This is an excerpt from my latest book Dear Hannah: 70 Methods I Used and Abused to Change Who I Am.
Why I Quit Stanford
Date: December 31, 2000
Age: 20
Location: San Diego, CA
Subject: Adaptation and the Pursuit of Passion
Hannah, you won’t believe this. I’m still shaking at the thought of writing this. But long story short, I’ve decided to quit Stanford. What?? I know. It sounds crazy. My parents certainly think something is wrong. But I feel completely fine.
Everything came to a head two nights ago when I saw the movie Adaptation. In the movie, Meryl Streep plays the writer Susan Orlean, who is on a mission to write a novel about orchids. I know, sounds like a boring premise, right? But somehow the movie turned into the most compelling case for the pursuit of passion. In one of her discursive voice-overs, she says, in a will-o’-the-wispy voice about an orchid thief:
Most people yearn for something exceptional, something so inspiring that they’d want to risk everything for that passion, but few would act on it. It was very powerful and intoxicating to be around someone so alive.
Walking out of the theater, I found myself nodding to the same thoughts as Susan Orlean’s. I’ve been asking myself ever since, “Why would I want to do anything but pursue my passion in this moment, and in this moment, and in this moment, and so on until I die?” When I realized that it might mean I have to leave Stanford, I just got up and started dancing in my room.
I don’t give a crap about Stanford. I’m supposed to pick a major now, but frankly I got hooked on just taking intro courses in random departments. The most obvious major is Computer Science, but are computers really my passion? There’s got to be more to me than just being a tech-monkey. At least you have your fiction writing. What do I have?
The social scene also sucks. I’m surrounded by trust-fund kids who’ve never worked a day in their lives. I feel like I’m regressing here, living at an extended summer camp for seventeen-year-olds.
I just can’t see myself spending another $40,000 and crucial time in my twenties doing something my heart isn’t fully into.
You may be wondering how such a drastic decision came from one movie. I think it’s because Adaptation is an inspiring work of art in and of itself. It portrays Charlie trying to write the screenplay for the movie that you’re actually watching. It all loops back on itself, and I haven’t seen something done like that so powerfully and beautifully before. I came away from the theater thinking to myself, “I want to make art like that!”
We’ll see. I’ve given myself 24 hours to stew on the decision, but already I feel a lightness in my step.
- Phil
While it’s a total first-world luxury to suggest this, I think the ideal path would be to follow the British, and have a gap-year between high school and college. During my time off, I did a lot of spontaneous traveling. A couple times, I hopped into my car and drove in random directions across the US. Another time, I jumped at an ad for a $100 one-way ticket to London, which is where I discovered my passion for writing. Nonetheless, living off the beaten path wasn’t without its costs.
Other letters from Dear Hannah about finding work that you love:
› Why I Quit Stanford
• How to Really Pursue One’s Passion
• Creativity and the Power of “Letting Go”
• One Way to Figure out What to Do with Your Life
• How I Found Work that I Love
• How I Got out of My Funk and Got Back to Work
This is an excerpt from my latest book Dear Hannah: 70 Methods I Used and Abused to Change Who I Am.
Before Philip wrote his first line of code, he tried to re-program his mind. For his 14th birthday, Hannah gave him Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People, which kicked off a life-long obsession with self-improvement. Follow Philip over 82 letters as he re-tells his journey from winning ThinkQuest, to quitting Stanford, to dealing with dating, happiness, and direction, to eventually making it as an indie iOS app developer. Dear Hannah is either a cautionary tale about self-improvement, or it is a filter for the 10% of self-help that may actually change your life.
PHILIP DHINGRA is a President’s Scholar from Stanford University, where he received his B.A. in Mathematical and Computational Sciences. In addition to authoring books on life change, he develops best-selling iOS apps including Nebulous Notes and The Creative Whack Pack (a collaboration with creativity pioneer Roger von Oech). Philip divides his time between Austin, Texas, and San Francisco, California.
