WEEK 4
本週5篇來自下面2個分類 :[Uncalendared]、 [Member Feature Story]，本週關鍵字 : 社群軟體、人生、道路、番茄醬(?)、尊重、多元、包容。
[1-1] ★★★★☆
The Real Reason I am Deleting Facebook.
It’s Not Because of the Data Breach.[1-2] ★★★☆☆
The Real Reason I Want To Delete Instagram Next.
A Pure Feed Contaminated By Advertisements.[1-3] ★★★★☆ / [Uncalendared]
How It Felt When I Deleted Facebook.
Reversing the Curse of Social Media’s Biggest Thief.
上一篇( WEEK 3 )談到Facebook的資安問題，這次來談談走樣的社群軟體。我覺得這三篇寫得不錯，確實把我的(甚至是大家的)心聲講出來了!!! 重點是不難，真心推薦大家可以點文章標題的連結直接讀原文 ! 這次就不囉嗦寫出來和大家一起看了，直接分別從三篇節錄我覺得經典的段落給大家看看 !
[1–1] 作者已經和所有失聯的朋友都重新連絡上了，走樣的Facebook掰掰 👋— “ I have their phone numbers now. I don’t need to wade through layers of feed garbage just to see a week old post from them. I’m good. I found all of my old friends. I watched a thousand puppy videos that my friends shared. I wasted a lot of f*cking time on Facebook. And what do I have to show for it?” — 我覺得這段真的超級中肯又好笑 🤣 🤣 🤣
[1–2] 作者決定來數一下他滑Instagram會看到多少廣告 — “ As of today, in my feed, every 6th photo is a sponsored post. I can only look at five photos before something I don’t give a sh*t about is forced upon me. This is absolutely ludicrous. Not only that, but the algorithm favors people you have most recently followed. So three out of the first five unsponsored posts are from the same person. And are like a week old. Fantastic. ” — 惱人的廣告和贊助貼文，我懂 🤬 🤬 🤬
[1–3] 最終，社群軟體到底有沒有讓我們和人們真正 的「聯繫」?— “ I was a willing and overly eager participant in something that took more away from my life than it gave me. It took my time. And my data. And my preferences. And anything else it could to try to market to me. When all I wanted it for was connection. Stupid me.” — 中肯到令人生氣 😂 😂 😂
另外，介紹一個在文章中看到的詞 — FOMO — Fear of missing out 的縮寫，字面上的意思就是害怕錯過，但不是和真愛錯過的那種錯過 😆 而是，比如說:怕錯過好玩的事的那種錯過 — “ People who grapple with FOMO might not know exactly what they are missing but can still hold a fear that others are having a much better time or having a much more rewarding experience on the spur of the moment.” 嗯…怎麼覺得自己好像符合 🤔 而作者在[1-1]提到他的FOMO是怕錯過Facebook的群組和粉絲專頁，我完全可以理解 👌
看完這三篇後我也反思了一下自己使用Facebook的情況，對我來說，還在用Facebook是因為 — 想看社團貼文(但越來越常一滑而過)、新聞(還行)、政治人物最近又有什麼笑話(真的有不少)、崇拜的人所發的文(不常見)，還有，想知道朋友最近在幹嘛，然而，幾乎很少(同齡的)人在Facebook上分享近況了 😔
而我自己呢，很偶爾的會打一篇長文說說自己最近在幹嘛(當然只說想讓別人看到的部分)、偶爾的拍照打卡(炫耀性質)、抽書、抽電影票、儲存或分享某篇之後才要看的貼文、在某篇貼文標記朋友、留言以獲得某篇資訊、分享我的Medium文章 😆
其實前一陣子就有感到 Facebook 越來越難看，因而開始退追一些粉專、取消追蹤某些社團，也一直都有在清理自己的好友，最近則是開始認真看待我的隱私設定。只能說，從高中開始用到現在，Facebook真的不好玩了。
[補記]
在看完這三篇文章後的晚上，我刻意滑了一陣子Facebook看看我得到了什麼 — 結果 — 一 ! 無 ! 所 ! 獲 !，原本期待至少能滑到個讓我長知識的文章或新聞吧。沒有。於是，隔天早上我把Facebook從手機裡刪掉了。(當然不是把整個帳號刪掉，我也還是需要接收一些通知的，吧 😝)
[再補記]
手機裡沒有Facebook可以滑後，我發現我比平常頻繁的點開 Instagram，然後失望的關掉 🤦🏻好處是 —滑手機的時間大幅減少了!!!!!
