SELF-IMPROVEMENT
What I’ve Learnt From the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Begin with the end in mind is definitely one of my favorites.
Stephen R. Covey has been one of my favorite authors ever since I got into my self-development journey, around ten years ago. He is one of the authors I like to go back to and revisit whenever I feel like I need a good motivational shower.
As I read Stephen R. Covey’s book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People the other day, and since this is one of my all-time favorite books, I wanted to share it with you here in the hope you might find something useful amongst the habits listed down below.
If you are already familiar with them, it will be a great touch-up for you, and if you aren’t I trust you can find at least one habit you resonate with which you might like to incorporate into your routine.
So, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People:
- Being proactive
2. Begin with the end in mind
3. Put first things first
4. Think win-win
5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood
6. Synergize
7. Sharpening the saw
1. Being proactive
This habit is about taking control of your life and taking responsibility for any actions or thoughts you might have that prevent you from being successful instead of blaming others.
I believe it’s worth mentioning here the concept of Circle of concern vs Circle of influence. The circle of influence refers to those things that you can change, and the circle of concern deals with things you can’t.
Establishing which things are in our control and which aren’t can lower our stress levels, and our frustration and increase our openness, willingness, and flexibility to adapt to change.
Reactive people use their energy on matters in the circle of concern; things they can’t do anything about.
2. Begin with the end in mind
I have definitely resonated with this one because I have been doing it for quite a while now. Having an end goal in mind that I can picture and embody that feeling of satisfaction that comes along with it has definitely been a game-changer to me.
There is an exercise I did in my therapy training called writing your obituary- I actually wrote an article about it, you can find it here. This exercise is based on the following questions: If you were to imagine yourself being at your own funeral, where people would do speeches about you, what would you like them to say about you? What kind of person, values, or behavior would you like to be mentioned?
Of course, this can be applied in other areas and stages of your life as well. For instance, before an interview, you can already imagine yourself having received that position. What would you do in that new position? How would you feel? How would you act?
3. Put first things first
Once you have worked on your mindset by making it more flexible, the next step is the prioritization of tasks.
Time management is something very important you should consider in your daily activities. I personally love synching my appointments on both my Google and phone calendar for better accuracy on a daily basis.
And I also like using the Importance vs urgency matrix which helps me divide my tasks into 4 different quadrants. This way, I feel like I have a better overview of my week’s tasks and priorities, providing me with more clarity of mind.
I have also learned to delegate and ask for help more. I used to believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness but now I have actually come to realize it is more of bravery.
4. Think win-win
For a long time, whenever I wanted something, whether it was an actual thing or just proving my worth from a place of not feeling good enough, I would find myself getting into the power-struggle type of conversations with others. As I have grown older and have done more inner work, I have come to realize that a win-win situation is actually most desired by all parties involved and that integrity, maturity, and confidence can take one a long way.
So, instead of being self-centered and thinking of only how it could benefit me, I now think of a way the other person can gain something out of it as well.
5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood
“You have to build the skills of empathic listening on a base of character that inspires openness and trust.” — Stephen Covey
Active listening is definitely something I have been working on for the longest time. We live in a society where everyone wants to express their opinion and although this is, of course, a great thing to do, sometimes we tend to neglect listening to what others say.
Before jumping in with a piece of advice, we should first take into consideration that person’s need to be listened to.
So, when you are engaged in a conversation, make sure you use your active listening skills, showing support and empathy, sometimes just with a nod.
6. Synergize
Synergy is the accumulation of the previously listed habits. The real essence of synergy is valuing the differences — the mental, emotional, and psychological differences between people.
Adopting a growth mindset and being more open to people’s opinions that were different from mine has allowed me to embrace new points of view and broaden my perspective.
By not being so quick to dismiss others’ beliefs, I learned that some of them can actually be valuable tools in our development.
When we are more open to seeing what others have to say and offer, we are able to rewrite old scripts and grow together in a more harmonious and fluid way.
7. Sharpen the Saw
The sentence ‘you are your own greatest asset’ has been reverberating in my mind ever since I first read it, around 10 years ago. It took me a while to wrap my mind around it and understand that every new skill I developed, every new book I read, or every new class I took was actually an investment in myself. Investing in your wellbeing by just taking a day or an afternoon off to relax and recoup.
There are four dimensions that should be taken into consideration here:
Physical Dimension: eating well, exercising, relaxation
Spiritual Dimension: prayer, meditation, nature walks
Mental Dimension: mental hygiene by limiting one’s exposure to news and social media, learning and developing new skills
Social/Emotional Dimension: developing and maintaining meaningful relationships
Takeaways
- Being proactive: is about taking control of your life and taking responsibility for any actions or thoughts you might have that prevent you from being successful instead of blaming others.
- Begin with the end in mind: having an end goal in mind that you can picture and embody can put you on the right track to achieving your dream
- Put first things first: prioritization of tasks is important for good time management
- Think win-win: instead of being self-centered and thinking of only how it could benefit you, think of a way the other person can gain something out of it as well.
- Seek first to understand, then to be understood: when you are engaged in a conversation, make sure you use your active listening skills, showing support and empathy
- Synergize: embracing and valuing the differences — the mental, emotional, and psychological differences between people.
- Sharping the saw: you are your own greatest asset, never stop investing in the physical, mental, spiritual, and social areas of your life.
I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes by Stephen Covey which goes like this:
“The more we see people in terms of their unseen potential, the more we can use our imagination rather than our memory.” Stephen Covey
I would love to know if you have read the book and if so, what are the key takeaways you got from it or what your favorite habit is.
Thank you very much for reading! I appreciate you!
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