The Search for Bedtime Tranquility (part 3)

Part 3: Let PopChart help you get the peaceful evenings you crave

Mom, Jonny hit me!! Dad, Sara is being bossy! He pulled my hair! Mommy, Jacob peed on the floor! gross!! Daddy, Sammy just threw up on me on purpose!! Ok the last was a little over the top but you get it. Behaviors can be unpredictable and uncontrollable. At times it feels like herding cats. Just when you think you are in control they throw a kid in the mix. You may have the illusion of control but in reality that is just another of life’s biggest jokes.

Teaching children appropriate behavior can be difficult. So what is appropriate behavior? That is usually best determined in your family. Is there some conformity to social norms that we all learn? Think about what you, as a parent, want your child to learn. What acceptable behaviors are important in your family and help teach them to your child. I do not believe we are born with manners and predetermined social behavior. Children learn these from their environment through observation, example and direct teaching. The use of a point system like PopChart.Family can help establish the good behaviors you are teaching and reinforce the use of those behaviors.

PopChart.Family is a point system in which the whole family can participate in a fun and interactive program through your various electronic devices. PopChart.Family consists of two apps: one for the parents and a connected app for the child to download separately. The parent app is used to set up the whole program. The parent subscribes to PopChart.Family which enables them to give access for their child to download their app. The child is able to create their avatar, communicate task completion to parents for potential points and purchase additional items for their avatar using their hard earned points. The parent develops task, chore and behavior goals they want to establish and put into practice with their children. The parents are then able to award points to their child(ren) when earned. Having the app on your phone enables you to quickly award points whenever and wherever you are. Easy!!

Let’s say you want your child, Jonny to get his pajamas on at night. As the parent you would think about what that means. Are you’re picking out the pajamas and laying them out for Jonny? Is Jonny capable of taking off his clothes? Can he put his own pajamas on? When starting with this new task we need to start where the child’s abilities are. If Jonny is wearing elastic waist pants that is fairly straight forward. A shirt is generally more complicated. A one piece set of pajamas with a zipper is challenging as well. At every effort I would be praising and awarding Jonny excessively. So pants are on. The shirt is next- OOPS! It’s on backwards and inside out. Well at least he tried. Let Jonny glory in his success and give him praise and points. If it doesn’t matter what Jonny is wearing then leave the clothes how they are. A word of advice — only do this when you have time and when the child is willing to try without being cranky. The ‘we do it’ part of ‘I do it, we do it, you do it” is a great way to teach them. Little hints like ‘the tag or writing should be at the back of your neck’ and ‘the smooth seams belongs on the outside’ helps a lot especially when you show them visually. I also found laying the item out in the way you would put it on will help as well. You never thought getting on pajamas could be so hard. What I am really saying is we need to reflect on what is realistic for the child. We have two year olds that teach themselves to get dressed with no problem but then we have four year olds that continue to struggle. When starting out with PopChart.Family give loads of points for any effort and celebrate with clapping and verbal praise. Putting pajamas on can be quite a hard and confusing task. Positive praising and rewarding your child for their efforts helps keep your child motivated during their learning process.

An older child, Joey can do the same thing. Joey may have a set time every day when he needs to have himself ready for bed. If he does this without reminders, Joey can inform you, the parent, by tapping the “Completed” button that promptly gives Joey points. If part of getting off to bed is verifying that homework is completed and Joey brings it to you without reminders, give him points. If he helps with the younger children Joey can get points. Joey can read to the younger children, remind the younger children to brush their teeth and supervise putting on pajamas. Joey would earn points every step of the way. The parent can reinforce this mature and responsible behavior with positive praise and points. This will promote confidence, a sense of giving and feelings of usefulness. A sense of maturity and trust is a great feeling. We all want our children to experience this. PopChart.Family can be an easy and helpful way to bring a positive sense of self to all our children.

So when we are aspiring to create a tranquil environment for bedtime in which we all feel relaxed and grateful for the evening routine remember that PopChart.Family is a big part in the success of reaching this tranquil bedtime routine.

The Search for Bedtime Tranquility series:

• Introduction
• Part 1 — Do they really know what to do?
• Part 2 — How to develop a schedule for a healthy bedtime routine
• Part 3 — Let PopChart help you get the peaceful evenings you crave

About the Author

Anita Licklider has a MS in Educational Management, credentials in special education, general education, counseling and School Psychology. She has over thirty years of experience working with children in and outside the educational setting.

She has done individual and group counseling with kids from 4 years to 16 years old.

Anita also developed and implemented behavior intervention plans for special education and general education students and families. She advocated for kids writing IEP and 504 plans for the school districts.