The Year 2018 in Music

What a year it has been. Christina Aguilera returned . . . and no one cared. Lady Gaga returned . . . and people cared a little too much. Cher released an album of ABBA covers. Ed Sheeran didn’t release an album at all (thank God). Country music sneaked back into the spotlight. Hip-hop reached new levels of cultural significance. And pop music . . . kind of disappeared.

To honour the defining musical moments of the past year, fellow music addict Jacqueline Bashaw and I have chosen our personal winners in various categories. So without further ado, let’s take a look at some of the best, some of the worst, and some of the most annoying music of 2018.

Category is . . . BEST SONG

Christoph: “High Horse” — Kacey Musgraves

. . . because disco country is the genre hybrid we never knew we needed. From the throwback beat to the subtly bitchy lyrics, this masterpiece rightfully catapulted Kacey Musgraves out of Nashville and into the international spotlight. With its slight political undertone and the brief Donald Trump cameo in its music video, “High Horse” was 2018’s dark horse of pop music — the critically acclaimed mega hit no one saw coming.

Jacqueline: “Finest Hour” — Cash Cash feat. Abir

. . . because this song is guaranteed to put me in a good mood. Abir’s vocals will slay you on the intro, but the chorus will bring you back to life when the bass drops. The acoustic version is gold, too, so be sure to check that out while you’re at it.

Category is . . . BEST ALBUM

Christoph: One Stone — Trixie Mattel

. . . because underneath tons of makeup and several blonde wigs, Trixie Mattel is an exceptionally gifted songwriter. One Stone marries intriguing lyrics with catchy folk melodies, taking you on a magical journey as records in the age of streaming seldom do.

Jacqueline: The Greatest Showman — Original Cast Recording

. . . because every song is a gem. I’m serious, find me one that isn’t. If “Finest Hour” ever fails to put me in a good mood, you can be sure that “From Now On” will be the next song in the playlist.

Category is . . . BEST MUSIC VIDEO

Christoph: “Mockingbird” — Ruston Kelly

. . . because this story is so heartbreaking and so beautifully set to the music that artists with far bigger budgets should take notes. Kacey Musgraves’ husband set the bar incredibly high for next year.

Jacqueline: “thank u, next” — Ariana Grande

. . . because HOLY HELL what a masterpiece. The burn book, the cameos, the bend and snap. Iconic.

Category is . . . BEST NEW ARTIST

Christoph: Alice Chater

. . . because she single-handedly proved that pop music isn’t dead. In a year that left us longing for some proper pop hits, Alice delivered again and again. “Hourglass” in particular firmly established her as the next big thing and built up high expectations for 2019.

Jacqueline: Aly & AJ

. . . because, even though Aly & AJ are certainly not new to the music scene, they have made a triumphant comeback and are basically an entirely new entity — one we’re lucky to have.

Category is . . . BEST COMEDY SONG

Christoph: “I’ve Always Never Believed In You” — Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast

. . . because this is by far the most realistic song about raising a child you’ve ever heard. Donna Lynne Champlin’s vocals are ON POINT, and the lyrics somehow manage to make you feel extremely proud of a fictitious loser. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend once again delivered hit after hit in 2018, and both “I Want To Be A Child Star” and “Without Love You Can Save The World” almost took this spot. I have a feeling Jacqueline may have something to say about the latter…

Jacqueline: “Without Love You Can Save The World” — Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast

. . . because even though Christoph almost claimed it before me, there’s just nothing else that compares. We’re both clearly obsessed with Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, and with good reason — listen to “Without Love You Can Save The World” and you’ll understand. Best Line? “Forget who ya did think about what you can do.”

Category is . . . BEST NOSTALGIA SONG

Christoph: “Ladies In The 90s” — Lauren Alaina

. . . because it’s a catchy-as-hell 90s throwback with a heavy dose of female empowerment thrown into it. Ed Sheeran, Charli XCX, and many others tried to pen the perfect nostalgia song this year, but only Lauren Alaina truly succeeded. Take notes, pop stars, take notes.

