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by Lisa Martens. Feminist, mixed, opinionated. The kinds of stories that make people on my friends list wonder if I’m deranged.
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A MAGA Relative Wants To Retire In Latin America
A MAGA Relative Wants To Retire In Latin America
One of my MAGA relatives cannot afford retirement in the United States, so they want to move to Latin America.
Lisa Martens
Apr 22
This Mother’s Day I’m Thinking About The Time I Was Almost Sold
Lisa Martens
He left you a voice message.
Lisa Martens
I Lost My Neutral Attractiveness
Lisa Martens
Why do passport bros think American women don’t have the same options?
Lisa Martens
In defense of denial of mental illness.
Lisa Martens
You Think Your Mania Is A Gift From God.
Lisa Martens
Latest
Men don’t care if I’m good at anything.
Men don’t care if I’m good at anything.
Photo by Hannah Olinger on Unsplash
Lisa Martens
May 9
Cool Girls Become Cool Moms
Cool Girls Become Cool Moms
Cool girls become cool moms. Cool girls laugh at jokes they don’t really find funny; cool girls dissociate around confident girls.
Lisa Martens
May 7
We Talk About Our Lovers By The Pool.
We Talk About Our Lovers By The Pool.
It’s an overcast day. We talk about our lovers by the pool. You bought the first bottle of wine; I already have the second chilling in my…
Lisa Martens
May 5
The Bear Has Entered The Chat
The Bear Has Entered The Chat
An interview with THE bear who was chosen over men.
Lisa Martens
May 3
LinkedIn Posts Are Trying To Impose Order On A Chaotic World.
LinkedIn Posts Are Trying To Impose Order On A Chaotic World.
Photo by Greg Bulla on Unsplash
Lisa Martens
Apr 24
An earnest question for Taylor Swift.
An earnest question for Taylor Swift.
Photo by Rosa Rafael on Unsplash
Lisa Martens
Apr 24
She fell out of love watching him pile meat and toilet paper into his truck.
She fell out of love watching him pile meat and toilet paper into his truck.
Photo by visuals on Unsplash
Lisa Martens
Apr 23
What won’t the bear do?
What won’t the bear do?
It just doesn’t make sense. Why would anyone pick being alone with a bear in the woods?
Lisa Martens
Apr 21
I was just permanently banned from TikTok.
I was just permanently banned from TikTok.
Cool cool.
Lisa Martens
Apr 19
She eats a bit of mango even though she’s allergic.
She eats a bit of mango even though she’s allergic.
Photo by JACQUELINE BRANDWAYN on Unsplash
Lisa Martens
Apr 18
Your Doordasher Could Be An Old Man Struggling Up The Stairs.
Your Doordasher Could Be An Old Man Struggling Up The Stairs.
Success is broken.
Lisa Martens
Apr 18
Defending The American Eclipse Apocalypse
Defending The American Eclipse Apocalypse
My semi-viral TikTok about the end of the world.
Lisa Martens
Apr 10
I’m not going to have kids just because Bill Gates doesn’t want me to.
I’m not going to have kids just because Bill Gates doesn’t want me to.
Childfree women have to hear a lot of BS…hell, even women with kids who support choice have to hear a lot of BS.
Lisa Martens
Apr 7
“The men are going to look anyway.”
“The men are going to look anyway.”
Photo by Olivia Bauso on Unsplash
Lisa Martens
Apr 6
You’re A Scary Loving Man.
You’re A Scary Loving Man.
Inspired by the Huberman accusations and my own experiences.
Lisa Martens
Mar 30
There’s No Proof Of What They Did To You.
There’s No Proof Of What They Did To You.
On self-validation and moving on.
Lisa Martens
Mar 24
This Mother And Daughter Will Never Get Along.
This Mother And Daughter Will Never Get Along.
Photo by guille pozzi on Unsplash
Lisa Martens
Mar 22
Is It Wrong To Fall Out Of Love With Him?
Is It Wrong To Fall Out Of Love With Him?
Does it mean I never loved him?
Lisa Martens
Mar 21
Are Americans Entitled To Untouched Foreign Lands?
Are Americans Entitled To Untouched Foreign Lands?
A story of a Jaco Starbucks.
Lisa Martens
Mar 17
His Personality Is Hating What Women Like.
His Personality Is Hating What Women Like.
The modern troll.
Lisa Martens
Mar 14
You’re allowed to be creative.
You’re allowed to be creative.
Photo by Dragos Gontariu on Unsplash
Lisa Martens
Mar 12
A male humanoid robot touched a reporter’s rear end. What does this mean for sexual harassment?
A male humanoid robot touched a reporter’s rear end. What does this mean for sexual harassment?
Photo by DIEGO SÁNCHEZ on Unsplash
Lisa Martens
Mar 11
Ariana Grande’s Imagination Is Better Than Any Man.
Ariana Grande’s Imagination Is Better Than Any Man.
Something I hope she knows.
Lisa Martens
Mar 11
Be happy for me.
Be happy for me.
Photo by Rosie Kerr on Unsplash
Lisa Martens
Mar 9
“You Can Do What You Want In Life, But It’s Going To Be Impossibly Hard”
“You Can Do What You Want In Life, But It’s Going To Be Impossibly Hard”
You can do what you want in life, but it’s going to be impossibly hard. You’ll have to pursue your passions after work, and you’ll be too…
Lisa Martens
Mar 7
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