Forget Dating an Aquarius; Get an Evolved Aquarian!
Your guide to the evolved Aquarius, and how dating one is better.
What Is an Evolved Aquarius?
To be an “evolved” version of a zodiac sign means to have done ‘the work’ on yourself in the way of going to therapy, group, having a personal coach, and or myriad of other self-improvement and personal development methodologies.
This work raises your emotional intelligence (EQ), allowing you to manifest and demonstrate more of the positive traits of your sign, versus the negative ones. Aquarians are often at the top of the list in “worst to date” or “hardest to understand” as we can be seen as distant, avoidant, hard to pin down, and shifty. I disagree wholly in that these lists are talking more about un-evolved Aquarians.
🥰 An evolved Aquarian is much better to date, and can be an amazing friend—our best traits become our superpowers, and our communication is second to none.
😱 An un-evolved Aquarian is like a 13 year old boy driving a monster truck on the freeway for the first time—still fun! But kind of messy.
Aloofness: Our ‘Worst Trait’ Is Our Most Misunderstood Trait
Being called “aloof” is the trait that triggers us the most in that it is our most misunderstood one.
Why do we come across as aloof, cool, distant? It’s because we are also massive over-thinkers—stuck in our head all the time. We are thinking of the 42,000 ways something can go. We analyze every little thing. We replay the tapes of past conversations endlessly.
When we overthink, analyze or replay tapes in our head, we concentrate on it with the power of the sun. And since our brain can only do one thing well at a time, you may see us distant because we are really going inward. When you try and hold a conversation or connect with us during this time, we may come across short, distant, and a bit emotionless. We are not present, and that is where the evolved Aquarian comes in.
Aloofness: How an Evolved Aquarian Is Better
An evolved Aquarian is someone that has learned how to be present in any situation. It’s not that we no longer overthink, but we now recognize that when we are with someone, we need to be present for them. There will be times we don’t do this well (because we are trying to save the world in our head!), but I can assure you that an evolved Aquarian is aware and will context switch fluidly. If they can’t switch for some reason, they will have the skills to communicate what they are feeling, and possibly tell you they need some space.
Independence: We Love You and Our Independent Ways
Aquarians love our independence more than most signs. This can crop up in everyone getting burgers for lunch, and we are the one with the taco. Or us taking solo experiences. Or not wanting to live together. And this can be confusing in a couple big ways:
- it may come across as emotionally distancing ourselves from you, or not interested in you
- it also may come across as not wanting to be part of the party
Again, neither of these are true, and get exacerbated with un-evolved Aquarians’ rough-cut behaviors. In fact, when an Aquarian is into you (or a situation), they are into you big time. Good luck getting rid of them. (We may still order the taco, though.)
This need for independence ties back to overthinking / analyzing, and our creativity. We need some time to think, to replay the tapes, or be creative without distractions. When we have interesting people around us, we can get caught up in them and distracted. And that means we can’t think, so we find that we need to distance ourselves a bit to concentrate.
So, getting a taco while you all get burgers is our way of asserting and reminding you of that independent streak in us. A little punk rock, a little nonconformist.
Independence: How an Evolved Aquarian Is Better
An evolved Aquarian has a better handle on their emotions, with a higher emotional intelligence (EQ) than the un-evolved. I have found that it is often our emotions that move us toward or away from people and things. For example, creativity is an emotional state of being for us, as we feel it deeply. When we feel the creative urge, it can really move us, just not always in the direction of other people.
An evolved Aquarian will move toward times of independence with grace and fluidity by having open and direct conversations with their friends or partner. This could look like “I need to do some self-care”, or “I’m going heads-down on this project.” An un-evolved one may lack the skills to communicate their needs and could just disappear on you, again, appearing as an avoidant. (And maybe they are an avoidant!)
We may still assert our independence through tacos (see above), or being the only one not drinking, or other ways.
Loyalty: Where the Confusion Really Sets In
Wait! You say you’re loyal, but you seem distant, sporadic and want all this independence… which is it??
This is why we get put on lists of ‘hardest to date’ and ‘makes terrible friends’. I get it—it can be confusing when dealing with the un-evolved, as they tend to not communicate very well.
Our independent nature can be expressed in ways that appears that we are not loyal—something the un-evolved really need to work on.
But regardless of evolved state, when you are in you are in. We can be fiercely loyal to our friends—even work—and especially to our partners. You get between an Aquarian and their partner, you may get bit.
Loyalty: How an Evolved Aquarian Is Better
Again, it comes down to the communication. With an evolved Aquarian, you can rest assured you will get top-shelf communication—even to a fault in that you may get some over-communicating. (What can I say, we like to make up for our known faults!)
We will profess our love to you, and be open and vulnerable, all to show you are important to us, and we are loyal to you. We will protect you, and often take your side when someone is challenging you.
Aquarians prefer a life of wonder; not be left to wonder.
When we need our space to go think and be creative, an evolved Aquarian will communicate that to you. If we are really skilled, we can even tell you how long we may need—an hour, a day, a week. We are still just as loyal, just as in love and just as into you during this time. And if you can support us during this time, I can assure you that we will fall more in love with you.
