You Are Not Your Environment

I recently wrote about facilitating a leadership academy in Colorado and how the environment changed my behavior. The people I was with, the mindset of all involved, and the lack of distractions allowed me to reach a level of performance I rarely have before. I felt on top of the world.

But I also left Colorado scared. I knew I was going back to the same environment I had left — the environment that had forged many of the habits I was unhappy with before I left. I wanted to know how to overcome this environment — how to separate my own behaviors from the influence of the unavoidable distractions around me.

So, I did a deep dive. I scoured the internet for every piece of insight I could find from people way way smarter than me. Here is the best of what I discovered.

Think internal. Fight external.

When I began research for this article, I came across this line from Gregory Ciotti’s Sparring Mind — a newsletter with more than 20,000 subscribers, just a few more than us (he’s smarter than me). “We are more reliant on environmental triggers than we’d like to think.” Simple. And true.

But I realized this insight goes a step farther. By default, nearly every external stimulus we experience pushes us towards negative behaviors. And nearly all positive behaviors we pursue are the result of internal stimuli.

When you are working on an important deadline and you receive a Snapchat, or when you are at work and your peers start bitching about the workplace culture and you join in, or when you are set to go to the gym and The Bachelorette is coming on — these are all external stimuli causing negative behaviors.

We inevitably live in a world full of distraction.

But what is driving you to meet that deadline, talk positively about work, and get your ass to the gym? Unless you have a best friend who is really really invested in your success, it’s you. It’s your own internal stimuli pushing you to do the right thing. Pushing you to build a better version of yourself.

Realizing this is empowering. If we can focus on our internal stimuli and how to set ourselves up to respond to those stimuli, we can overcome any negative, distraction-filled environment we face.

Stay present and mindful.

Part of listening to your internal stimuli involves simply remembering that they are there. Too often, we start out a day with good intentions and let it get hijacked by someone else’s needs, pointless distractions, or low-priority tasks. We need to take the time to remind ourselves to focus on our priorities, our goals, our needs.

There are plenty of tricks to accomplish this and we have covered several of them before. Meditation, preferably with the Headspace app (simply the best meditation app on the market), has amazing benefits to help us live in the moment.

Keeping a journal — writing down what you do each day and adding in 3 things you were grateful that day — helps as well.

And here’s a new practice to try. In a Sports Illustrated profile from last November, Sam Hinkie, former general manager of the NBA’s Philadelphia 76ers and well-known super nerd (way smarter than me), told of this life hack. He sets his Fitbit to vibrate every hour, on the hour, between 6 AM and 6 PM.

Why? It reminds him to reflect on the last hour. What did he accomplish? Did he stay on task? And then he takes 60 seconds and considers what he needs to focus on for the next hour to come.

Now, maybe once an hour is a bit much for you, but the purpose is apparent. Take time to remind yourself of what you set out to do throughout the day. Stay present and center yourself multiple times to avoid allowing your day to be taken over by distractions in your environment.

Form impactful habits.

Forming good habits helps to cut through the distractions in your day that keep you from chasing your goals with precise and purposeful action. But here’s the thing. We all try to form good habits every single day and too often we fail.

And much of what it takes to form habits is misunderstood. The whole, “it takes 21 days to form a habit” thing is a lie — a product of misinterpreted research and folks piggy-backing to sell books and articles and apps. There is actually no concrete period of time known to form a habit. It depends on the person.

I went next level to try and find some more in depth, research-backed ways to start and keep impactful habits.

Practice temptation bundling.

I first heard of temptation bundling listening to this Freakonomics podcast (again, keeping with the theme of stealing from people far smarter than I) and was so fascinated I read the original research paper by Katherine Milkman, Professor at UPenn.

The basic idea behind temptation bundling is pairing 2 activities — 1 you love to do but is, in the grand scheme of things, a waste of time and 1 you definitely should do but you often avoid — and doing them concurrently.

Examples: Only allow yourself to watch your favorite TV show when you are on the bike at the gym. Only allow yourself to go to your favorite lunch spot for some greasy goodness with the co-worker that annoys the hell out of you but you know you should check in on. Only allow yourself to listen to your favorite podcast while you meal prep for the week.

Say “I don’t.” Not “I can’t.”

The “I don’t” over “I can’t” rule is based on a study conducted at the University of Houston and Boston College and popularized by Mel Robbins (yes, smart people). In the study, 2 groups were told to exercise for 10 days straight. The first, when prompted to skip the gym, was instructed to say, “I can’t miss exercise.” The second was instructed to respond with, “I don’t miss exercise.” The first group exercised an average of 1 day. The second group? 8 days.

When we say, “I can’t,” we leave room for negotiation. We are telling ourselves that we really do want to, but we are restricting ourselves. However, when we say, “I don’t,” there is no room for negotiation. It is a part of ourselves. Something we do no matter what.

I don’t take more than 2 days to reply to an email. I don’t eat out on Thursday nights. I don’t spend 3 hours scrolling through puppy pictures on Instagram. (Don’t click on that link. It’s a distraction.)

Visualize the process. Not the results.

We all form habits for the reason of achieving some positive result. We eat healthily and go to the gym to look and feel a certain way. We work extremely hard at our job to achieve a level of professional success. We work to be a better partner to improve our relationship.

The problem with working towards an end result is that we tend to visualize that result. Turns out, that is a terrible thing to do. Based on, you guessed it, more research, and broken down nicely in this Forbes article, visualizing results actually tricks your brain into thinking you have already made progress towards a goal. It causes you to relax. To let your guard down.

Instead? Visualize the process. Know there are going to be struggles and stumbles and failures along the way. Think about what they will look like and how you will overcome them. If you visualize the process and fall in love with it, you can accomplish what you think you can’t.

Combating your environment is not easy. And this is simply 1 person’s take on what he believes to work. You need to find what works for you. Hopefully, this at least got you a bit closer. To sum up:

Recognize that you have everything necessary within you to overcome your environment and fight the external stimuli that cause distractions and move us towards negative behaviors.

Stay present and mindful so that you can focus on the internal stimuli driving you to take the steps you need to take.

Game the system with some tips and tricks to help you form good habits to cut through the distractions keeping you from achieving your greatest ambitions.

You create your environment. Your environment does not create you.