Week 134: Sharing Life
It isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth it…
Each Sunday, my wife and I cook and eat a meal together — intentionally. Every Friday, I’ll be sharing our experience here in this space. I want to see the growth that will come in our marriage because of this. I hope you enjoy our story. You can find last week’s post here.
My wife is a genius. It’s as simple as that. Sarah shows this in new ways every day. Whether it’s in the form of her rocking it at her day job, keeping things in order at home (since I am *not* a details person) or coming up with creative recipes on Sunday, Sarah comes up with fresh solutions to problems all the time. Part of this is her personality — it’s easy for her to see what’s wrong with the things around her. I tend to be more “happy-go-lucky.” One isn’t better than the other — they’re just different approaches. The advantage of Sarah’s is that she sees issues ahead of time and starts crafting solutions.
One thing I’ve learned in our marriage is that too often I think my approach is better. Sarah will see an issue and I’ll automatically minimize it. To me, it’s just something to “let happen” or “not worry about.” But to Sarah, it’s an issue that needs to be dealt with. More often than not, she has a solution and she doesn’t need me to offer my opinion. She just needs a listening ear and a set of hands who are willing to help.
This Sunday, the issue was that we needed a recipe.
I began rattling off various ingredients, and I noticed that Sarah was starting to get upset. I was perplexed; I had only been trying to help. But that’s just it, Sarah was already working through it, she just needed me to listen.
Suddenly, she thought of a recipe that her Aunt Rosemary had told her about. Blueberry yogurt cookies. Except, these aren’t your average cookies. No baking needed. You just put together the ingredients, stick them in the freezer and, voila! You have cookies.
I went to the store and did the grocery shopping while Sarah prepped our kitchen back home. You see, this is where I’m in my element. Give me marching orders and I’ll carry out the plan no problem. Like I said, I’m not a details person. I like being given a job, then I’ll go do it. Even if I have to figure out solutions along the way, that’s fine. I’m just not great at getting the process started all the time.
When I got home, we began putting all our ingredients in a large mixing bowl. Yogurt, blueberries and almonds — pretty easy, right? After some mixing, they were ready. Sarah dolloped spoonfuls onto a cookie sheet, and it went in the freezer. After a while (see, I don’t even remember how long they went in for — details) we pulled them out and tried a bite.
Not quite rock solid, but pretty close.
After they thawed a bit, though, they were delicious. Just a little patience — that was the last ingredient.
Sharing
The next day, we had friends over and had them try the cookies. They loved them! It’s always special to be able to share something that Sarah and I worked on together with people we love.
Sharing — we’re taught it from a young age. It’s not our natural bent, otherwise we wouldn’t need to be taught. Why is something that’s so good so difficult for us? I mean, it’s one thing when you’re trying to share toys with your brother. But what about when you attempt to share a life with someone? Things become messy. They’re uneven. Not always easy.
You have to merge perspectives and approaches.
But even the hard moments are an act of sharing, aren’t they? Even the fights and the outbursts. Even the pain and the tears. That’s what they gloss over in the movies. Oh, you hear “for better or worse” but rarely do you see what true sharing looks like.
That’s because it’s selfless and caring.
It’s about putting your perspectives aside…willingly. Looking out for the good of your partner. Acknowledging that they don’t need you in some situations. All you need to do is listen. Or maybe they do need you and you still just need to listen. Or maybe they do need you and they need you to do something.
The only way to decipher the difference between all those is to share. Share life. That’s the best kind of sharing, I think.
Anyways, I love blueberries. They’re one of my favorite foods. So I thoroughly enjoyed sharing these yogurt cookies with my beautiful wife on that Sunday evening. We sat in our house. Together. Life was good. Life is good. Why?
Because we share it.
