The Internet — until death do us part
A relationship can be defined as “The way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected”. This meaning of ‘connection’ has undoubtedly evolved in recent times. How we go about finding love and communicating with others around us is now inextricably linked with the Internet.
Lets delve into online world of dating to explore the implications of living in a digital world and how this can affect our ability to find love, for better or for worse…
Swipe and you’ll miss it
The Internet has contributed to the rapid pace at which we now live; we can receive products within hours of ordering them online. We can send and receive information almost instantaneously. So why should it differ when it comes to ‘searching’ for The One?. As online dating apps creep into our love lives it is now possible to secure a date quicker than you can order a takeaway. It can be argued that the likes of Tinder and Bumble compliment our increasingly busy lifestyles where everything now moves faster and waits for no one. That’s where internet dating comes into play, saving us time and emotional investment.
Not only does the Internet increase the speed at which we communicate but it violently expands who we communicate with. Previously our romantic options were limited to our social circle. Now however, we have been granted the “golden key” by the Internet with almost unlimited access to a range of possibilities, breaking down social, economic and geographic barriers. The Internet facilitates interaction that might never have occurred otherwise.
Turning that point on its head, it is also possible to categorise and manipulate your romantic network based on your individual desires. There’s something from everyone, whether you’re looking for a quick Tinder hookup or an intellectual chat, over coffee with like-minded, professional individuals on “elite singles” (If you make the cut that is!). We can now click and choose with the help of agglomerated profiling.
Yes, I’ll say it again there really is something for everyone. Despite some of the negative attention online dating receives, it has without doubt revolutionised the quest to find love for the LGBT community. Eliel notes in his article that dating apps help to break down the barriers that some may face and help to avoid potentially inaccessible and uncomfortable situations.
Too many fish in the sea?
It seems to good to be true right? Surely there are some negative implications and dangers of finding love in the digital age. Match.com prides itself on helping you find “genuine, reliable singles”, but as we discovered in The Individual lecture is this always the case? The internet has rapidly increased our capability to interact with others. This begs the question, who are we really talking to? We are taught from a young age to be wary of who we communicate with online. To an extent, this concept seems to be forgotten as soon as we hit the online dating scene. You don’t have to dig deep to uncover countless Internet dating horror stories, from urinating on the floor to the dreaded first date “I love you”. Whilst these fleeting experiences make for humorous gossip over a drink, there is darker and more dangerous side to our online interactions with the unknown. We must acknowledge the vulnerable position we can put ourselves in when sharing information online.We must also consider the protective responsibility we have as digital citizens to look after ourselves and others online.
With all this talk of romance let’s think about the impact of the Internet on our emotional wellbeing. Myself, like many of my fellow Gen Z’s have been accustomed to short lived flings. Does this rapid turnover of emotional and physical interaction have consequences? Whilst short ’n’ sweet correspondences may not have immediate negative implications, Midnight Neisence warns of the potential downfalls in their Medium post. They use the analogy between online dating apps and the short-stay home letting phenomena Air BnB. Arguing that our Air BnB style relationships take affect on our emotional robustness and inhibit our ability to maintain a resilient inner psyche. The ethical and social implications of this are a tricky one; yes dating sites tailored to us make life easier, but how healthy is it to be able to create a digital shopping list, judging our supposed compatibility by a set of data. Has love lost its heart?
Romance “switched on” — is this the new normal?
Internet dating is undoubtedly one of the most influential industries of the 21st century. Like many innovations in the digital society, online dating isn’t going away and we cannot ignore it. We must consider what responsibilities, capabilities and power we have stored in tiny devices and as participants in the digital world. For me, this issue is personal. Despite being a technophobe I ironically met my now boyfriend on Tinder. The initial meet up was a bit awkward but after a while you get used to it, maybe this is the new normal. After sifting through the many oddballs I was surprised to find there are actually normal people that exist in the online world of romance.
The Internet of things is now a fact of daily life and this is no different when it comes to finding love. It is becoming increasingly hard to make the delineation between on and offline. With this in mind, let us think about what our relationships will look like in the future? The Internet already acts as a third party in many couples lives and staying in touch has never been easier. Information sharing is at an all time high, with social media lending intense levels of visibility. Making that “read and not reply” even more dangerous.
So now let me ask, are you turned on by Internet dating?
Personal reflection
Looking back…
My time spent in Digisoc towers has been eventful. I, the girl who had no comprehension of what a ‘hard drive’ was and not the slightest clue of how to update my IOS just sixth months ago, now use words like ‘net neutrality’ and ‘artificial intelligence’. In addition to the extension of my vocabulary I have learned a lot;
Critical thinking : this was possibly the most valuable skill I gained. Don’t ask me how I managed to get through my young academic life without it because I don’t know either. This was evident in my first coursework submission and the feedback from Digisoc 1 was a true realisation moment for me. I now understand the importance of not taking things for face value and the necessity of evaluating both sides of an argument, both in my academic writing and everyday life.
There’s a lot more to the Internet than Google, 4OD and Zara.com : I acknowledge this might sound a bit odd coming from a twenty one year old. I lacked awareness surrounding online ethics, data protection and simply why on earth people put paper over their webcams. I am now a lot more thoughtful about what I share online and who I share it with. I stepped into room 3.2 a relatively naïve university student and although I haven’t left knowing everything, I feel confident to apply the skills, knowledge and awareness I have acquired to aspects of my life.
It’s not all that bad: Probably the most defining element of undertaking this course was listening to the opinions of my peers. I have always had a hate-hate relationship with technology, over the past couple of years I’ve tried to maintain an arms length relationship with anything that plugs in. However the ‘wow’ moment for me was in the ‘internet of things’ discussion, when someone pointed out the positives of technological integration. I suddenly realised that technology isn’t as bad as I originally thought; it lends us free time to be creative and insightful. Hearing the opinions of other people made me acknowledge that as hard as I try to walk away from the digital society it is always close behind me. I now accept this fact and to an extent welcome it.
Looking forward…
With my goal of entering the corporate fashion world I am now aware of the impact that innovations in technology will have on my future field of work. Specifically I plan to deepen my understanding how digital integration will positively and negatively influence the apparel pipeline and what jobs will be created and lost. With my newfound knowledge on smart cities, algorithms, data collection and the like I have feel I have earned my passport to digital citizenship.
