Stuttering for Meaning — Part 3/3
I had no self worth so I bolstered it anyway I could
I started writing about how I make fun of my stutter as a form of acceptance and learning some meaning behind it with the help of Moses and his stutter to bear divine truth.
I lied a lot in my youth because I didn’t stutter; it disappeared, I felt normal. I had no self worth so I bolstered it anyway I could, especially towards people. You can placate others through lying, but it will create a painful void that eventually catches up.
I don’t lie anymore. I know who I am, I care less of what others think of me because only I possess the variables to my truth.
Going back to comedy, Plato defined a comedy as a destruction to the self, contrasting with what Aristotle referred to as the rise of a sympathetic character; two actions towards personal truth.
The real comedy to my story is that stuttering saved me; it redirected the lying for self-preservation. I have a real talent for creative truths, a talent that can be misused for greed and pain. Had I not stuttered, I would have still lied and there is no telling what I could’ve gotten away with.
Yet creative truth seeking is the talent we sorely need in a time when more people seek meaning. It’s a responsibility that I’m finally willing to bear because the best way to accept myself is to help others accept themselves.
How?
I have to listen more than speak… something I was born to do.
Word count: 250
Twitter: @bhavprajapati