Sidenote: This does not mean an Aquarian should run the show, or that you should bow to their ways. Communicate your needs, and an evolved Aquarian will collaborate with you on what works best for the both of you.
All In: There Is No Half-Stepping with Us
Like Taurus, we tend to go all in on everything and anything that we really like. Believe me when I say you have never known “all in” until you’ve met an excited Aquarian—think 13 out of 10 levels. With an un-evolved Aquarius, this can look awkward and co-dependent (and might very well be.) And when things end, the un-evolved tend to have a hard time handling it, often blaming themselves for not seeing it coming or properly analyzing it in the first place.
If we find a food, a hobby, a place, a person that makes us feel seen, safe and excited, we tend to push all of our chips in on that bet. Again, with the un-evolved, this can feel smothering as they tend to go in with unabated gusto.
One other thing I’ll say about this is that I feel Aquarians also do this to stand out, and be seen above all the noise out there. Again: we love being seen.
All In: How an Evolved Aquarian Is Better
Through therapy and healing, the evolved Aquarian will go very very deep into their insides. Seriously, we don’t half-step anything. So, when we come back evolved and mostly healed, we have this extra energy and a deep resolve to never regress.
Our levels of excitement can be the same 13/10, but with an evolved one there will be much higher emotional intelligence (EQ). And with that, we will be going all-in on expressing our feelings as well. Crying over a baseball movie? Sure! Long, rib-cracking hugs! Absolutely!
The evolved Aquarian will still push all their chips in, but know that they will be able to lose it all or back out of that bet in a healthy way. We know how to process that loss or miss, and move on.
You will not be left to wonder where you stand with an evolved Aquarian.
Consistency: We Love It! Another Misunderstanding.
We need friends and partners who are consistent with their energy, and have integrity. You see, we are also highly analytical on top of the overthinking. Which means, we have already analyzed something you did or said, and if you are inconsistent, we have to re-analyze it. And since we are already onto analyzing something else, it over-taxes us.
The un-evolved Aquarian may not choose to deal with inconsistency—may not know how to deal with it—and decide to distance themselves from you to save from being overtaxed by it all.
The irony—or hypocrisy—of it all is that this is where we can appear equally inconsistent. Internally, it looks like this to us:
- when we meet you, we deeply analyze you. And when you are in you are in, which means we don’t have to re-analyze you at that level.
- and that means we know how to show up for you, consistently. If you are inconsistent, we have to readjust in how we show up, and that is often done in an abrupt manner for us, because that’s how we do! 😅 😬 🤷🏼
Consistency: How an Evolved Aquarian Is Better
We tend to love patterns. Again, we are highly analytical, pay attention to all the tiny details, and that is so we can feel safe and know how to show up for you.
An evolved Aquarian has the emotional intelligence (EQ) to be able to self-regulate and not jerk the wheel too hard or quickly when they come across an inconsistency. We can communicate what we see and work through it with you.
This isn’t to say we are boring and do the same thing over and over. Our consistency is in the energy we put into it.
You will never get the same flowers twice, but you will always get them with the same energy and excitement.
The Type of Person That Works Best with an Evolved Aquarius
Again, it is not us running the show here. Odd as it may sound: if we do feel we are running the show, we are out, buh-bye. We love healthy collaboration and matched energy. That said, here are some things we loooooove in other people (and jobs):
- You are smart, intelligent, and recognize it in yourself. (Because we feel this way, and expect you to as well.)
- You are consistent. (It’s just too taxing to deal with inconsistency for us.)
- You do the things you say you will do. (If you aren’t, we assume it is a lie, or you are putting up a false front. Don’t overpromise with us!)
- You understand that we never forget. (We replay the tapes constantly.)
- You allow us to cheerlead and help you when you need it. (Our pom-poms are always at the ready for those that are close to us. We flat out don’t understand why you wouldn’t allow us to do this for you.)
- You are independent in your day-to-day activities. (It’s more than okay to have your own things and your own time. You do you!)
- You are deeply curious about us, and the world around you. (We find incurious people to be odd ducks and uninteresting.)
- You are weird. (We tend to be eccentric, and love to see that in others too.)
- You give us space to analyze that new thing. (Be it food, cultural, or feelings like love, we take longer to opt-in. But when we do! POW!)
Things You Can Do for an Aquarius
Here is your cheatsheet for things Aquarians tend to love. You should see a common theme running through this in that we looooove the details (broad strokes are so boring.)
- Ask about our day, our dreams, our life.
- Don’t hold us back. Encourage us!
- Get cerebral, nerdy and weird with that conversation!
- We prefer deep, energetic love. And be loved.
- Be curious, and take notes.
- A number of small things and gestures wow us more than a few big ones.
- You know something we don’t. Teach us!
- You are your authentic self with us.
- Show more than you tell.
- Let us help you.
A Little Bit of a Rant
Don’t think being on the bottom of the list of zodiac signs in articles and readings doesn’t weigh on us. We see you! (We know it’s “in order”, but we don’t care.) As an Aquarius, we want to be seen and loved, and here we are on the bottom of the astrological charts and at the top of the lists professing how bad we are to date and such. Well, we’ve got your number, and you are not invited to our party. IYKYK.
