My Husband Texted the Cruelest Things About Me — to the Woman He Loves
His emotional affair has gone way too far — and now I have to confront him
It’s been two days since I’ve read the texts. Two difficult, uncomfortable days full of emotional whiplash.
I was shocked when I found the messages on my husband’s old phone. Just a couple of days prior, I’d bought him a new one with more storage space because his old one was running so poorly. I had to set it all up for him and switch his account over (it took hours).
My curiosity is notorious. I already knew he’d been having an emotional affair with this woman, and that they are best friends. She’s a fellow filmmaker friend he sometimes works on projects with, and I’ve snooped through their texts once before.
I did talk to my husband about that time I looked through his phone, and I thought we’d moved past it. I’m not upset that he loves this woman or that he’s attracted to her — I’ve shared with him that I truly believe I’m polyamorous. I’m not jealous, and I’ve been open to exploring ethical non-monogamy together.
I am upset, however, at the vile, hateful things he says to her about me. Things he has never, ever said to my face. This is not the transparent ethical non-monogamy that I’m drawn to…
