Summer Top Tips
Ten Ways To Piss Your Neighbour Off— And Get Away With It
With summer on the way, here’s a quick guide to getting started
Invite Family
Watch your neighbours’ terrified looks as your driveway fills up with the worst your family has to offer. See them twitch as the street fills up with an assortment of violent ex-cons, drug addicts and Iraq war veterans, who could flip out at any time.
Witness them creak at the knees, as your family file into your house carrying armloads of hard liquor, hash, smack, crack, jerk chicken and rotten fish!
Barbecue Jerk Chicken and Seafood
I’m not a barbecue fan myself. I prefer pots of stew, curry, rice, and salad. I like to taste my food not incinerate it.
But that doesn’t annoy the neighbours.
What annoys the neighbours is grilling highly spiced and marinated chicken and seafood. Watch their faces as the neighbourhood suffocates in a haze of chilli, paprika, lemon and pepper.
See the windows shut as quickly as the portals of a ship in a storm. Hear the coughing and the complaints:
“We’re not at the beach!!!”