[2] ★★★★☆
What Road Trips Can Teach Us.本篇作者以Road Trip來比喻人生。
小時候作者的爸爸帶著她的 road trip 都是以目的地為唯一目標，過程並不怎麼有趣(想想在美國那是開多久的車…)；而作者長大後規劃自己和小孩的road trip 時必定加入一些好玩的行程，讓旅程不再只是抵達目的地而已。
作者把自己看待 road trip 的方式也應用到了人生道路上。
作者認為，人生這條道路不應只是不斷的由A點抵達B點而已 —“ We often forget- and I’m including myself here- that life isn’t about that Point B destination. It’s certainly not about continuing to accumulate possessions or achieve accolades. It truly is about the journey, and the occasional real life road trip can serve as a reminder that our whole lives are a road trip.” 。
旅途中的繞路和意外事件並非壞事—“ Just like a road trip, some of those detours we didn’t plan are the ones that make our lives so much richer. We might feel lost for a little while, but we always get where we’re going in the end. While getting lost can be a deeply frustrating experience, it can also be rewarding. We learn how to navigate our lives better, and we often discover so much about ourselves.” — 這些事可能豐富了我們的生命、可能讓我們迷惘，但迷惘過後我們會更認識自己，也更清楚自己人生的方向。
非常同意作者的 Road Trip理論 😆 勇敢的走自己的路吧 !
It’s all about the journey !
[3] ★★★★★
Want to Find Your Passion? Then Follow The Trail You’ve Left Behind.本篇作者以 糖果屋(Hansel and Gretel) 這個大家耳熟能詳的童話故事來表達她的人生建議。(失智症如我，還特地去查了糖果屋始末XD)
查完發現故事真是比記憶中來的離奇 😱 但作者要的重點只有一個，那就是 — 兄妹倆為了要知道回家的路而在離家沿路放小石頭作為指路(我竟然完全只記得麵包屑XD) — “ In your own life, you’ve been leaving behind a trail of pebbles all along as well.” — 而在我們的人生道路途中，我們也沿路留下了屬於自己的小石頭。
作者認為，當我們不知道人生該做什麼時，可以回頭看看這些自己在沿途中所留下的小石頭。因為，那些小石頭就是自己的倒影 — “ Your Pebbles Are A Reflection Of You — Your past behavior is a strong indicator for how you’ll act and respond to situations in the future. Over time, these tendencies come out over and over again.” — 我們過去的行為是我們未來將如何行動的指標。
很喜歡作者在這裡引述Steve Jobs的話 — “ You can only connect the dots looking backward.” —你只有在回顧時才能將那些點點滴滴串連起來。
這句話是出自Steve Jobs 2005年在Stanford的畢業演講 👇
整段原文如下 :
“ Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college, but it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards, so you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever — because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well-worn path, and that will make all the difference.”
回到文章，也許外界壓力、時下趨勢會讓我們做出並非自己真心的選擇，畢竟，跟著別人的腳步走總是比較容易 — “ But if you look closely, you might find that there are some things, regardless of trends and external factors, that you find yourself gravitating towards.” — 所以，回頭看看自己沿路留下的小石頭吧 ! 真的好喜歡作者和Steve Jobs的觀點 🤗 🤩
[4] ★★★☆☆
How To Make Yourself An Unstoppable Force
“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” (Charles R. Swindoll)這篇談的是 — 對於發生在我們生命中的意外事件，我們的態度以及應對方式決定了一切。
“ Life will inevitably provide many obstacles, challenges, and difficult circumstances to every single one of us. It us up to us and how we handle these situations that will determine what kind of results that we will get and what path we will send ourselves down.”
