I’ve written already about my struggles with motivation, how inspiration can become almost overwhelming one moment and disappear entirely the next. This is something I am constantly fighting, but it is not the only struggle.
I’ve never been one for drugs. I’ve dallied with various substances that come under the moniker, but lack of funds has generally kept me away. That and complicated moral issues that are both long and rather boring.
At high school I was always rather ashamed of liking video games. I had precisely one other friend who appreciated them as I did, with everyone else assuming they were a part of a medium destined to be assigned to the scrapheap of history as an attempt to keep the geek distracted from the real world.
I’m going to try just writing without a topic again here. I’m not sure if this is because I don’t want this published, even though no-one reads my Medium, or because I’m being lazy in coming up with things to write about.
Smell has always been the most powerful agent of nostalgia. One whiff of a perfume long since smelled, or a dish long since forgotten can impel to the forefront of the mind the most vivid recollections. I had thought this method of unwarranted recall unsurmountable in its effectiveness, but I have begun to doubt…
Getting lost is never fun. The feeling of uncertainty, the feeling of being as far from control as possible, where your path depends not on some carefully calculated plan but on the happenstance of fate. The idea that no skill nor practiced study can aid you in your escape from the situation you find…
I was, at first, hesitant. I’m about as far from the bike gangs of California as I am from the Yakuza gangs of Tokyo and neither held any special appeal to me. Although I’d watched gangs do business in Baltimore and drug cooks in Albuquerque, the idea of becoming invested in a series that portrayed…
Motivation is fickle.
Or at least, that’s what I’ve been telling myself.
Every day for the past few weeks, give or take several blurry mornings, I’ve been engaged in a little experiment. I’ve been freewriting.