CAPSULE | READS: Leading With Questions

Key takeaways on: Becoming What We Ask, Leading With Questions & Reflective Questioning.

ON BECOMING WHAT WE ASK: We have to act ourselves into a new way of thinking rather than think ourselves into a new way of acting.

• We become what we ask about.
• Good problem-solving & decision-making starts with process, then content
  > Process questions focus on how the problem was solved or decisions made
  > Content questions ask how data is used to solve a problem
• To look for better answer we must be willing to suspend our current beliefs or positions

ON LEADING W/ QUESTIONS: The act of asking questions has a physiological effect on the brain as neurons make more connections because the body needs to deal with a question.

• Through question-asking, we realize who we are and what we have access to
• Lead by teaching
  > Ex: ‘What are you doing well?’
  ➡ I’ll give my sense of what you’re doing well & you tell me what you think you’re doing well.
• We become better problem solvers by being better problem identifiers

REFLECTIVE QUESTIONING: Giving answers to people’s problems sends a message that you don’t think they can do it themselves. ➡ Instead, become a facilitator to arrive at new ideas through thoughtful questioning.

• Learning is not possible without reflection and reflection comes from questions
• Courage includes the willingness to ask questions that might challenge. Break out of authority and into curiosity.
• Questions are intrinsically related to action ➡ spark + direct attention

The power of leading with questions = knowing when, where, why and how to ask questions.

Questions help questioners understand themselves. We realize who we are and what we have access to.

The ability to ask questions goes hand in hand with the ability to learn.

Valuable questions are those that encourage inward thinking.

Tailor questions to the individual you are talking to.

Recognize pattern thinkers versus detail thinkers.

Build on previous questions or on a response to the question.

The antidote to fear is courage | courage is always an act, not a thought | you act your way into courage.

• courage includes the willingness to ask questions that might challenge, break up courage patterns, to look for better answers we must be willing to give up our current beliefs or positions
• courage allows newness to emerge when it breaks apart and introduces new ways of thinking
• those that have the inability to ask questions have problems with their ego.
• it is a natural human tendency to push potentially unwelcome information away
• in leadership, we need to become more reflective; it’s easy to jump to answer instead of stopping to think and reflect

Poor Questions vs Empowering Questions

• Poor questions cause draining from the individual, therefore cause a reaction instead of creation.
  > disempowering questions decrease self-esteem & inhibit growth
  ➡ ‘why are you behind ___?’
  ➡ ‘what’s the problem with ___?’
  ➡ ‘who isn’t ___?’
• Empowering questions allow people to think and allow them to discover their own answers.
  > developing self responsibility and transference of ownership for results
  > build positive attitudes & self-esteem
  > recognize how they contribute to the whole
  > help develop alignment
  > enhance energy level by focusing on what is already working | support movement toward objectives
  ➡ ‘how do you feel about ___?’
  ➡ ‘what have you accomplished so far that you are most pleased with?’
  ➡ ‘how would you describe how you want this to turn out?’
  ➡ ‘what kind of support do you need to insure success?’

Root of Great Questions

1. cause the person to focus & stretch
2. create deep reflection
3. challenge assumptions that prevent people from acting in new ways
4. generate courageous strength
5. lead to breakthrough thinking
6. contain keys to open door to great solutions
7. enable people to better view situations
8. open doors in the mind and get people to think more deeply
9. test assumptions and cause exploration for people think about why they act in the way that they do & why they choose to take action
10. generate positive & powerful action

The better the question, the better the insight gained and solution obtained.

Learn to temper ambition with self-reflection.

Remain true to values to see the world + self clearly.