作者認為，如果想擁有無法阻擋的力量(unstoppable force)，那就必需視Obstacles → Opportunities，大概就是我們中文常說的化危機為轉機。
作者舉例 — “A wall that cannot be climbed.” — 這是Obstacles，但可以改想成 — “A wall that can be climbed, dug under, walked around, etc.” — 這樣就變成了Opportunities。
作者將這個概念套用到一句名言 — “ Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”，並以 Victim 和 Creator 兩種人/心態為例 — “A victim thinks that life is 100% what happens to the individual and that the individual has no power over the situation at all.” 然而如果是 Creator — “ They understand that the things that happen to them in life is only a tiny fraction of the bigger context and that they have the majority of the power and ability to guide their circumstances to something that they would like or find ideal.”
最後，作者建議，可以試著看看當自己面對不管是好的事或是壞的事時，我們是如何反應的 ? — Start with asking a few questions to get an objective look at how you’re reacting :
“ How do I typically react to a perceived obstacle?”
“ How do I others view my reactions?”
“ In what area of my life can I improve my reactions the most?”
似乎值得一試 🤔 🤔
[5] ★★★☆☆ / [Member Feature Story]
Are You a Drizzler or a Pooler?
This is about so much more than ketchup and fries.本篇作者以「吃薯條時如何配番茄醬」開啟她真正想談的主題 — 多元、尊重、包容(?)。作者把人分成兩種 — 用薯條去沾番茄醬的人(Pooler)、直接把番茄醬淋在薯條上的人(Drizzler)。(這讓我想到了WEEK3的第2篇文章— 關於食物的偏好，好像可以做點連結 🤔)
作者一直是個用薯條去沾番茄醬的人(pooler)，理所當然地覺得這樣才是對的，把番茄醬淋在薯條上會讓有些薯條淋滿番茄醬、有些一滴也沒有，然而作者的愛人卻是喜歡用淋的人(drizzler)，如此一來 “ Every bite is different.” —“ What poolers see as a problem, he sees as a source of pleasure.”。作者由此延伸出“ One person holds their truth to be so self-evident that they gaslight others into thinking that anything different is the behavior of a sociopath, terrorist, demon.”，似乎誇張了，但我明白作者想表達的是容不下異己的那種心態。
接下來才是作者的重點，她引述了心靈作家 Eckhart Tolle 書中的一點 — “ the forcefully compulsive and deeply unconscious need to be right is a form of violence.”，還蠻同意這句話的，尤其是遇到太過於據理力爭的人時真的會覺得有必要這樣嗎😕。作者提到的另外一篇文章 Think You’re Always Right? It’s Probably Ruining Your Relationship 則由 Eckhart Tolle 的觀點延伸出這樣的人可能對自己與他人的關係(relationship)造成負面影響，我覺得這篇文章寫得很好 (勝過番茄醬這篇 😝)推薦大家點進去看看 !! 該篇作者認為 — “Acceptance is not the same as weakness. On the contrary, acknowledgment and acceptance of a differing worldview is a powerful act of understanding, self-confidence, and compassion.”，也提供了5點可以試著練習接受的小秘訣 :
1. Start small.
2. Accept that there are a lot of people with a lot of opinions that you’ll never be able to change.
3. Prioritize kindness and compassion over feeling “right.”
4. Look for an opportunity to change your opinion.
5. Acknowledge that changing your opinion, or allowing someone else to prove you wrong, doesn’t make you any less you.
其中我很喜歡他在第3點段落中所說的 — “All of our opinions are informed by circumstance. Unless you’ve lived someone else’s life, you can never fully understand why s/he believes what s/he does.” — 每個人的背景都很不一樣，我自己是覺得我們永遠也無法真正的同理他人，這也是我一直在學習的事情 — 學習更多的理解、更多的包容。這篇真的推 !
回到文章，作者接受了他的愛人drizzle的吃法 XD 並接受 “ the truth is that there’s no right or wrong way to do any one thing.”。
以上是本週的5篇閱讀分享，來到了第四週真的有點疲乏，整個delay 🤦，最後一週繼續努力 ! ! 💪 💪
