珍貴。有些會變得酸澀而被丟棄，有些則變得更複雜，有些則會混合在一起。標記和組織它們的任務讓我不堪重負。我無法公正對待它們；我將花幾年時間來嘗試。

Every once in a while, to mark the spin of another year, I’ll pull a few out to try and capture in my own words.

偶爾，為了標記一年又一年的流逝，我會挑選一些出來，用自己的話來表達。

Here I present them in a pithy form. Subscribers who want a more detailed explanation — write me your questions in this issue’s subscriber thread!

在此，我以簡潔的形式呈現它們。希望更詳細解釋的訂閱者 — — 請在本期訂閱者線程中寫下你的問題！

Warmly,

~Julie

真摯的，

~Julie

1. For whatever action scares you (and isn’t life-threatening), remember this surefire way to eliminate the fear: do it 100 times. 對於任何讓你害怕（且不危及生命）的行動，消除恐懼的萬無一失的方法是：做100次。
2. Taking advantage of youthful invulnerability is like taking out a loan. Over decades, your body eventually comes to call the debt. 利用青春的無懈可擊就像是借貸。幾十年後，你的身體最終會來收取這筆債務。
3. The dimension of time explains why you are not your thoughts, your emotions, or your capabilities. None of these persist against the ticking of the clock. 時間的維度解釋了為什麼你不是你的思想、你的情緒或你的能力。這些都無法與時間的流逝抗衡。
4. You can only optimize what you can measure. This explains both why it’s impossible to optimize for happiness (not measurable), and why we so often optimize for things that don’t actually make us happy (money, social media likes, how much you can deadlift, etc — all easy to measure!) 你只能優化能夠測量的東西。這解釋了為什麼幸福是無法優化的（不可測量），以及為什麼我們經常優化那些實際上不讓我們快樂的東西（錢、社交媒體點贊、你能從地板上舉起多少等 — — 這些都容易測量！）
5. Irritation and frustration shields anger. Anger shields sadness. Sadness is the thing we fear most. But sadness also connects us deepest. Seek the roots to sadness, and find the route to connection. 煩躁和挫折掩蓋了憤怒。憤怒掩蓋了悲傷。我們最害怕的是悲傷，但悲傷也最能讓我們產生深層的連接。尋找悲傷的根源，就能找到連接根源的途徑。

1. Your conscious mind is the CEO of your being. Like most CEOs, it thinks it has a good understanding of what’s happening on the ground. Like most CEOs, it rarely does. 你的意識就像是你的CEO。像大多數CEO一樣，它認為自己對實際情況有很好的了解。但像大多數CEO一樣，它很少真正了解。
2. Your worst nightmare or greatest dream is rarely what is actually happening in front of you; it’s the story you believe about what it means. Remember that we are fanciful storytellers. The later the hour, the hotter our emotional spark — the more fanciful our story. 實際發生在你面前的不是你最糟的噩夢或最大的夢想；它是你對其意義的信念。記住，我們是講虛幻故事的人。時間越晚，我們的情感火花越旺 — — 我們的故事就越虛幻。
3. If you want to change how you feel, learn to either change your actions or change the story you believe. 如果你想改變自己的感受，學會改變你的行動或改變你相信的故事。
4. To learn how to change the story you believe, treat yourself like a black box (hello self-GPT!) Then, do repeated experiments (“prompt engineer”) until you figure out what changes your beliefs. 要學會改變你相信的故事，把自己當成一個黑盒子（你好，自我GPT！）然後反覆進行實驗（“提示工程師”），直到找出改變你信念的方法。
5. Every journey you take in life — whether in work or in love, for leisure or for achievement — masquerades a journey to understand yourself. The earlier you accept this, the more fruitful your adventures. 你在生活中經歷的每一次旅程 — — 無論是工作、愛情、休閒還是成就 — — 都偽裝成了了解自己的旅程。越早接受這一點，你的冒險就越有成果。

