Asterisk Week 18: Sobre Julgamento
Reserving judgments is a matter of infinite hope
Texto por: Viviane Souza
O prompt de hoje foi o da última semana de abril, e foi escolhido pela Gabriela, nova participante do nosso projeto. “Reserving judgments is a matter of infinite hope” é uma frase do filme The Great Gatbsy, que a Gabriela escolheu porque a fez questionar sobre algumas coisas que ela acreditava.
Confiram nossos textos:
Judgment,
Something we do all the time.
We learn how to judge since we are just kids.
We judge each other, like our life depends on it.
People are always looking for reasons to judge the others.
But, think about it:
Reserving judgments is a matter of infinite hope.
Reflect on it,
And see if the judgments you make doesn’t come back to you,
And hit you when you least expecting.
This past week has been full of surprises and great news but also very busy and chaotic so I’ll try something else that someone has already done here a couple of weeks ago. I’ll use this week as a sort of diary.
I’ve listened to a podcast this week that has touched me a lot and had the theme of judgment, totally by chance. It’s kinda of embarrassing, because it’s a Harry Potter related podcast but bear with me a little. They discuss the Harry Potter books as sacred texts, using religious reading methods to analyze the text. I was listening to Book 4, chapter 13 on the theme of Judgment and it was pretty cliché for the most part. We all know we should not judge others as we don’t live their lives to actually know their paths. We all know we live in a judgmental world, where looks and things are more important than our actions. We all know how much judgment can damage one’s life as we probably have been wrongly judged. Those were all things discussed during the podcast and me, who had been listening carefully because I wanted to draw some inspiration to write this prompt, was getting disappointed. I really hate writing about clichés. Anyway, towards the end of the podcast the host touched on the theme of good judgement or rather, the dangerous of being totally non-judgmental in life. That got me thinking.
The prompt didn’t sit well with me when I first read it and actually, I’m not totally sure if I really got the meaning of it. “Reserving judgments is a matter of infinite hope.” I felt like disagreeing with it but I didn’t have the arguments to do so. I feel like I still don’t (and that’s why I couldn’t write a fiction/poetry about it) but I can say that, yes I don’t agree with it.
Reserving judgements implies being open to all kinds of actions and thoughts, in my view.
Being judgmental of degrading or racist behaviors is not a matter of infinite hope, but a matter of infinite awfulness.
I’m judgmental of anyone who acts inhuman.
I’m judgmental of people I love when they do or say things that hurt others. Being judgmental to a person we love is sometimes crucial.
Judgement is also an act of survival.
Especially in the world we live in today.
Researching for all of my memories, since the day that I decided to love what I really am, I catched myself getting lost in my own judgments.
So I had to kill my wrong perspectives off what I thought about me. I didn’t know, exactly, what selflove meant. I had to reprogram my thoughts and my heart to accept what I really am. I had to leave behind all my fears and mistakes.
Because reserving judgments is a matter of infinite hope, and I don’t want to keep stuck at the same doubt. Reserving judgments is a matter of infinite hope for whose give up. Now I know what I’m capable of.
Now I know that reserving judgments is a matter of choice.
Graham
My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips’ red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damasked, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress when she walks treads on the ground.
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.
-Sonnet 130, William Shakespeare
This week I would like to share something I learned about this sonnet in my literature class last fall. During the time in which Shakespeare lived, it was common for poets to write sonnets to their lovers that described specific attributes of them. Commonly, these attributes were idealized to such an extent that no woman could actually live up to such compliments. For example, I highly doubt that any human’s skin is as white as snow, or anybody’s lips are as red as coral. Furthermore, if someone’s cheeks were the same color as roses, I think they should probably go to the hospital for severe sunburn.
Shakespeare, in writing this sonnet, actively goes against such unrealistic idealizations. He purposefully describes his “mistress” as imperfect, thus forming a mental picture of a real woman, not an ideal. This is what makes this sonnet so beautiful.
I guess it’s probably clear where I’m going with this. Shakespeare reserved judgement of the woman he wrote this play for. He chose to not get hung up on her “imperfections,” but to see her for who she really was. However, thinking how this could lead to “infinite hope” is a bit tricky. I suppose that things can seem infinite without actually being so, and this is where the connection lies. The hope that a genuine love can bring is infinite to the person in love, and to me this is very valuable. A life lived without love or hope is a very bleak one, yet a lot of people do just that. This is unfortunate, but I suppose all one can do is try to be like Shakespeare in this regard: love without judgement.
We all judge others. I know we can’t help it, we are humans and judging is just another action our super evolved brains allow us to do.
I’m not sure you can avoid judging, I believe we don’t actually have control over it. It just happens: you see a situation or person that differs from your beliefs, and the first thing your mind does is to judge.
“They have no idea what they are doing…”
“What clothes are those? For God’s sake…”
“Why is he behaving like THAT?”
“She must be stupid if she thinks this”
And the list of nasty comments goes on!
So, I really don’t think someone can avoid this kind of reaction — even the nicest person in the room will judge. However, I do believe we have the power of reserving our judgments to ourselves, since there’s no need to expose our thoughts if they are not going to help in any way.
Most of the time, judging is just a defensive reaction: we feel threatened by the other, so we think ill of him in order to feel better about ourselves. It’s like our mind is tapping ourselves in the back, and that’s acceptable. Of course the best thing would be to not judge at all, but since it’s a very challenging goal, I would say we can at least start by keeping our thoughts to ourselves. Because reserving judgments is a matter of infinite hope.
The other person will not grow or improve as a human being if she finds out about your judgment. No, it will probably just hurt her. Put yourself in the other’s shoes: how would you feel if you heard all the judgemental things people have thought about you over time? Not so great, right?
So, if we avoid sharing these ugly thoughts we have when facing a contrasting situation, we are forcing ourselves to accept that things can be different and that’s ok. Even if they seem wrong to us, we don’t have the right to expose the other person, to make her feel sad or ashamed. To sum up, we don’t have the right to decide that this person should feel or be the same way as we do, because the world is full of diversity (thank God!) and we need to learn how to live in peace.
Sure, you can present your opinions and you should always do, since it’s in a respectful way. When facing a situation that brings judgements to your mind, you can put your ideas on the table and explain why you think differently. Always in a nice tone, always putting people first! If both sides talk in a civilized way, even disagreeing, they will have a very interesting conversation. Maybe they will even change their minds, maybe not. But they will listen to the other and learn from the different views. And, luckily, even their judgmental thoughts will change and become less harmful.
Therefore, I believe that by reserving judgments we are showing our hope in ourselves, since we’re demonstrating we believe we can better; and also our hope in others, since we’re giving them the place to be themselves.
Toda semana fazemos uma playlist com músicas relacionadas ao tema do prompt. Siga a gente no Spotify, também!
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Notas:
Os textos produzidos foram corrigidos por nós mesmos, então nos perdoe por qualquer erro!
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