The Gift of the Cross: A Gift to Fill That Which is Lacking
“Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ on behalf of his body, which is the church.” (Col 1:24)
The purpose of human suffering is something that is widely addressed among many circles, from Christians to atheists and gnostics to Buddhists. Great thinkers of philosophy and psychology too have given their two cents, and then some. I believe that this is because it is a reality so central to the human experience. No one can live life without passing through the dark valleys of suffering. It may be experienced up close or observed from a distance; it may show up in various quantities in specific moments; and, it may come early on or later down the road of life.
As such, many belief systems attempt to give it an explanation. To be fair, these listed here are not a complete compilation, but they are some of the more salient viewpoints that come to mind. Various worldviews either purport that suffering is meaningless, that it should be avoided, that it is a curse, that it is a test, and finally, that it is a gift. I would propose that the last iteration is the best way to reflect on suffering because it allows us to understand how these trials are permitted for our own benefit, so that we can grow in both love of God and neighbor.
Many relatively modern philosophers see suffering as meaningless. One could say that even starting during the Enlightenment — in the rationalistic push away from traditional views of the world — and certainly with the rise of communism, suffering began to lose its purpose. When separated from God, and especially a personal God who is intimately concerned with His creation, pain and difficulty quickly lose their meaning. For, what point is there in bearing trials well if we all die and there is nothing to gain, with regard to life after death, by suffering well in the present world? These beliefs have only mutated more and permeated further into our modern cultures. Taken in this line of thought, it is understandable why there is so much confusion and hopelessness in our present world. However, I would like to think that if someone saw even a glimpse of a chance of finding meaning in suffering that they would give that perspective a second thought. Therefore, we ought to continue to show others that there is hope and goodness in suffering by bearing our own crosses well.
Similarly, some eastern religions (e.g. Buddhism) view suffering as something to be avoided so as to reach a deeper peace. I may be doing these belief systems a disservice due to my lack of experiential knowledge of their teachings; but, from my own understanding, it is taught that it is through striving to rise above one’s suffering, discomforts, worldly attachments, etc. that one is able to attain a higher state of peace. While I do understand that prayer and meditation are very beneficial in the midst of trials, I also believe that avoiding engaging with suffering leaves a lot lacking with regards to moral progress and graces received. The reality is that there are unavoidable struggles that we will encounter in this life. We should not run from them, but instead allow them to teach us something and to help us grow more into our true selves.
Other ancient belief systems take the approach that suffering is a curse from God or a just repayment for previous sins. One can see this both in characters of the Gospel stories and in the book of Job. However, in the Gospels, Jesus states that those that He encounters are not disabled or ill due to their own or another’s sins, but so that His power may be manifested through healing their ailments. Additionally, in the book of Job, we see that his sufferings were more of a test from the devil because God said that Job was such a righteous man.
However, although it may be true that suffering can be a test at times, it ought not be viewed solely in this potentially negative perspective. Some trials may be meant to verify our faith in God, but that is not all for which they exist. In 1 Peter 1:7, we are reminded that suffering may be likened to the attempt to purify gold through fire. It is only by the intense heat that the impurities of one’s soul can be removed, if the opportunity is approached with the proper openness.
Yet, contrary to the above perspectives, if we try to see suffering as a gift, we can come to understand how our trials in life are actually necessary lessons for us to become who we are meant to be. In this line of thought, I like to imagine someone — be it a friend, family member, coworker, or even a child — giving you a gift. They are sharing it with you for a particular reason: to celebrate your birthday, for a recent accomplishment, as a going away token, etc. As such, they want it to be beneficial, enjoyable, or meaningful for you. They believe that what they are giving you will be something that you will need, like, or cherish. In the same way, God gives us these gifts of suffering because He, in His omnipotence and providence, knows that they are necessary for our growth in virtue and for us to be able to love Him more.
