We are all pre-billionaires, so be happy!
While we’re often too busy to call them up, our media and welfare offices keep reminding us that our world has a growing number of very rich, very friendly people — just starving for a big “Howdy”. There they are, dripping with ample advice and fancy pool water, and we don’t even give them a call! It’s like we forgot how to be social!
But good news! We are all on our way to joining those lofty ranks and relaxing, cheek by jowl, with our rich future friends.
Because just when you thought that hedge funds have trickled up every possible dollar, clever fund managers are finding new and newly-legal ways to wrangle the loose change up from us working folks. It’s very encouraging!
So with the ranks of billionaires continuing to grow, us regular folks need to hang in there and wait for our turn. Sure, we might have to work really long hours and multiple service sector jobs, but pretty soon we are going to catch our big wave up! Yes, sirree! We are soon going to fly up past those maxed out credit cards, through the heady realm of debt-free bliss, to that most glorious and serene income level: the billionaire! What a sweet time that is going to be!
Surrounded by our very rich, super happy friends, being served by other, very rich, super happy waiters and drivers (“chafers”?), we are going to rock the lazy pool of comfort 24/7. All our friends and family are going to be there, hanging with us, and texting those last few buddies who haven’t quite made the jump out of tax land.
And our high flying travel plan? We’re going to ride the small business rocket sleds of commerce, up from the humble but exciting beginnings of underfunded, seat-of-the-pants start-ups, past the rock-em-sock-em challenges of competing with big box stores, corporations and global labor, right to the top!
We are going to find that one little niche (maybe even a micro-niche!) that no-one’s got locked down yet and sail on up and out of debt. Ya, baby!
We thought we had it pretty good when labor laws and taxing the rich were working for us! Old school! Now we’re working for ourselves! You ain’t seen nothing until you’re getting calls from already-rich people’s lawyers, saying you’ve infringed on one hard to explain thing or another, and telling them: “Stand back, lawyer guy. I am on my way up!”
We’ve got to feel so indebted to this nation’s politicians, think tankers, radio dynamos and super-friendly already-rich folks for pointing out this better way for the little guy. Who needs unions? We’re on the Right side now, and that means we don’t need any handouts, wage protection or special treatment. We just need to free up our future, and transform our rag-tag fleet of small businesses into super-sized, all-in battleships of happy prosperity.
Imagine — the whole bunch of us: billionaires! It is going to be so unbelievable!
From: Just a Bit Different
