We Dare Return
On leaving Trump’s America to return to Germany. Part 1 of 5
My grandfather, a German Jew, left Germany in 1938. It’s the reason I’m here today. His parents had the prescience to get out. It is poetic irony that, almost 80 years later, my family is leaving the United States to return.
Our decision to leave can’t be evaluated without acknowledging the privilege we have to leave. Because my grandfather lost German citizenship when he fled, after the war, the new German government extended citizenship rights back to him, his children and his grandchildren. I learned about this in 2005, when I was still in college and promptly applied. Knowing my family’s history, I’ve always been aware that having a ticket out is a good idea.
The option to leave is a privilege that isn’t shared by millions of Americans, who have been and will increasingly be at risk of being marginalized, imprisoned or killed. Black people, Muslims, gays and women (to name just a few minorities) have always been treated unequally in America. That is likely to get even worse.
Please don’t mistake privilege with ease. The decision to leave the US is the hardest decision we’ve ever had to make. While in the heat of a campaign, “if he wins, I’m leaving,” may feel like a liberating threat, the reality of it feels heart-breaking.
Since we made the decision, I’ve woken up each day, feeling like I’m already living in the past. I feel nostalgia for my everyday life, knowing how much I’m going to miss everything. Our house has never felt more like a home. In every corner there is a reminder of the love and care we’ve put into making this place feel comfortable.
Every friend I see, I miss already.
It means leaving our family. Both my husband and I have living parents who moved to California in the last two years to be closer to us and our son. They live for the time they get to play with their grandson. They rest easier knowing that we’re nearby to help them in an emergency. We value getting to spend time with them in their twilight years. Now we will be an expensive trip and many time zones away from those we love most.
I am pained to think about other families who will be forcibly taken from their homes. We are privileged to have a choice and to travel in comfort. Many immigrants will be taken suddenly from their life and their family. They will have a scary, uncomfortable journey of uncertainty to a place they may not remember or never knew. In fact, this happens already on a smaller scale under President Obama, which means the precedent has been set.
I often think about what it was like for my grandfather to leave the only home he knew for America. I am inspired his bravery, that brought him to fight for the United States against his home country as a Spy in World War II. You can read more about his legacy on Wikipedia or the book about him, They Dared Return The True Story of Jewish Spies Behind the Lines in Nazi Germany. I’ll also be exploring his life and legacy more from Germany and sharing about that here.
Part 2 — Leaving Before Our Bubble Pops
