The Black Knight
Big Data the Holy Grail
In Monty Python and the Holy Grail, King Arthur attempts to recruit the Black Knight to join his Knights of the Round Table. The scene is set when the Black Knight not only refuses, but bars Arthur’s way forward. What follows is a comedy of the absurd, or is it?
I have met far too many Black Knights in the Big Data world of corporate America. Analysts, both men and women, who are hell bent on defending their project, program, or product.
King Arthur: [after slicing one of the Black Knight’s arms off] Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
Black Knight: ’Tis but a scratch.
King Arthur: A scratch? Your arm’s off.
Black Knight: No it isn’t.
King Arthur: What’s that, then?
Black Knight: [after a pause] I’ve had worse.
King Arthur: You liar.
Black Knight: Come on ya pansy.
The scene with the Black Knight is by far one of the more gruesome in the Monty Python story. Unfortunately, that holds true for the stories of most Black Knight Analysts. Large corporations can be riddled with folks like this, stubbornly defending projects so deep in the red — they make this movies’ fight scenes look tame.
King Arthur: [after Arthur’s cut off both of the Black Knight’s arms] Look, you stupid bastard, you’ve got no arms left!
Black Knight: Yes I have.
King Arthur: Look!
Black Knight: It’s just a flesh wound.
Like Arthur’s opponent, corporate Black Knights are also left limbless and impotent. And while there is some honor in not being a quitter, there is a certain sadness in their fate.
[the Black Knight continues to threaten Arthur despite getting both his arms and one of his legs cut off]
Black Knight: Right, I’ll do you for that!
King Arthur: You’ll what?
Black Knight: Come here!
King Arthur: What are you gonna do, bleed on me?
Black Knight: I’m invincible!
King Arthur: …You’re a loony.
In the end, the Black Knight is easily dispatched. He is relegated to a single scene. In his stubbornness and denial, he has missed an opportunity and he is left to his fate. But true to his character — this is clearly lost on him…
[King Arthur has just cut the Black Knight’s last leg off]
Black Knight: All right, we’ll call it a draw.