I particularly like the image of a child giving you a gift. He or she looks up to you with their proud eyes, full of the unabashed love that they poured out into their gift, even though it might not appear perfectly wrapped or of the best quality. Nonetheless, they put their whole heart into it. They made it specifically out of love for you. Similarly, God gives us our crosses as gifts of His unreserved love for us. Though they may not appear as something to be cherished, He knows that they are truly good for us, if we allow them to draw us closer to Him. In this way, our sufferings are not meaningless, to be avoided, curses, or purely tests. They are gifts that He gives us because He knows that they will help us to move beyond our current state and progress closer to His heart, if we accept and bear them with humility, patience, and charity.
Throughout our lives, we form, whether intentionally or not, certain habits and personalities. Often, these can be sinful and lead us away from God. As such, God permits suffering to allow us to again draw near to Him who is on the cross. In his reflections on Christ’s Passion, The Way of the Cross, St. Josemaría Escrivá tells us that “at times the cross appears without our looking for it: it is Christ who is seeking us out” (Station V). Frequently, these trials do not come when we expect, want, or are prepared for them. Nonetheless, in His omnipotence, God knows that they are necessary for us to be able to move toward entering eternal life with Him. Similarly, Father Walter Ciszek, in his book He Leadeth Me, writes,
“Each day, every day of our lives, God presents to us the people and opportunities upon which he expects us to act. He expects no more of us, but he will accept nothing less of us; and we fail in our promise and commitment if we do not see in the situations of every moment of every day his divine will;” and again,
“Whatever the trials of the moment, whatever the hardships or sufferings, more important than all these was the knowledge that they had been sent by God and served his divine providence. I could not always fathom the depths of his providence or pretend to understand his wisdom, but I was secure in the knowledge that by abandoning myself to his will, I was doing as perfectly as I could his will for me.”
In this account of his trials as a Jesuit priest in Soviet Russia, he repeatedly reflects on the theme of God’s providence. Through his own sufferings, he demonstrates how all that happens to us comes from the guiding hand of God. What is contingent is how we respond to His call in the midst of every situation. We can use the events of our lives for our own selfish gain or for the eternal good of our souls and that of others’ souls. In any case, through our own crosses, God continually beckons us to draw near to Him who is on the cross. All we have to do is be aware of His presence and be led by Him more through it all.
However, a major stumbling block to our salvation is attachment to earthly possessions and sinful tendencies. It is our sufferings that are there to help detach us from these worldly attractions. Station X of The Way of the Cross reflects that, “for us to reach God, Christ is the way; but Christ is on the Cross and to climb up the cross, we must have our heart free, not tied to earthly things.” There are so many things that can keep us tied to our earthly selves — be it physical goods, social status, misguided hopes, etc. However, if we truly want peace and fulfillment, we must learn to detach ourselves from these things and more passively cooperate in God’s will by accepting our own crosses. Father Ciszek describes his own experience with this process as:
“I had continuously to learn to accept God’s will — not as I wished it to be, not as it might have been, but as it actually was at the moment. And it was through the struggle to do this that spiritual growth and a greater appreciation of his will took place.”
Throughout his various trials in a communist labor camp, a solitary confinement prison, and a Siberian labor camp, he reflects on how easy it is to be anxious about what new struggle is coming next. However, through it all, he learned that God’s will is in the here and now. It is not in the past and it is not in the future. God is present with us in every moment. We must learn to stop succumbing to worry about what God wants from us in the future and start striving to live how He is calling us to live in the present moment.
Nonetheless, God in His goodness allows us plenty of chances to continually renew our commitment to following His will. St. Josemaría reminds us that even unto the end we must: “Love sacrifice; it is a fountain of interior life. Love the Cross, which is an altar of sacrifice. Love pain, until you drink, as Christ did, the very dregs of the chalice” (Station XII). Our entire lives on earth are journeys to prepare us for heaven. Each opportunity of suffering is a chance to open ourselves up more to God’s will and grace. Father Ciszek agrees that,
“No man’s life, no man’s suffering, is lost from the eyes of God. For each of us has been created to praise, reverence, and serve God and by this means to save our souls and help in the salvation of others. No action, however insignificant, if accepted and performed as from God’s hand and in conformity with his will, is anything other than redemptive and a sharing in the great work of salvation begun by Christ’s passion.”
