This is Part 8 of ‘Gaming Myself Happy’, a blog/journal/review series where I attempt to play the 500 Best Video-Games Of All Time, whilst taking a look at my own mental health and working on getting better. You don’t have to read them all in order, but the full intro and Part 1 can be found HERE.
I was kind of a mess today. I’m definitely experiencing the after-effects of moving house, I’m feeling really low, and I find myself breaking up emotionally at the most random times.
My girlfriend is away with work for a few days, but I’m finding it too hard to be alone right now, and even harder to be alone in a new house. I’ve decided it would be best to stay with my family for the weekend, rather than struggling here by myself, so tomorrow I’ll be travelling the few hours to Wales for a break.
I’m trying to remember that I’m at the early stage of a very long road here, and that I’m especially stretched and exhausted after the last few days. It’s completely normal to be struggling right now.
On a night like this, playing video games feels very comforting. Even going back twenty years, whenever I felt low or scared or alone, games gave me a way to escape and to feel better about myself for a while; and the next title on the list did that exact thing for me tonight.
Game #14: Cave Story
RELEASED: 2004
PLATFORM: PC
REVIEW: “proves that with sufficient vision, skill, and passion, a single developer can still craft a deep, compelling action game” — Electronic Gaming Monthly
This game is SO MUCH my jam, it’s a bit scary. Cave Story is a 2D (CHECK!) difficult (CHECK!) platformer (CHECK!) with exploration (CHECK!) and RPG elements (CHECK!). It couldn’t be a better match, and unlike Super Meat Boy (which felt surprisingly dated), Cave Story feels really great to play even 14 years after release.
Most impressive of all, it was all made by ONE PERSON, a Japanese developer called Daisuke Amaya, in his spare time over a period of five years.
EDITORS NOTE: I find these kind of creative projects incredibly inspiring, where one or two people just pour their love and talent into something that they feel passionate about making, and end up creating something beautiful.
Indie Game: The Movie is an amazing documentary about this process in the context of video games, and I highly recommend checking it out if you’re engaged in any kind of creative work.
When Cave Story was released, it had a massive influence on the gaming world as a whole: it was basically the first big indie platformer, and set the stage for a tidal wave of great games that came afterwards, from Super Meat Boy to Fez, from Braid to my recent all-time favourites Celeste and Hollow Knight.
So yeah, I feel like we all owe some big thanks to Daisuke.
I played Cave Story for a few hours on the train home today, and it’s definitely becoming a new favourite for me. The movement feels fluid and responsive and pure fun; the way you can use your machine gun as a jet pack, firing yourself up into the air with the recoil, is a stroke of genius.
There are also some honest-to-God shocking moments in the game (which I don’t want to spoil as you should totally play it yourself), and they’re presented in a very natural and clever way, shown through the gameplay and visuals rather than just written in a text box, which creates so much more of an impact.
I genuinely felt sad at some of the story events, and for such a simple game I became surprisingly invested in what was happening. There’s a serious amount of heart here, with great characters that you actually care about.
That last boss rush though… phew! This game gets TOUGH, and I didn’t even unlock the secret super-hard ‘True’ ending. I guess it gives me something to come back for in the future.
Honestly, this feels like an old SNES classic that everyone should play, and as the original version is still free (with a deluxe version for just a few quid on Steam), I recommend everyone in the Universe to go and play it RIGHT NOW.
With Cave Story finished, I’ve finally arrived home in Wales, and all the craziness of the past week is behind me. I can slow down again, get some rest, and go back to taking those tiny steps; and even if I take a few backwards steps, that’s alright too. I’m learning (slowly and repeatedly) to be patient and kind towards myself, and to not feel guilty for taking the time I need to get better.
I look forward to catching up on this list while I’m home. I have a couple of real gems coming up!
Game #15: Ori And The Blind Forest
RELEASED: 2015
PLATFORM: PC / Xbox One
REVIEW: “few other games can match the polished gameplay and humbling difficulty of this charming little fella.” — Critical Hit
From one fantastic 2D indie Metroidvania platformer with emotional moments to another: Ori & The Blind Forest is already a favourite of mine from the last few years, and even though I completed it recently I’m really looking forward to giving it another go.
Just like Cave Story, this slots right into my video-game sweet spot, and especially in my current exhausted state it’s like a cup of hot chocolate on a cold stormy night.
The start of the game feels just like the opening moments of a Pixar movie: heart-wrenching and tear-inducing. Goddamn it, I’m NOT READY for another emotional game right now. I’m not ashamed to admit that I got the feels shooting through me in a major way, and the entire intro is a beautiful and memorable sequence that will really test your tear-ducts.
Once the actual game starts though, I’m back to smiling again. Just like Cave Story, this game feels so fun to control. It’s a pleasure simply moving around the environment, and I find myself wanting to see everything it has to offer all over again.
The world itself is completely stunning. Just a quick look at the screenshots will prove that (although there’s nothing like seeing it in action). There are peaceful lakes, creepy woods, and raging volcanoes, and it’s all beautifully animated and designed, bringing to mind those Pixar movies once again.
