The Tale of King Arthur
Big Data the Holy Grail
In Monty Python’s tale, Arthur arrives on his high horse declaring himself to be King of the Britons. He is on a ‘Noble Quest’ for the Holy Grail and is looking to build a team to find it.
King Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England!
Guard: Pull the other one!
King Arthur: I am, and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
I have known many an Arthur and likely you have, too. They ride in with their degrees from noble institutions. They have been lauded some big title and have dreams of building a team and delivering on some grand promise…
Arthur, for his part, looks the role. He is clearly skilled in his craft (swordsmanship). He attracts talent, some better than others. And he is clearly dedicated to his cause.
But, alas, Arthur has no horse, something he seems blissfully unaware of.
Guard: What? Ridden on a horse?
King Arthur: Yes!
Guard: You’re using coconuts!
King Arthur: What?
Guard: You’ve got two empty halves of coconut and you’re bangin’ ’em together.
King Arthur: So?
His title fails to impress anyone and is often just a point of contention.
King Arthur: How do you do, good lady? I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Whose castle is that?
Woman: King of the who?
King Arthur: King of the Britons.
Woman: Who are the Britons?
King Arthur: Well, we all are. We are all Britons. And I am your king.
Woman: I didn’t know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.
He is hampered throughout his tale by equally oblivious (and often incompetent) advisers. Relationships continually fail him. Even Noble Patsy plays the role of an enabler. And so, the traits that most define Arthur are just too much to overcome.
The quest gains little traction and eventually ends rather abruptly. While certainly entertained, we are ultimately just left wanting.
The moral of Arthur’s tale might be best summarized by his most ardent antagonist…
Dennis the Peasant: You can’t expect to wield supreme power just ’cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
