Acceptance was My First Spiritual Gift in Recovery

When I began my spiritual journey, the first quality in others that I was attracted to was serenity. I didn’t know that I was attracted to the quality of serenity. Instead I was attracted to serene people. I was going to AA and one of the strengths that you are taught in 12 step meetings was to learn how to help others.

The meetings that I volunteered for were overseen by this man that was so calm and peaceful that I knew I wanted whatever he had. Finally one night I asked how he had gotten whatever he had. It was hard for him to define “it”. But he recommended a little pamphlet named “Acceptance”. The booklet taught me two major lessons.

The first lesson was the story of the man in the desert with the whirling dervishes. Someone came up to the man and asked him what he did about the whirling dervishes and he said that he just let them whirl. What a concept! I was beginning to be introduced to detachment and letting it go and change what you can and let the rest go.

The second lesson I learned from the booklet was an illustration that contained an explanation of serenity as picturing a swan beautifully gliding on the surface of the water. But under the water, the swan was paddling furiously in order to go forward. With my thinking at the time, I thought that this seemed dishonest. Such was the power of my brain to distort everything I experienced.

From “Acceptance is key…but it’s complicated”:

“The courage to change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference are crucial additions to the power of acceptance in building a happy life. What are Steve Taylor’s Acceptance poem, the Acceptance Prayer, and the third Ethic of Walking the Red Road not about? They are not about accepting what is not acceptable. We all have our lists of what is acceptable and not acceptable, and these lists will vary. But whatever is on your list — those things you feel passionate about — they fall in the category of ‘Change what you cannot accept’.

You need not accept physical or mental abuse. You need not accept that racism exists so learn to live with it. You need not accept that humans are destroying the planet with their disregard for the environment in order to prop up a status quo economic model. You need not accept human rights abuses at home and around the world.

Some things that are unacceptable to you, you can change by taking charge of your own destiny. Move out. Change jobs. Put your phone down and smell the roses. Add exercise to your routine. Seek help. Reach out to a friend or counselor. Volunteer. Whatever can make the difference for you.

Other things that you feel passionate about may seem too overwhelming to change, too big for one individual to do anything about. You can’t do it alone, so why bother; just accept. But denial can’t be the answer. Every voice counts. Every conscience counts. Every vote counts. Be part of the changes that matter to you.”