5 “Rotten” Movies That Taste Fresh to Me
Rotten Tomatoes declared these films past their sell-by dates, but for me, there’s a lot of flavor worth savoring
The aggregate and I have never been on good terms. I find the whole concept of distilling a limited pool of voices into a number as a way to establish some sort of “definitive” statement on a work of human creativity reductive to exploring what is ultimately a personal matter.
That’s not to say I don’t understand the usefulness of the aggregate — after all, there’s only so much free time any of us have, and watching a movie is an investment. With infinite options at our fingertips, thanks to streaming services, being able to check the Rotten Tomatoes score is a whole lot faster than looking up individual reviews when trying to make a choice. But, at the end of the day, an aggregate like Rotten Tomatoes can’t really tell you anything about a film. You’ve got to filter it through your own perceptions. Art is subjective, after all —no matter what our analytics-obsessed dystopia says otherwise.
Besides, the world would be a terribly boring place if we all just took our cues from the numbers; one of my favorite things is having conversations with friends and family about movies, music, etc., where we don’t always see eye-to-eye. What works for me might not work for thee, and it’s something I’m eternally fascinated by and keen to explore.
(Shout-out to Valentina Eve — check out her stuff, it’s great— who inspired me to write this after reading her story, “5 Classic Sci-Fi Films I Just Can’t Get Enough Of”, wherein she brought up the largely-maligned Star Wars prequels and how they spoke to her.)
Alrighty, with the ranting and (positive) raving out of the way, let’s jump into it: Here are 5 “rotten” movies that taste fresh to me. Enjoy!
Resident Evil (2002) | RT Score: 35%
When a secret research facility deep beneath the streets of Raccoon City goes dark, a team of corporate commandos is dispatched to investigate. Before long, they’re fighting for survival against a rogue AI and a deadly mutagenic virus capable of turning men into monsters.
Even if this movie wasn’t based on Capcom’s Resident Evil video game franchise (one of my all-time favorites), I would still love it because it’s such a cool movie. I mean, come on, there’s a giant animatronic monster for crying out loud. Not to mention the vicious atmosphere; the sets ooze personality, whether it’s the cold, sterile environs of the Hive labs or the dripping, grime-encrusted tunnels of the sewers.
I’m a big fan of tactile when it comes to films. Character, too — and while Resident Evil boasts a roster of admittedly shallow dimensions, it’s the performances from the cast that really bring it home for me. Everyone feels lived-in, charged with an all-too-human desperation and fear as they fight to survive against horrific odds. They feel relatable and sympathetic in ways that echo genre favorites like Alien (1979) or John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982), operating on a human level later installments in Anderson’s franchise would struggle with. (Kaplan’s scene in the sewers tightens the chest every time).
And while it may not boast a single character from the games, it still feels like it comes from the world of Resident Evil, with its claustrophobic camera angles and hybridization of science-fiction, action, and horror. I’ve always been intrigued by the Umbrella Corporation’s shadowy military units in the games, so the decision to make them the focal characters was an inspired one for me.
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016) | RT Score: 29%
After witnessing Superman’s devastating battle in Metropolis, a broken and embittered Batman sets off on a violent crusade to destroy the Son of Krypton.
I absolutely love this movie. From the grand, operatic framework; thoughtful, multi-layered examinations of its characters; thematic investigations; mesmerizing comic book action; and poignant social commentary that our current times have only reinforced since its release in 2016, it’s a film that resonates with me in a way few superhero films have before or after.
Whereas I struggled with Man of Steel’s sense of conflicting identity, Batman v Superman fully actualized Snyder’s mythic, maximal vision for the world of DC and his exploration of godhood, mortality, and hope as distilled through a world colored by cynicism and distrust is potent and genuine stuff that strikes the chords of my storyteller’s heart. It balances bombast and introspection with aplomb while delivering committed performances across the board within a story rich in theme and tone; in short, it’s everything I love about the grandiosity of storytelling — and comics — rolled into one.
The Accountant (2016) | RT Score: 52%
Christian Wolff, an accountant who uncooks the books for criminal organizations, finds himself the target of shadowy hitmen when he unearths an embezzlement scheme while auditing a robotics firm.
There are plenty of great action films; The Accountant, however, is easily one of the most important. Its depiction of autism via Ben Affleck’s portrayal of the gifted yet troubled Wolff is nuanced and tender and delivered with integrity so often forsaken in mainstream films, where neurodivergent conditions are used as “flavoring” for characters — coding them as quirky, entertaining “others” fit for consumption by a presumed neurotypical audience whose experiences with elements like autism maybe begins and ends with the big screen.
To see it portrayed so honestly harkened to my own experiences living alongside a family member with high-functioning autism, and it struck me in ways touching and profound; whole conversations felt lifted from personal talks. So moved was I that upon leaving the theater after my initial viewing, I pressed my parents to see it — specifically, my mom, who has been a massive advocate for autism and neurodivergent awareness within and without our family. The fact that it boasts gripping action, strong performances, and an entertaining story feel like bonuses by comparison.
Underworld (2003) | RT Score: 31%
Selene, a vampire death-dealer, has waged war against the lycans for centuries, fueled by vengeance. But, when she meets Michael, a human infected by a Lycan, all that she’s ever known is called into question.
I’m not one to say “back in my day” without a surefire injection of irony, but I swear, there’s something about modest-budget genre films from the 2000s that just hit for me. With a price point of $22 million, Underworld ain’t no MCU, DC, or Fast & Furious juggernaut… and yet, it absolutely drips with atmosphere in a way so many of its bigger budget-endowed kin fail to achieve.
It’s dirty, dark, dreary, dunked in a healthy amount of dystopia, and soaked in copious amounts of rain; all things I find irresistible. The practical effects and werewolf transformations are sick as hell, while the science-fantasy technology — sunlight bullets, anyone? — is such a fun look at how these two eternal species’ war has evolved over centuries. The mythology underpinning the war between the vampires and lycans is rich and engaging, while the characters are fun in ways that mesh perfectly with the movie’s intentions. As someone who couldn’t get into the YA-flavored craze of Twilight and its ilk, Underworld proved the perfect antidote for my action-hungry, burgeoning goth soul.
Rambo (2008) | RT Score: 37%
When a group of missionaries on a relief mission in Burma are kidnapped by the local military, John Rambo is forced from his self-imposed isolation and back into the world of violence he’d hoped to leave behind.
There’s rarely been an action movie to make so powerful a statement with its violence as Rambo; its horrific depiction of the genocide conducted by the Burmese military against local villagers is unflinching in its barbaric cruelty… which makes the retribution visited upon the perpetrators by Rambo and his mercenary cohorts all the more potent and cathartic.
Stallone is particularly dialed-in, delivering a vicious physical statement that hammers home the character’s tortured, oft-overlooked complexity as a man forced to face a terrible truth: He can never undo the horrors his country inflicted on him and never escape the killer they turned him into. It’s a story whose simplicities mask deeper layers, executed with the kind of lethal intention most other films never come close to achieving if ever they thought to achieve it at all.
And Those Are My Picks!
What about you? If you’ve got any movies where the numbers just don’t add up to how you feel, let me know in the comments! Who knows — maybe you’ve got a pick or two that will have me reconsidering them in a new light, and vice-versa!
