My Fundamentals — Learn To Be Alone

The darkness of my psyche, the dark trigger points of my home were calling, I had to sit still with my thoughts.

Photo by Noah Silliman on Unsplash

One of the greatest gifts from the pandemic has been to sit in isolation. In addition to the back injury, I had to face something about myself.

I walk and travel a lot; I love being alone away from home because I temporarily lived with my parents; it was a form of escapism. I felt I didn’t belong, and I couldn’t settle into my isolation, so I left every chance I got.

Then a blessing in disguise happened. My injury got worse.

The darkness of my psyche, the dark trigger points of my home were calling, I had to sit still with my thoughts.

I finally jumped into the darkness. I never showed all my sides at home growing up, we all do it, but I may do it more than others. I did it lying on the floor, in pain, in the middle of the night on the floor crying.

Submission for truth and reconciliation.

You don’t have to be physically isolated to be “alone.” Being vulnerable with your thoughts on your own is really the only way. I was afraid to feel the pain, so the universe forced me to.

Now I never felt more productive and happy. I am willing to fail repeatedly to overcome my challenges with work and life. The energy and excitement are back, a long-forgotten feeling from my youth.

The pain of failure doesn’t scare me anymore. I know how to face it alone.

Word count: 241
Twitter: @bhavprajapati

My Fundamentals Series — For the indefinite future, I’ll be writing posts about my renewed fundamentals to live by. I’m not making recommendations or providing medical advice, rather I hope the posts serve as thinking prompts. My intention here is to help people review their own life. I trust readers have the agency and wherewithal to take their own action.

52 | 250 (fifty two | two fifty), a collection of random, recurring, ruminations written with patience for depth and brevity. Each post is written over the course of a week in 250 words or less as a personal exercise of freedom and focus in a time of placid tumult and despair.