Inhale Carbs, Exhale Satisfaction ft. San Francisco, CA
After living in the city for nearly two years, taste testing an array of goods and not-so-goods, the moment has finally come. This short list of bakeries needs no further introduction. Let’s roll right into it…
1. B. Patisserie
Pacific Heights (2821 California St)
B. Patisserie is home to the best kouign amann (pronounced Queen ah-MAHN) in San Francisco. For those of you who don’t recognize the pastry name, I am simultaneously sad and excited for you — sad because you’ve either (a) never had one or (b) never experienced one mind-blowing enough to remember the name, but excited that this could potentially be your first one. If this is you and you’re still wondering what a kouign amann is, it’s reminiscent of a croissant, but even more decadent because of the layer of sugar sprinkled at the end of the lamination process (that’s what creates the buttery layers)
B. Patisserie makes both traditional and decadent chocolate-filled kouign amanns, along with 2–3 rotating seasonal flavors, depending on fruits in season or holidays — around Lunar New Year, they have a black sesame one which has been my favorite for two years in a row.
In addition to these pastries, they also have a whole array of other pastries (e.g., chocolate banana almond croissant, other croissants), huge chocolate chip cookies, scones, tarts, cakes, sandwiches, artisan salads (lol y tho), and beverages. Something for everyone.
The line is typically very fast, even on weekends #operationalexcellence. Also, great ambiance for a coffee date.
2. Ariscault Bakery
Inner Richmond (397 Arguello Blvd)
Croissants. At Ariscault Bakery, you’ll find the best croissants in all of San Francisco. My ode is dedicated to the pain au chocolat (chocolate croissant to us peasants). No other place can beat their warm, buttery, flakey, delicate croissants. And then you fill it with 2 large bars of ooey-gooey chocolate? Blows my mind.
If you are not drawn to sweets, their plain croissant or savory ham and cheese croissant may call your name (they’re both downright delicious too!)
That said, there aren’t too many seats inside, so plan to grab and go. Don’t be turned off by the line snaking out the door. The cash register is right in the doorway so the wait is typically only 5-10 minutes!
3. Neighbor Bakehouse
Dog Patch (2343 3rd St)
~Like a good neighbor, Neighbor Bakehouse is there~
I like to think that I really know pastries. They’re my favorite and I schedule my day around eating them. And there’s such a large selection here! The winner in my book? Their smoked ham and cheese morning bun — nice healthy serving of ham accompanied by a flakey croissant exterior. Yes, a wonderful morning was had indeed. A close runner-up is the savory everything croissant, which is their play on the everything bagel, with the cream cheese inside and everything.
For those with a sweet tooth, there are of course all the usual suspects. And if you’re looking for something beyond the run-of-the-mill pastry, I’d recommend trying the ginger pull-apart. The ginger and cinnamon are perfectly complementary, neither flavor overpowering the other.
Neighbor Bakehouse has this hipster vibe that even I, a self-proclaimed basic, am undoubtedly a fan of. Maybe its the brick wall aesthetic, maybe its the open kitchen where you can see the pastry chefs working their magic. Regardless, park your butt at the outdoor picnic tables after purchasing a box and experience nirvana.
4. Mr. Holmes Bakehouse
Lower Nob Hill (1042 Larkin St)
I wasn’t sure I could love anything here more than the overly-instagrammed “I got baked in San Francisco” neon sign — come on, you’re basic, you know what I’m talking about.
Then I discovered Mr. Holmes’ selection of savory pastries. That’s right, savory. Bam. Like the savory gorgonzola shiitake mushroom danish? Savory artichoke parmesan danish? Seriously, to die for. Almost makes me forget their claim-to-fame is their inventive cruffin — a cross between a croissant and a muffin — that sold out within 30 minutes daily in their first few years of opening, and rumor has it, to this day.
Love the branding and how they complement my basic. They are constantly coming up with new flavor combinations and trending phrases like “I’m everyone’s type” and “hella baked”. My only complaint is they nearly always sell out of everything before noon. And the place is fun-sized, so it’s a dip in and out type of place. Plan accordingly.