1. Satisfaction does not come from money, rewards, status or praise; it comes from impressing yourself. Mistaking the former for the latter is a source of enormous misery. 滿足感不是來自金錢、獎勵、地位或讚揚；它來自於讓自我印象深刻。將前者誤認為後者是巨大痛苦的來源。
2. You impress yourself when you do something you care about that is hard. Remember: there is no pride without struggle. 當你做了一件你在乎且困難的事情時，你會讓自己印象深刻。記住：沒有掙扎，就沒有驕傲。
3. What’s hard for you is defined by your brain and your brain only. If you can do something unconsciously, it is no longer hard for you. 對你來說困難的事物由你的大腦定義，僅由你的大腦定義。如果你能無意識地完成某事，那對你來說已經不再困難。
4. What’s hard for you yesterday may no longer be hard for you today, and vice versa. Pay attention and be honest. 昨天對你來說困難的事，今天可能不再困難，反之亦然。注意並誠實面對。
5. Walk towards what you’re afraid of, and you’ll always find your greatest learning opportunity. 向你害怕的方向走，你總會找到最大的學習機會。

1. The truth of anything is multidimensional and impossible to fully grasp. So a better question than “Is this <opinion / suggestion / advice> true?” is “In what scenario is this <opinion / suggestion / advice> true?” 任何事情的真相都是多維度的，無法完全理解。因此，一個比“這個<意見/建議>是真的嗎？”更好的問題是“在什麼情況下這個<意見/建議>是真的？”
2. Everything you hear is coated with the speaker’s bias. Identifying that bias makes you better at understanding in what scenario something is true.你聽到的每件事都帶有說話者的偏見。識別這種偏見可以讓你更好地理解某些情況下的真相。
3. Everything you say will be massively wrong in some scenario. Remember this and stay humble.你說的每件事在某些情況下都會有很大錯誤。記住這一點，保持謙遜。
4. It’s easier to see the bias in others’ advice if you assume what they tell you is really what they’re trying to tell themselves. 如果你假設他們告訴你的事情其實是他們想告訴自己的事情，你會更容易看到別人建議中的偏見。
5. Whenever a situation appears black or white to you, be wary. You’re either highly stressed, or you’re lacking context, or both. 每當一個情況在你看來是非黑即白的時候，要小心。你要麼是壓力很大，要麼是缺乏上下文，或者兩者兼有。

1. The number one meta-skill for success is learning to be an exceptional learner. 成功的首要元技能是學習成為一個優秀的學習者。
2. The knowledge to solve practically all of the problems you encounter already exists somewhere in the world. But the vast majority of people would rather reinvent a shitty wheel than conduct a thorough search. 解決幾乎所有問題的知識已經存在於世界的某個地方。但絕大多數人寧願重新發明一個糟糕的輪子，也不願進行徹底的搜索。
3. There are only 3 methods to learning: 1) increase your exposure to new knowledge (conversations, blogs, books, podcasts, etc.) 2) improve retention of knowledge (active listening, highlighting, reflecting, teaching, etc.) 3) increase your pace of personal experimentation (try doing new things). Most people focus on 1, but 2 and 3 yield more gains. 學習只有三種方法：1）增加對新知識的接觸（對話、博客、書籍、播客等）2）提高知識的保留（積極聆聽、突出重點、反思、教學等）3）加快個人實驗的步伐（嘗試新事物）。大多數人專注於第一點，但第二點和第三點能帶來更多收穫。
4. You tend to get better tactical advice from someone 2–5 years ahead of you than from your field’s top expert. You tend to get better wisdom from the expert. 你往往會從比你領先2–5年的人那裡獲得更好的戰術建議，而不是從你領域的頂尖專家那裡。你往往會從專家那裡獲得更好的智慧。
5. The biggest detriment to learning is your pride. Once you believe you’re pretty good at something, prepare for your rate of growth to slow drastically. 學習的最大障礙是你的驕傲。一旦你認為自己在某件事情上做得不錯，準備好你的成長速度會急劇放緩。