Jacqueline: “Africa” — Weezer

. . . because we must be missing the 80s, or maybe just Toto, if we sent “Africa” to the top of the charts a second time.

Category is . . . MOST ANNOYING SONG

Christoph: “Psycho” — Post Malone feat. Ty Dolla Sign

. . . because . . . do I really need to explain this? Okay, here we go. Terrible lyrics. Repetitive melodies. Zero creativity. There you go.

Jacqueline: “Girls Like You” — Maroon 5 feat. Cardi B

. . . because even though a million songs were overplayed this year, this one has the most repetitive melodies in the world.

Category is . . . MOST OVERPLAYED SONG

Christoph: “This Is Me” — Keala Settle

. . . because even if Jacqueline chose the Greatest Showman soundtrack as her album of the year, this particular song is way too tacky to receive the praise it’s getting. Mind you, it’s not exactly terrible, but “This Is Me” is such a by-the-book empowerment ballad that it makes me yawn by the time the second chorus starts. And over the course of 2018 it made me fall asleep way too many times.

Jacqueline: “Back To You” — Selena Gomez

. . . because it’s relentless. Don’t get me wrong — I love this song. It’s a jam. Great bass drop, great lyrics, great melodies. But also overplayed? Absolutely.

Category is . . . WORST LINE

Christoph: “I am an animal with you” ( from “Animal” — Troye Sivan)

. . . because, first of all, the entire “animal” metaphor makes no sense at all. Humans are animals, so it’s nothing but a basic description. Besides, it attempts to refer to traits only a tiny percentage of animals actually have. And, even if you want to defend the metaphor by stating that it’s a culturally developed and widely understood turn of phrase, you still cannot deny that it’s insanely tacky and horribly worn-out. The fact that Troye uses it in a pseudo-emotional ballad makes it even worse. It’s baffling, really, because some Troye lyrics are amazing (“The Good Side”) while this is so mind-numbingly bad and, quite frankly, a sign of lazy songwriting. Thank you for listening to my rant, you may move on with your life now.

Jacqueline: “And what’s the point of hiding? Everybody knows we got unfinished business and I’ll regret it if I didn’t say this isn’t what it could be.” (from “Back To You” — Selena Gomez)

. . . because it doesn’t make sense. The song states that she wants to go “back to you,” and that there’s no point in hiding the relationship. But Gomez’s point gets hidden in the world of double negatives and rhyme scheme — she states she would regret it if she never said “this isn’t what it could be,” even though it seems like she really wants to indicate that there’s hope for the relationship. But hey — what a rhyme.

Category is . . . MOST LIKELY TO NEVER HAVE A HIT AGAIN

Christoph: Christina Aguilera

. . . because she doesn’t even try to, and it’s refreshing to see that attitude from a former mega-selling starlet. Neither her new album, Liberation, nor its lead single “Accelerate” represent serious attempts to conquer the charts. Even the Demi Lovato collab “Fall In Line” seems more like a half-hearted effort that’s supposed to make Christina’s label happy. She knows that she’ll never have a hit on the singles charts again, and she seems content with that. (At least I hope that’s what’s going on.)

Jacqueline: Mariah Carey

. . . because this iconic queen hasn’t had a hit in years, and “With You” doesn’t seem like it’s going to turn this trend around. Don’t get me wrong, I love Mariah, but “With You” isn’t the memorable single we needed that could stand the test of time.

And the big winner of 2018 is: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

. . . because, let’s face it, the TV series’s comedy songs are better than most of 2018’s serious offerings. (Congratulations — that’s a second win in a row for Rachel Bloom and co.)

And the big loser of 2018 is: Pop Music

. . . because if you take another look at the categories, you’ll realise that precious few of the winners are true pop stars. Those that are (see Selena Gomez and Christina Aguilera) were chosen in categories with negative connotations, while Alice Chater won Best New Artist precisely because she was the welcome exception in what was clearly an underwhelming year for pop music. Let’s hope 2019 will be a little less bleak in this regard.