Kindness and Kyriarchy
A Follow-up to “I Resent You”
--
Yesterday, I publicly expressed to Shanley Kane that I resented her for the way she treated me in recent conversations about Gittip, the platform I’m building and sharing freely, of which she’s been a top user. She responded by closing her Gittip account.
This has generated a good deal of discussion, and there are a couple themes I wanted to respond to.
First things first: be kind to Shanley! If you are using this as an opportunity to harass Shanley, you’re completely missing the point and you’re doing everything wrong. Go back and look at how I tried to treat Shanley with respect and kindness even when she dumped a steaming ton of crap on me. Do the same. Shanley’s bad behavior does not make your abuse of her okay. Let’s all keep trying to be kind to each other! :D
Second, to those who are planning to follow Shanley in leaving Gittip, especially Ashe Dryden: I’ll do whatever I can to help you transfer your tips somewhere else. There’s been some talk of forking Gittip. I’ll help with that, too, if my help is needed. Let me know what you need from me.
Shanley and I are engaged in fundamentally different projects. Shanley is leading “a fucking class war,” and I’m trying “to enable an economy of gratitude, generosity, and love.” Shanley is trying to smash the kyriarchy, and I’m trying to build something that makes the kyriarchy irrelevant, if I can. I was never going to be able to unequivocally buy into her project, and it seems that she is unable to see herself participating in mine.
