My Ritual of Teaming Up With My Inner Critic
Making the shift smoother from the survivor brain to the sage brain
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
— Sharon Salzberg
Oftentimes, it has happened to me to feel like I am handling my day well to catch myself or better said my inner critic taking space slowly but surely in my thoughts processes, and before I know it, my mood starts changing. And that gets reflected in my interactions with others as well.
Throughout the years I have learned not to identify myself with my inner critic. During my meditation practices or therapy training, I started becoming more self-aware of this nagging voice that would sabotage me whenever I thought I was able to get to the next level in my life. Self-awareness is definitely not something that has come out of the blue and is a constant daily practice. It’s like showing. Unless I do it daily, it doesn’t last.
I have come to accept my inner critic as a part of myself that it’s just trying to protect me in its own way. I know it’s not malicious but it's acting more like a protector, ‘saving me’ from being hurt if I stepped out of my comfort zone.
Some people call it ‘the judge’. Positive Intelligence approach suggests that in order to disempower it, we should label it and then observe it.
“We should strengthen our “sage brain,” consciously shifting our activity from our “survivor brain” (which encompasses the brain stem, limbic system, and amygdala regions) to the middle prefrontal cortex, the empathy circuitry, and our right brain.”
— Shirzad Chamine
Making the shift from the survivor brain to the sage brain is really empowering. It helps us see things from a different perspective.
I have come across the idea of shushing one’s inner critic, but for me, personally, silencing it has not really worked. Instead, I like the idea of soothing this little voice, comforting it, and doing a bit of detective work, inquiring why is it there. Teaming up with it, working together towards the same goal instead of battling each other all the time.
I personally enjoy grounding and breathing exercises or activities I like to call rituals that put me in a state of flow such as writing, painting, and spending time with my pets.
They work because they take me out of my head, anchor me in my body and the present moment, allow me to empathize with myself and others, and reconnect me with my Higher Self.
I like the idea of having rituals for certain things in my life- they make me feel more connected to myself as well as help me take a step back to recalibrate and recoup. They mark endings as well as new beginnings. Rituals help me become more mindful of the activity I am doing.
So how what is my ritual for teaming up with my inner critic?
- If possible, I like to go out into nature, I feel like it helps a lot in shifting the energies. If not, I find a quiet space at home where I won’t be disturbed.
- I take the visual representation of my inner critic with me that I have previously drawn on paper and try to understand why it suddenly popped up and why and what was it trying to protect me from. I usually give it a name depending on which emotion it represents.
- After understanding its reasons, I forgive that part that was trying to protect me at the time. This is one of my favorite forgiveness notes I like to use by Colin Tipping:
“I completely forgive __________________ for I now realize that you did nothing wrong and that everything is in Divine order. I acknowledge, accept, and love you unconditionally just the way you are. I recognize that I am a spiritual being having a human experience, and I love and support myself in every aspect of my humanness.”
- I then like to visualize my Higher Self and speak to it to learn how to accept, empathize with, and love myself more.
Side note: If you don’t resonate with the idea of having a Higher Self perhaps you could think of it as your ideal self, that version of you that already embodies all the aspects you want to integrate.
- I accept the things that are not in my control and release the importance I place on a particular outcome.
- I allow myself a few moments to grieve if things didn’t go as planned and then try to reframe the situation to see an advantage in it and the lessons I can take away from them.
- The mantra I use for self-soothing is “I am allowed to make mistakes and learn from them” or “I am only human, I am doing the best that I can at the moment and that is all I can do.”
At the end of it, I either do some journaling or take a nap. I found that for me sleep has very healing and restorative properties apart from the overall restfulness I get out of it.
Final thoughts
I also like engaging with others at the end of my self-reflection exercise and seeing how I can better be there for them- we are social beings and thus all our inner work is best reflected in the way we relate to others.
This ritual really helps me shift my perspective as well as address my emotional wounds and heal them in the best way I can. Hope it can help you too. Please feel free to adapt it any way you feel like it would better work for you!
That being said, I would love to know how you deal with your inner critic. If you have any tips, please feel free to share!
Thank you for reading, I appreciate you!
If you liked this article, you might also enjoy reading my other articles on similar topics:
Much love!❤️
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