Owning Your Skin
Growing up, I was the loud, extroverted kid. My family is energetic and noisy, and everyone competes to be the centre of attention, cracking jokes and roasting one another. I embraced this atmosphere, taking on the personality of the jokester and entertainer in my friendship circle, always ready with a story. I loved being in front of a crowd, whether singing, acting, dancing, or giving speeches. In fact, I won many competitions in public speaking and singing.
However, as I grew older and moved away from home, I began to retreat into my shell. It wasn’t an overnight transformation, but a gradual realization. By nature, I’m not an extroverted person. My surroundings and the expectations placed on me had led me to believe I was. But as I came to understand myself better, I realized I’m an introvert. And by an introvert, I don’t mean just enjoying being indoors or preferring my own company. I genuinely don’t like speaking much. I have a limit on how much conversation I can handle with one person, especially if they’re a stranger. I despise small talk and I’m very intentional about what I share or speak about with others. In a crowd, I no longer love being the centre of attention or being put on the spot.
This doesn’t mean I’m not confident, I just prefer conversing when it’s more intimate and not surface-level talk, or with familiar faces. But more often than not, if I feel I have nothing valuable to share, I won’t say anything. I’m pretty selective about where my time, attention, and energy go, and I strive to live mindfully which includes being conscious about the people I let into my space.
This behaviour though, does bite me in the butt sometimes — in business. Small talk helps to build networks and create rapport with clients and sometimes, I feel very frustrated that I’m not as outspoken as I used to be. Recently, during a pitch for a new client, they remarked that I’m an introvert, while my partner is an extrovert. I can’t deny that it got to me, because it seems it’s becoming more paramount in first-time interactions, and I obviously don’t want to lose the deal because of it. Fortunately, my partner excels in sales and networking, while I excel in technology and development, so they handled the room well.
Here are a few lessons from this week:
- Acceptance: Embrace your personality, it is what makes you unique and phenomenal.
- Connections: Focus on building meaningful relationships instead of numerous shallow ones. Quality over quantity.
- Strengths: Identify what you excel at and let it speak for you. You don’t need to be good at everything.
- Collaboration: Where you lack, someone else excels. Partner with people who complement your skills. Collaboration can bridge gaps and create a stronger whole. It also creates an opportunity to learn first-hand
- Baby Steps: Gradually step out of your comfort zone. Practice small talk in low-stress environments and build your confidence over time.
Owning your skin means embracing who you are, leveraging your strengths, and continuously growing. Everyone’s personality is unique, just as everyone’s journey is. Enjoy every step, with all its uncertainties and discoveries, because it’s yours and yours alone.
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