It is through both our daily and lifelong crosses that we can be conformed more into images of Christ, who is the one who came into the world to redeem us and to give us the chance to be able to live eternally with God in heaven. But, it is through the cross that we must go to get there.
Essentially, it is through sacrificing our own wills and desires that we are able to use our sufferings for a greater good. The word sacrifice comes from the roots sacra- (“sacred, holy”) and facere (“to make”). In this way, by sacrificing our innate repulsive reactions toward our suffering and, instead, passively submitting ourselves to God’s will, we can be made more holy.
Often, our trials call us out of ourselves into communion with others. Similarly, St. Josemaría charges us with the truth that: “We must give our life for others. That is the only way to live the life of Jesus Christ and to become one and the same thing with Him” (Station XIV). As such, by being made holy through conformity to God’s calling for each of us, we are made to be witnesses for Him. Father Ciszek puts it that:
“By man’s first disobedience, says Saint Paul, sin entered the world, and through sin, death. And only by man’s obedience, by conformity to the will of God, will sin be eliminated and so suffering and death.”
Through obedience to God in our difficulties, we can be witnesses to the world of Christ’s calling for each of us to live as He did. Coincidentally, the Greek word for witness is martyr. Though not always through a grotesque physical death, we are all called to model our Christian calling by dying to ourselves in our sufferings, which in turn will help us to spread the good news of this universal calling and make us more fit to enter heaven ourselves.
In this way, God gives us sufferings as gifts, or opportunities, for us to love Him. For, if following Him was inevitable, that would not be love, as it requires a choice (i.e. having the option to choose between two or more things). Additionally, our sufferings may be a gift within a gift: we may think that we have to bear a cross all on our own and that we are loving God through doing that, but it may be instead that it is in actually being vulnerable and asking others for help that we can truly sacrifice our pride, greed, jealousy, etc. and surrender to the love of God. With suffering, we are presented the chance to overcome our earthly, selfish desires and choose to love God. As such, God in His benevolent providence allows simple evils so that they can be made into complex goods. As seen in the parable of the weeds and the wheat, God allows both good and evil to persist until the final judgment, with the blessed assurance that goodness will win in the end.
A trap that we can easily fall into is comparing our sufferings with those of others. However, it is like comparing apples and oranges. The crosses in our lives are specific to each one of us. We all have certain blessings and difficulties in our lives that make our place in the world unique (as described in “You Are Who You Are: Fostering Authenticity and Wholeheartedness”). Someone recently mentioned a prayer that states that God, in His goodness, would take away our sufferings if they were not necessary for our salvation. In this way, God allows our personal struggles, in accord with His will, so that we might have the best chance possible to reach eternal life, if we choose to accept His grace and to submit ourselves to His plan.
I have always thought that the initially quoted verse from Collossians meant that St. Paul saw himself as filling up what is lacking in Christ’s suffering, as if Jesus’ sacrifice was not complete. Or rather, I understood it to mean that Christ’s suffering was so infinite and outside of time that St. Paul saw his temporal sufferings fitting into, or participating in, Jesus’ sacrifice. However, I recently heard it stated in the reverse way that it was through his own trials that in St. Paul himself that which was lacking in Christlikeness was being filled up. I think that it can be helpful to see it in both ways: suffering can both be a way for us to be filled up with Christ as well as a means for us to participate in His salvific mission.
In the end, God is not an evil or selfish god, nor does He need our love. Rather, He is generous in that He wants to give us opportunities to love Him because He knows that they are good for us. Through Christianity, we can take the radical perspective that suffering is actually a sign of God’s love for us. In a way, suffering is like the late Carnegie Mellon professor Randy Pausch’s concept of a “head fake,” which he describes in his The Last Lecture as the ability to teach people things “they don’t realize they’re learning until well into the process.” Through suffering, if we allow God to enter into it with us, He can help to transform not only the crosses themselves into something greater but, through them, He can also help us who bear their weight to one day be redeemed.
