How South Korea’s Feminist Movement Saved My Life
With the 4B and 4T movements, we have made the decision to leave the patriarchy entirely behind us.
4B saved my life
4B, a South Korean feminist movement that rejects toxic social norms propagated by the patriarchy — refusing heterosexual marriage, dating, sex, and childbirth — has started gaining global attention.
Originally from South Korea, I moved to Japan, but eventually, I left both countries due to their deeply misogynistic cultures. However, I found inspiration in Korean and Japanese feminists.
In my mid-30s, I became familiar with the concept of 4B in the late 2010s when fourth-wave feminism gained significance in South Korea.
Before then, I had internalized the idea that I needed to be attractive to men, find a suitable husband, and get married before 30, have two children, buy a van, get a mortgage, and maintain a ‘normal’ happy family.
My efforts to achieve these goals left me with deep scars. I developed an eating disorder to stay skinny, endured serious verbal abuse and betrayal from men, and ultimately developed clinical depression.
Even after this, I continued dating men because the media and my friends kept feeding me poor ideas like ‘You will find Mr. Right,’ and ‘You’re a loser if you don’t date.’ I kept subjecting myself to bad relationships just to meet societal expectations of being a normal woman.
Then I discovered 4B — I removed toxic people from my life and started treating myself as a human — and now, I couldn’t be happier.
I actively try to understand my wants and needs, filling my life with things I enjoy. My depression has improved.
4B literally saved my life.
4B is a thing
To my surprise, 4B had gone global! It’s been trending on TikTok, and global channels such as my Medium feed started recommending articles about 4B.
X (Twitter) has been a platform where South Korean feminists have shared their experiences and found inspiration. Recently, I have noticed an increasing number of women from around the world mentioning or participating in the movement.
Then I came across a post by a Seoul-based freelance journalist, a man, who stated that 4B is not a thing because he had never heard of 4B.
It was intriguing to see news desks assigning a man who had never heard of the 4B movement to write about it. Why didn’t they ask South Korean women who initiated and actively participated in the movement? This prompted me to write this article.
As someone who has observed the evolution of feminism in South Korea for nearly a decade, I can confirm 4B’s significance. Although not a major phenomenon, its enduring presence is undeniable.
Today, I want to shift the focus to 4T, the accompanying movement with 4B. Therefore, I will skip discussing the details of 4B in this section. If you are interested, please refer to other resources below.
- 4B, or Not 4B…
- The 4B Movement And How It’s Changing The World.
- South Korea’s 4B Movement and Why it is More Universal than We May Think
What is 4T?
4T stands for four words starting with “tal,” meaning “escape”:
- Escape the Corset
- Escape the Religion
- Escape the Idols
- Escape the Otaku culture
The core idea of 4T is to “stop spending your life blindly supporting others and start living your own life,” which carries a powerful message.
I believe that women all around the world, who often sacrifice themselves to meet the needs of others, can benefit from this idea.
Let’s delve deeper into each T and explore what it represents, as well as the social background behind the initiation of the slogan.
1. Escape the Corset
Escape the Corset is the most broadly recognized movement among the 4T and has already been spotlighted by multiple international media outlets over the years.
This article on NPR highlights the story of photographer Bora Jeon’s journey of rejecting the country’s beauty standards. Meanwhile, this article in The Guardian tracks Ji-won Cha’s transformation after she decided to throw out all her makeup and cut her hair.
As a teenager in the ’90s, I shared the obsession of needing to be really thin, influenced by the fashion industry and figures like Karl Lagerfeld’s insanely skinny and pale models.
In my 20s, still struggling with the obsession and eating disorders, I thought this was my personal pain. Why was I born with this body shape? I felt I had failed to qualify as a beautiful woman, as portrayed in movies.
But as women began to actively share their struggles to be beautiful, we started to realize that this issue was not merely personal. We were all victims of the idea that we should treat ourselves as decorations.
That realization marked the beginning of problem recognition, and Korean women decided to escape from it.
Some broke all their cosmetics products in a symbolic act, some cut their hair short (I did this too — one of the best life choices I’ve made), and some refused to buy low-quality, itchy, and uncomfortable women’s clothes.
A couple of years ago, there was this hashtag where people shared how their appearance and life changed after they ‘escaped the corset.’
In all the ‘after’ photos, they are posing and moving like human beings — more active and powerful, obviously a lot happier, and no longer limiting themselves with the obsession of being beautiful.
Check #OffTheCorset or #탈코르셋 to see the actual change.