1. The best analogy for the art of life is riding a rickety bicycle. At any moment, you need to lean some direction so you don’t fall. But which exact direction depends on where you are at that exact moment. 生活的最佳比喻是騎著一輛搖搖晃晃的自行車。在任何時刻，你都需要朝某個方向傾斜，這樣你才不會摔倒。但具體傾斜的方向取決於你當時所處的位置。
2. The qualities that make you exemplary will simultaneously be the qualities that make you miserable. 讓你卓越的品質同時也會是讓你痛苦的質量。
3. There is no love without loss. There is no gain without risk. Shielding yourself from pain is closing yourself off to joy. 沒有失去就沒有愛。沒有風險就沒有收穫。保護自己不受痛苦就是關閉自己對快樂的感受。
4. Every glamour has its price; it’s not freedom of choice if you don’t understand what you’re paying. 每種魅力都有其代價；如果你不知道你在付出什麼，那就不是自由選擇。
5. If you believe your own story is interesting, you’ll naturally believe everyone else’s story will be interesting too. This one belief will make you a 10x better conversationalist. 如果你認為自己的故事有趣，你自然也會認為別人的故事有趣。這一信念會讓你成為一個好十倍的談話者。

1. The closest thing we have to a superpower is the bright gaze of our attention. 明亮凝視的注意力是我們須具備的超能力。
2. The kindest gift you can give is being a loving and truthful mirror for another. 你能給予的最善良的禮物是成為另一個人的愛心和真實的鏡子。
3. The worst competition to take part in is who hurt who more. 參加最糟糕的競賽是誰傷害誰更多。
4. The most irritating people are the ones who remind you of what you don’t like about yourself. 最讓人惱火的人是那些提醒你自己不喜歡什麼的人。
5. The most painful insult is what you believe yet feel ashamed to believe. 最痛苦的侮辱是你相信但又感到羞愧的東西。

1. Never attribute to lying that which is adequately explained by self-unawareness. 不要將可以充分用自我無知解釋的事情歸因於撒謊。
2. The most effective way to grow a network is to: a) be fascinated by other people and b) enjoy helping for the sake of it. 擴展人脈的最有效方法是：a）對他人著迷，b）為了幫助而享受幫助。
3. Your hand’s skill can never surpass your eye’s taste. The world will try to turn your tastes average, so to sharpen your eye, choose to spend your time in communities of outlier tastes. 你的手藝永遠無法超越你的眼光。世界會試圖讓你的品味變得普通，所以要磨練你的眼光，就選擇在品味出眾的社群中度過時間。
4. Whenever you hear yourself saying “I have to…”, change it to “I choose to…” Remembering you have choices does wonders for your well-being. 每當你聽到自己說“我必須……”時，把它改成“我選擇……”。記住你有選擇，這對你的幸福有奇效。
5. Advice does not give you wisdom; life gives you wisdom. If advice is ever useful, it’s only because it tidies up your messy house and helps you locate the key you’ve been searching for. Never forget: you already possess the key. 建議不會給你智慧；生活會給你智慧。如果建議有用，那只是因為它整理了你凌亂的房子，幫助你找到了你一直在尋找的鑰匙。永遠不要忘記：你已經擁有了鑰匙。

讀40歲等級的lesson learns，可以感受到更多的踏實，更多是無法一時間理解，需要更多時間去體會。

承襲著前一篇的幸福：Happiness: 我也從沒問過自己，幸福到底是什麼？. 在人生道路上一直戰戰兢兢的自我學習，也抱著焦慮與恐懼隨時怕自己被淘汰。現在，為一… | by Allen Shaing | May, 2024 | Medium

踏實感的意念，也漸漸得影響我的底層。所追求的是一種務實感。

面對變化多端的環境，真的是需要不斷不斷地回歸自我才能看清楚接下來的路。