The One Psychological Skill, Everyone Can Use to Shift Their Mindset: Reframing
A short introduction to the technique of reframing.
He is not conflict-avoiding — he is cautious.
She is not aggressive — she defends herself.
It is not boring — it teaches us patience.
Wording has power. Psychologists instrumentalized this fact and made a skill out of it: Reframing. I learned reframing as a counseling technique as a psychology undergraduate student.
Everyone should know how to use this skill for themselves because it gives you real power over your own thoughts.
What is reframing?
Reframing is one of the techniques of systemic psychotherapy and natural-language processing.
As the word already indicates, it is about framing something in a new way. It is the process of reinterpreting a situation, thought, or circumstance.
While we are reframing, we take new perspectives.
All behavior has a reason and a meaning in a specific context. — Watzlawick
Systematic psychologists believe that all behavior works in a specific system. As Watzlawick says, there is always an explanation for behavior.
By using reframing, we try to understand the system of another person and give reasons.
Reframing is especially used to turn negative (associated) beliefs into something positive. Thus it searches for the explanation of a circumstance.
Why should you use it?
Knowing how to create a new perspective on a situation is powerful.
Did you ever find yourself stuck in a thought? Thinking about a situation repeatedly, trying to find explanations, but not being able to.
I do the same. But reframing helps me to get out of the endless loop of thinking the same.
A new frame puts a different light on a situation.
New words are creating new feelings — Carmin Kindl-Beilfuß (Psychotherapist)
Here’s a personal story. Once I took it really personally, if one of my close friends was not as open for conversations and kidding around as usual, I thought she was angry with me. But because of reframing, I shifted my mind. I understood that she was not angry with me, but that she just had a bad day herself. Reframing made me think about interactions less self-centered and more focused on the other person’s reasons.
Reframing can have therapeutic effects. It forces you to get out of your normal thought-patterns and beliefs.
It is also a creative process. Writers use the idea of finding different words for the same circumstance on a day to day basis.
Why do we like to read an article about learning from one author, but not from another? One author reframed the knowledge in different more attention-seeking ways.
How to reframe?
There are three ways of reframing.
1. Reframing of the meaning:
It tries to give meaning to specific behavior and explain it. For example: It could explain an argument between people by the fact that they are particularly important to each other.
2. Reframing of the context:
This reframing tries to find a new context in which the original behavior could be useful. For example, being loud in a social group could make you assertive in a negotiation.
3. Reframing of the content: This tries to keep the problem and the intention apart from each other. Not taking breaks could be a method for trying to study as much as possible.
While reframing, we are using the power of words.
First, find a thought or situation you want to reframe. It has to be something clear, specific, and deconstructive. For example:
- My mom is annoying, she calls me every day.
- I’m lazy.
In most cases, we want to reframe something negative in our eyes. Thus the next step is to play with words. How can we describe the circumstance, but make it more neutral or even positive?
Remember: Watzlawick said every behavior has a reason and a meaning in a specific context.
Hence try to put yourself in another person’s shoes. Why is your mom calling you every day? Is she annoying or is calling you an act of caring? Are you lazy or are you good at saving your energy and using it effectively?
It is not always easy to find another perspective on a circumstance. But especially in these situations, reframing is even more worth it.
You shouldn’t try to reframe one situation in all three ways. Think about the different ways to see if a good fit pops up in your head automatically.
Getting into a positive and resource-oriented worldview can help. Can you see anything good in the behavior? Even the most little positive thought could help.
You can try to find many explanations for reframing. After doing this you can use the one which fits the most.
Ask yourself: How would you sell a bad thought to someone, without telling them that it is a bad thought?
How to practice reframing?
Just do it. Practice, Practice, Practice! As often as possible.
Reframing becomes a skill if you’re practicing it often enough. Don’t only use it in situations you’re involved in. Use your everyday life as an opportunity for practicing. Pay attention to other people’s behavior and then try to explain it.
Also, listen when other people are talking about the same situation. Most often two people’s perspectives are already two frames.
And of course, you can find a bunch of examples and resources about reframing. Read about it more and find your own words in other people’s words. Here are two readings to dive deeper into the topic:
This one gives more tips on how to actually reframe and here you can read about the underlying thoughts of cognitive-behavioral therapy:
But please not only read this article — use it! I’m sure that implementing the skill of reframing into your life, can change the way you are thinking!
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