Week 17: Steak and Laundry
The sizzle, dirty clothes, and going to work…
Each Sunday, my wife and I prepare, cook and eat a meal together — intentionally. Every Friday, I’ll be sharing our experience here in this space. I want to see the growth that will come in our marriage because of this. I hope you enjoy our story. You can find last week’s post here.
You hear it from married couples all the time — “It’s really hard work.” They say you’ll fight. They say you’ll get on each other’s nerves. They say there will be times when you won’t want to be in the same room. But you don’t really get it until…
…well, until you live it.
Here we were, my wife and I in the midst of another argument. Tensions were high. We were both frustrated. Does it happen every day? No, but it does happen. Neither one of us felt like we were being heard. It’s not a good feeling.
On top of this, we were about ready to prepare our dinner together since it happened to be Sunday. There had been a lot of build up to this particular meal. We both had big expections for it. Why? Well, we were cooking a meal that we both love but had never cooked together before — steak.
To be honest, I don’t even remember what the fight was about. That’s how silly our arguments can be sometimes. Though I’ve only experienced 10 months of marriage so far, I can certainly attest that it’s hard work.
Sssssssssssssss…
That legendary sound sprang from the cast iron skillet as my wife pan seared a delicious-looking cut of steak. The potatoes were roasting in the oven while the sweet corn was just waiting in buttery goodness for the microwave door to open. This meal was about to be on point. Sarah added on the steak seasoning and my mouth became Niagra Falls.
She flipped the steaks every minute, just like Gordon Ramsey told her to. They were almost ready, and I could hardly bear it. Patience has never been MY virtue.
Finally, I was sitting at the table with my wife, a juicy steak staring me straight in the face. I bit into it. It was as if each specific flavor was making the performance of a lifetime. Like the life calling of those specks of garlic salt was to make that one night spectacular. They played their part with aplomb. I was in awe. Try it yourself by checking out the recipe Sarah used.
We found ourselves back in the kitchen. A basket of laundry sat quietly by the washer. Straight from cooking to cleaning — that’s the apartment life. I can’t take any credit there. My wife keeps on top of the household chores. I try to help out where I can, but she is so good at it that by the time I’m home, it’s usually all done.
This particular night, we were doing the laundry for the upcoming week. Everything was going along normally when my wife said something profound.
“There wasn’t as much dirty laundry as I thought there would be.”
What a great marriage lesson. I was struck by the significance instantly. Here I was a few hours earlier, upset about some way I felt I had been slighted. It seemed so important to me at the time. Now I don’t even remember what the argument was about.
My wife had looked at the laundry and thought there was a mountain of dirty clothes. But, when she entered into the situation, she realized it wasn’t so bad.
Many times, I stand on the outside of situations and let self-pity and ego tell me what I see. But whenever I step into the situation and attend to the feelings of others (especially my wife), I notice it for what it truly is. Whether it’s something at work or an argument with my wife, I can’t look at it from just one perspective.
This wasn’t the first time and surely won’t be the last time that I learned an important life lesson from my wife. She is so wise and she pushes me to be better. Yes, marriage is hard work. But there’s no one I’d rather go to work with.
Sarah, you’re the love of my life. I don’t remember what the argument was about, but it doesn’t matter. What matters is that I’m going to start doing the laundry before I label it a mountain. I’m going to help cook the steaks and be by your side when we enjoy the sizzle and the flavor. Both of those were metaphors, but I also promise to help out with the cooking and the laundry more often. I love you. :)