Questions challenge one’s programmed knowledge, while encouraging action + innovation.
> ?s transform problem and possibility talk into action as they move people from the present to the future
> ?s are the primary means by which doing, having, accomplishing and growing are catalyzed
> ?s are intrinsically related to action

Questions as a Tool to Search For Better Conclusions

By using questions as a dialogue instead of authority:

1. respond without judging thoughts, feelings, situations of others
2. consider yourself a beginner, regardless of experience
3. avoid focusing on your own role
4. look at situation from multiple perspectives
5. look for win/win solutions
6. be tolerant of self and others
7. ask clarifying questions
8. accept change as a constant & embrace it

Creating a Roadmap of Questions to Ask

• assess the landscape (horizon, contours, storms, sunny skies)
• discover core ?s (patterns in ?s, cluster the ?s)
• create images of possibilities (paint vivid images through ?s)
• evolve workable strategies (in response to compelling ?s)

➡ remove vagueness and ambiguity

➡ leading questions are NOT genuine empowerment ?s | move away from asking strings of ?s to eliminate the feeling of interrogation

➡ follow up questions enable deeper understanding of situations

➡ direct closed questions to clarify and end a conversation

Open Ended Questions vs Closed Ended Questions

• Open ended questions: high degree of freedom to respond | encourage idea expansion — to do the work of self-reflection | help people think analytically and reflectively | breadth & depth | challenge basic assumptions and explore possibility
  > analytical ?s examine causes not just symptoms | connecting ?s connect us to systems thinking perspectives | clarifying ?s help free us from ambiguity
  > consider asking WHY 5 times to get to the root of an issue. getting under the surfaces to get to a problem is essential for deeper understanding. there are no define right or wrong responses, but instead opens up the conversation and promotes curiosity
  
  > inquiring: ‘why did you do it in this way?’
  > confronting: ‘give an example of why you chose that route.’
  > exploring: ‘can you say more?’
  > challenging: ‘don’t you see another way?’
  > coaching: ‘what did you learn?’
  > re-orienting: ‘what’s actually the end result?’
  > summarizing: encapsulate the gist of what was said
• Close ended questions: short and specific questions that justify and defend a stance | focuses on fact | useful in beginning and end of conversations
  > ‘what?’
  > ‘when?’
  > ‘how many?’
  > ‘do you prefer A or B?’

Have a Convo Around 6 Discussion Points

Lay questions out and say what you expect so they know how to respond:

1. Where are we going?
   ➡ I’ll tell you where I think, you tell me where you think.
2. Where are you going?
   ➡ I’ll let you know where I think you should be going, and you tell me where you think you should go.
3. What are you doing well?
   ➡ I’ll give my sense of what you’re doing well, and you tell me what you think you’re doing well.
4. What suggestions for improvement do you have for yourself?
   ➡ *open-ended*
5. How can I help you?
   ➡ *open-ended*
6. What suggestions do you have for me?
   ➡ I’ll tell you what I think I need to do, and you tell me what you think I need to do.

Great Questions Should be Goal Oriented

• to call attention to a point
• to get information
• to uncover clauses or relationships
• to test ideas
• to keep discussion to the point
• to bring out opinions & attitudes
• to bring out reactions to point(s) made
• to suggest an action, idea or decision

Solving people’s problems sends a message that you don’t think they can do it themselves.

• many people have well-thought out answers to problems and just want to test them out with someone else
• instead, build relationships with people where asking questions to facilitate a thinking process in encouraged
  > questions in building relationships | learning > judging
  1. ‘How can I help you?’ — clarifies what person wants
  2. ‘What would you do?’ — find out how people respond
  3. ‘What would competitor do?’ — ask incisive ?s to inspire & search

GROW Model for leadership through effective questioning

Goals

Reality

Options for improvement

What will you commit to improve

We become what we ask about. The most successful people in life don’t get to the top because of what happens to them or what statements they make to others. They get to the top because of how they question what happens to them and the people & environment around them.

It is lonely to get to the future first; it entails a lot of responsibility. If leaders aren’t able to do it with courageous questions, that future might not occur.

Tomorrow’s problems require a different level of thinking.

Introducing Reads as a capsule in the Learn Segment. Each week for the remainder of the year, we’ll be extracting key takeaways and notes from 26 books read in 26 weeks as a practice to nourish learning. Join us in the (re)wiring!