2. Escape the Religion
Have you ever watched the Netflix show about Korean cult leaders who promoted themselves as prophets and gods and sexually exploited female followers? South Korea has many such cults, undeniably linked to its misogynistic culture.
Yes, this is an extreme case. Generally, religions are supposed to encourage people to seek peace of mind, perform good deeds, and support the community.
However, it’s undeniable how religion often exploits women’s labor, treating it as a free resource, while all the dominant positions are occupied by men, with women even unable to attain high positions.
The Catholic Church is a primary example of this. Despite nuns often having to cook and clean for long hours, they are strictly excluded from the priesthood and the highest echelons of church leadership.
A common problem in Korean families is our mothers, who are overly passionate about volunteering for their religious institutions.
This occurs because the previous generation of Korean women often lacked opportunities to advance their careers, leading them to channel their passion and leadership into religious communities instead.
I have developed complicated feelings growing up watching my mom, too dedicated to the Catholic Church, while she hasn’t really prepared anything for her retirement. I hope she starts taking care of herself rather than volunteering so passionately for the church all the time.
This culture, which requires women to be overly devoted without pay, is one of many reasons why women struggle economically.
The proportion of impoverished elderly women (60.3%) is significantly higher than that for men (39.7%) in the Korean metropolitan area, according to statistics from the Ministry of Health and Welfare.
Thus, the message of ‘escape the religion’ emphasizes that you should take care of yourself first, and then help others. Don’t allow yourself to be overly exploited for any cause, no matter how noble or grand it may seem.
3. Escape the Idols
Again, as a teenager in the 90s, there wasn’t much we could enjoy as a hobby because we were constantly pressured to study in an overly competitive educational culture.
The only stress relief allowed was idolizing our K-pop stars. The first-generation idols such as H.O.T and Sechskies achieved significant commercial success, causing the intensity of K-pop fan culture to escalate.
One incident I recall involved a female celebrity rumored to be dating a member of a popular boy band. Fans responded by threatening her, sending razors and letters written in blood, and launching public attacks.
This incident demonstrates how the fan culture not only involved overly worshiping my ‘Oppa’ but also escalated to violence.
Fans these days spend significant amounts of money to please their idols, not just by buying albums and streaming their music. They also purchase luxury gifts, pay hefty sums for one-on-one chats, and commission ‘Happy Birthday’ or ‘Anniversary’ ads.
Interestingly, this dynamic is predominantly observed in relationships between female fans and male idols. The power dynamics between men and women within the K-pop ecosystem are clearly asymmetrical.
Some female fans end up taking credit card loans, ruining their financial health, and follow their idol everywhere, not having a life of their own.
And then, what do you have after all? If you were that passionate about, let’s say, your career, learning languages, or sports, it would enrich your life over the years. However, spending loads of money on loving K-pop idols doesn’t leave you with any lasting value in your life.
Blindly loving your K-pop idol means placing him as the leading role in your life, while you are merely an extra.
4. Escape the Otaku culture
I lived in Japan for 15 years and still can’t really get used to how they portray women in the media.
They treat women horribly on national TV, calling them fat and ugly, with male comedians bragging about having affairs with multiple mistresses and even ranking women based on their appearances — the list goes on.
So, this is how they treat women on mainstream television; you can imagine what it’s like in subcultures. There are often portrayals of women being sexually abused in very diverse and creatively disturbing ways.
The term ‘Otaku’ originally meant an enthusiast for a certain subject, but these days, it particularly indicates fans who are deeply into subcultures, including animations and cartoons, often centered around communities like Akihabara.
It has influenced many Asian countries, and the concept of ‘Otaku’ was imported to Korea too.
The problem is that most of the content is overly misogynistic, although some might argue that BL (Boys’ Love — gay romance including pornographic details) is empowering for females by not objectifying women.
However, it’s hard to see how it can be beneficial to women’s lives when they are watching two boys in an endlessly replicated abusive relationship that mirrors the dynamics already present between men and women.
Devotees spend a lot of time and money buying related products, attending events, and even creating secondary fan fiction. Similar to the K-pop idol issue, hardcore Otakus often end up taking out credit card loans and can’t really live their own lives.
Their life goal becomes following the subject, worshipping certain creators or even fictional characters, to avoid investing in their own lives.
The 4T movement emerged in response to a deeply ingrained misogynistic culture that often expects women to neglect their own needs in favor of supporting others.
This aligns with feminism 101: every woman should see herself as a human being, not merely as an object or an instrument.
Escape from what prevents you from being the leading role in your own life. Be inspired by the example set by South Korean women.
