The December Questions 2016
20 questions to reflect on the year gone by.
This year has been an absolute whirlwind. It started rough — I was working too hard, burning myself out, making poor decisions. I knew I had to get myself out of that hole in January, February and in to March. Luckily, I did. Through meditation and a bit of self-awareness, I let go of my sky-high expectations and the stress lifted.
I felt like me again.
Spring and Summer flew by as my girlfriend Jen and I powered through university and graduated in July. Then, in August, we both found good jobs and good places to live.
Which brings us up to now. All is going swimmingly, really. From 16 May to 21 December I spent 220 days writing daily, which, as proud as I am, is tough to call my ‘achievement of the year’ considering I graduated, secured a job and rented a flat to keep myself in Manchester all in the space of a month. But bragging aside (sorry), daily blogging was a massive effort, and even though some days were an utterly miserable slog, I miss it. I gave it up valid reasons, though, and Christmas has been a nice little stretch of down time. My brain needed the refresh.
On the whole, 2016 has been a bit of stinker for many. For me, the year’s end has been kinder than the start. You couldn’t pay me to go back to January, but I’m glad I went through that period. I know myself better now. I know when I can keep going, and I know when I need to stop. I know where I want to be and I know what I need to do to get there.
And I want to know more. I want to be as open and as honest with myself about what I’m doing and where I’m going so that I never stop reflecting on what I know about myself and the world around me.
So, I’m starting something called the December Questions, inspired by the end of year writings of Abby Norman and Jessica Semaan (here + here). The December Questions is a set of 20 questions that I’ll ask and answer to myself every year, as a sort of publicly available self-reflection.
Of course, December seems like as good a month as any to do this reflecting. End of the year, 11 — almost 12 — months behind me, January not far away. There doesn’t seem to be a better time.
Let’s get started.
1. How do you currently feel?
Mentally exhausted and physically unfit. But excited for what 2017 could bring.
2. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Jen and I both working for ourselves and living comfortably. In a decent sized house. Somewhere warm. With a dog.
3. What has pissed you off the most this year?
The lack of loyalty and trustworthiness some people close to me have shown.
4. What has made you the happiest this year?
Getting back behind the camera (even if it was only an iPhone 6S) and creating a film of my Amsterdam trip.
5. How do you let go of stress?
Playing football. Running. Getting outside with Jen.
6. Where do you most want to be right now?
In the gym. I’m not fit.
7. Where do you think you’ll be in a year’s time?
I’m not sure exactly where I’ll be, but I have a feeling it won’t be Manchester.
8. What is your number one goal for next year?
To concentrate my attention on the people that matter, and to avoid giving time and energy to those who don’t.
9. What is currently standing in the way of that goal?
Giving too many chances to those who don’t deserve my time and energy.
10. What is your proudest accomplishment from this year?
How much I smashed it in July. Graduation, a job and a flat all in the space of a month. My year kind of peaked there though.
#HumbleBrag
11. What was your biggest mistake this year?
This is a toss-up between breaking up with Jen and not figuring out a way to get enough freelance clients to stay self-employed. But I’m going to go with the former because Jen will read this.
12. What lesson will you carry forward in to next year?
Try to rely less on others. If I can do something myself, I should do it, even if it takes more time or energy. Relying on someone else takes everything out of your control and only gives that person an opportunity to let you down.
Simple lesson:
Do things yourself.
13. What is your greatest fear?
Working for someone else for the rest of my life.
14. What do you most want to change about yourself?
To be able to relax without feeling guilty. Pretty sure feeling guilty gives me headaches.
15. Who are you thankful for this year?
Jen for keeping me from going back to how I was a year ago. My parents for always being there. And my sister for getting me some — much needed — fresh new creps for Christmas.
16. What is your word of the year?
Tragic.
17. What is your phrase of the year?
Utterly tragic.
18. What skill would you most like to learn?
This is going to be the most boring answer I could’ve possibly given, but I want to learn how to colour grade video. My colourblindness might cause an issue there, though.
19. What do you want to experience most next year?
Spending at least a month in a country I’ve never been to before.
20. How do you want to be feeling exactly a year from now?
Free.
