I am Awake | BUHUB Contest
An Awakening Experience on the Eve of Christmas
A cosmic connection to the greater soul
“If someone comes along and shoots an arrow into your heart, it’s fruitless to stand there and yell at the person. It would be much better to turn your attention to the fact that there’s an arrow in your heart…”
― Pema Chödrön
One day in winter about the time of Christmas, I was meditating early in the morning when suddenly I found something giving way in my brain as if a new aperture had food and I felt an energy rising up from my spinal cord.
At first, I was terrified and my attention went to this sensation caused by this eternal energy.
The moment my sensation went towards it, the vision ceased; then again concentrated and ultimately, I managed to keep my attention at the crown of my head.
The energy rose upward and upward through the spinal cord to the neck and down into the brain, and I suddenly found that a stream of silvery light was pulling me into my brain.
There was a sound like thunder or lightning or waterfall in my ears and the noise grew louder and louder and louder. At the same time I began to expand.
Complete undoing is necessary for a seed to reach its full potential. Everything shifts as the shell splits open, revealing its inner workings. It would appear like total devastation to someone who doesn’t comprehend growth and evolution.
I cannot describe to you exactly what I mean by this but it seemed that my consciousness was now gaining a wider and wider space and I was leaving my body behind and projecting myself, spreading myself all around in the universe.
The body grew dimmer and dimmer, and I could hardly hear any noises coming from the street. I remain totally engrossed in the vision that was now unfolding before me it was the vision of a silvery luster living vibrant with consciousness but spread all around me.
I seemed to become like a point of awareness watching this great personality that had now developed this great intelligence which seemed to encompass the whole universe like a small cork floating in an ocean aware of the whole surface of the ocean itself.
It was almost a condition I felt as if I was a small point of awareness floating in an ocean of consciousness, aware of it in every point of the compass. I felt myself expanding and expanding and this expansion was also attended by happiness which it is not possible to describe.
I felt in a state of jubilation happiness and elation which I had never experienced in my life before. That time it was an incredible spectacle and I was completely baffled as to what had happened to me but I continued to sit and to contemplate this vision with all the power of my attention.
In fact, it was not I, but the vision drew me to it. I was fascinated. My whole attention was attracted as if as an iron filing is attracted by a magnet. I could not withdraw my mind out of it.
“Awakening is not a thing. It is not a goal, not a concept. It is not something to be attained. It is a metamorphosis. If the caterpillar thinks about the butterfly it is to become, saying ‘And then I shall have wings and antennae,’ there will never be a butterfly. The caterpillar must accept its own disappearance in its transformation. When the marvelous butterfly takes wing, nothing of the caterpillar remains.”
― Alejandro Jodorowsky
Treasures have been turning up in areas I didn’t want to look. I had been hearing knowledge spoken in languages I did not wish to hear. Wherever I was reluctant to look, beauty has been there. And trips I didn’t want to embark on have taught me a lot.
Thank you, O Merciful One; I have been shutting down my vision and hearing for far too long. I now realize that the reason miracles are named such is that they are frequently experienced by those who are able to see past all of life’s delusion. I’m prepared to relish all the unsightly fruit instead of the perfectly formed, luscious fruit and to discover what’s truly behind the blinds.
I remained contemplating the vision for some time. Finally the circle of light grew narrower and narrower. It began to contract and I who had now expanded immensely began to feel myself contracting.
The ‘I’ became again narrower and narrower until all of a sudden I found myself in the body and again was conscious of the flesh and of the sounds in the street, and also the light was now pouring into the room.
Only one thing describes you. You are a supremely divine soul. An omnipotent Designer. There is divine creative energy from all that has ever been, all that is to be, and all that will be within you; you are the divine in denim and a tee.
It was a great awakening moment for me in my life.
One incident might awaken a stranger in us that we have never met. Living is indeed being born slowly to our consecutive incarnations.
The day I was conceived when I pondered, “What is it?”
What was it?
Also, what if?
The moment my ego collapsed brought about a transformation in me, and all the shallow tangible elements that had previously been significant to me inexplicably stopped to be as significant.
I was truly born.
The day I ceased to be concerned with the opinions of others, and instead focused solely on my own aspirations to transform the world.
This piece is written for the purpose of spreading awareness, wisdom, and compassion through writing and awakening our inner conscience. Thanks Emy for this lovely invitation.
