Self-care and the will to live
Autistic and Chronic Illness edition
Self-care
Self-care is something that everybody has heard at a moment in their lives, especially now with the popularity of self-help books and gurus.
Despite the divided online opinion of the “Self-Help Era”, I believe they come from a good place, that of being better humans.
I have read several of them, and some have helped me and others have not, but ironically the one that has served me the most was the first one I read as a teenager: “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl, I know this is not exactly a book of self-help, but it did help me. For those who have not read it, it is about the author’s lived experiences in a concentration camp and what he observed in the behavior and experiences of his companions.
“Don´t let the lice get you”
Thanks to this book I learned the first of what I will define as one of my self-care rules: “Don´t let the lice get you”, what does that mean? you may ask, well, in the book Frankl describes that he could tell when his companions give up based on whether they removed the lice from their body daily or not, that is, whether they groomed themselves every day. Although it could be seen as a useless activity since the lice returned the next day, whoever did it still had the will to live, and therefore, a chance of surviving.
Thanks to that story my rule “Don´t let the lice get you” applies to my day-to-day life, whatever I may be feeling that day there are things that I need to do for myself because I have a will to live. It doesn´t matter how bad I may be feeling because of my chronic illnesses, I think about my n° one rule and try to do my self-care routine the best I can.
If I don’t have the energy to comb my hair, I ask someone to do it for me or braid it for me, that way it will be better, and it won’t get tangled.
If I don´t have the energy for the skin-care routine I just wash my face, it still counts.
If I can´t get out of bed I wear comfortable clothes and when I get out of bed, I change the sheets.
I shower, even if I don´t want to (because I´m tired, everything hurts, or just because I just want to sleep), but when I get out of the water I always feel better.
I try to do at least one thing that I love every day, and if the energy is on my side more than one, that way, I distract myself, work to stay in the moment, and enrich my day.
As an autistic, working on my sensory issues is another way of self-care, I have something similar to a “sensory emergency kit” to help me avoid burnout from sensory overload:
- Tactile: stuffed animal; fidget toy; or just my cat or dogs.
- Hearing: hearing protectors.
- Smell: neutralizing aromas, such as boiling water with lemon and cinnamon (highly recommended, neutralize almost everything); or lighting a candle.
- Vision: turn off artificial light and stick to natural light; wear sunglasses; close my eyes and sit down. It also helps to try to see Nature.
I´m pretty sure I have more, but those are the ones that come to mind, in the end, the important thing is to use things and strategies that are good for you and that help you in your self-care.
Take your meds
Oh, and one of the most important things a person with chronic illnesses can do: is take their meds. Believe it or not is not only something of a self-care thing is also something of a loving yourself thing!
Taking your meds is a way of loving yourself
This is how I see it: Do you prefer being in pain and seeing how your body is suffering because there is something a component that can´t produce enough for itself or nothing at all? or is better to make some time and build a routine to take some pills that can make you feel better? When you see it that way, I think the answer is simple, if you lack something that your body needs to function, and some meds can help you with that is better to take the meds.
Even if you turn to holistic medicine or oriental medicine, the important thing is that you help your body to feel better, that is the act of love for yourself.
Activity Pacing
In my article "How to use Activity Pacing" I explained extensively this, but in this topic, I wanted to bring it back because I think is greatly useful to the self-care of the chronically ill and, if I may be bold, to all individuals.
Activity Pacing is a strategy that can be used to manage under or overactivity, chronic fatigue, as well as pain management.
It can help you to:
- Know what you can or cannot do at a certain moment, as well as make conscious decisions in favor of your health, which also helps your self-confidence.
- Reduce the likelihood that your health will worsen.
Basically, is a strategy that you can use to regulate your use of energy throw the day, and for that, you use tools such as a journal or the establishment of routines to be more aware and gentle with yourself and your health.
If you want to know about it you can read my article here.
Last thoughts
As you can read, for me at least Self-care is a matter of self-love and a will to live.
Whatever you do to your self-care I recommend making it a habit, also making it fun for you and not a hard chore.
It also helps to try new things from time to time, in that way, you can add, change, or update your self-care routine.
As I am kind of an organized person I talk about routine, but if you are more flexible, you don’t need to see it as a routine, the important to remember is that you do this as a loving thing for you and to be consistent.
If you have something to comment on the topic or some tip you want to share please do it in the comment section, I would love to read it!
How is your will to live today?
I invite you to clap, comment, and subscribe, it will encourage me to continue writing.
I wrote for free so If you would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee!