The music is real heart-string-pulling stuff, going right for the emotions with soaring strings and high angelic vocals. This game REALLY wants to make me cry, whatever it takes; and to be honest, it’s a little off-putting by the end. Don’t get me wrong, parts of the soundtrack are stunning, but it’s also trying a bit too hard to make me feel something.
Compare this to Cave Story, where I felt emotions at completely unexpected times, with no need for a big musical score or long video sequence to push me. The big story moments in that game were blunt and gut-punching, and felt more closely tied to my own actions as a player. The similar moments in Ori feel separate to the gameplay, told through videos that feel like a break from what you’re doing.
It’s not bad by any means, but after playing Cave Story it doesn’t feel as effective. I guess I just prefer a more subtle touch (as they say).
There are a couple of things that keep this from feeling like a truly great game to me: first, it’s super short. I know I’ve played it before, but I easily completed it in only four hours today, and the ending feels a little anticlimactic. Again, what’s there is very well done, but I felt like I could easily have gone for twice as long.
Secondly, the fighting system is pretty lame. You don’t directly attack enemies in Ori; instead, when you’re close enough to a monster you hammer a single button to make your spirit companion attack for you. It feels more like mindless button-mashing than actual combat, and it’s definitely the weakest part of the game.
Maybe I’m being a bit hard on Ori, so let me just say: I fully recommend this game. I really enjoyed replaying it today, and I’m pumped for the upcoming sequel. The world is stunning, the controls are pure joy, and there are moments where all the pieces come together perfectly, like in the brilliantly intense escape sequences.
There is SO much going on in these sections, and it’s thrilling to play through: the peaks of this game are really high, and it’s well worth a play for any platforming fans. Go check it out!
These last few games have made the project feel SO easy and enjoyable, I feel like I’m getting away with something; surely I must be due for something sloggy and boring soon?
Game #16 (FAIL): Fable 2
RELEASED: 2008
PLATFORM: Xbox 360
REVIEW: “…a boundary-pushing experience that players will still be exploring long after the hype has faded.” — Variety
Right on time, here’s my second fail of this ultra-endurance gaming marathon. Fable 2 was never released outside of the Xbox 360, and as my old 360 died in the infamous Red-Ring Plague of the 00’s, I can’t find a way to actually play it. Still, two no-plays out of the first 16 games isn’t that bad, especially when I was anticipating a 1-in-5 fail-rate.
Fable is one of those series that I’ve never even touched, although I was always aware of it’s popularity. As I’m having a really cosy day after my hectic house-move weekend, I’ve found a Let’s Play series online and I’m going to settle in to watch someone else play a game for once.
I wonder why it’s so relaxing to watch other people play games sometimes? In some of the darkest times of the past couple years, the one thing able to calm down my chaotic, self-hating brain was to watch hours of other people speed-running video games.
And I mean hours: as in, I watched two full weeks worth of 24/7 charity speed-running marathons. I’m not sure that it was healthy or helpful in the long run, but sometimes it was all I could do to slip into fully passive mode and watch a group of people hanging out and playing video games really quickly. Maybe I’m strange.
EDITORS NOTE: For those who don’t know, speed-runners take a particular video game and figure out the best ways to completely break it, with the aim of getting to the end in the shortest time possible by any means necessary.
If you’ve never seen this before, check out a guy 100% completing Super Mario 64 in 101 minutes. Wild.
So I settle in to watch a bit of Fable 2, and the YouTuber is pretty funny and relaxed, explaining little facts about the game as she goes, which makes for a very chilled watch. 10/10 for the host.
I’m not sure how I feel about the actual game though. It’s hard to pass judgment on something I haven’t even played, but there’s something about the mood of Fable that never really appealed to me. Maybe it’s the cutesy fairytale setting, or the extra-mild cheesy comedy, but it just doesn’t do anything for me.
For instance, a butler appears at the castle doors and he’s literally called Jeeves, and it seems like the game’s winking and nudging you as if that’s supposed to be hilarious, but I just find it distracting and off-putting and intensely not-funny.
Actually, why are video games in general so bad at comedy? I’m pretty sure Grim Fandango made me laugh once or twice, but there’s nothing that even comes close to my favourite comedy shows or films, like Bojack Horseman or What We Do In The Shadows or Naked Gun or The Office (UK version please). Most video game jokes just tend to fall flat for me, feeling awkward and badly timed. I’ll keep an eye out for better examples as this project continues.
As the Let’s Play continues, my feeling of ‘meh’ continues to grow. Fable 2 seems to be built around the idea of making moral choices, deciding what kind of character you want to be; but this whole idea of a ‘Good vs Evil’ meter feels so out-of-date and over-simplified that it’s hard to imagine a time when it felt revolutionary. You make a simple binary choice, and watch the meter swing to either side. The options are always really obvious, so it feels like they’re being shoved in your face: here’s the GOOD DECISION, and here’s the BAD DECISION.
My issue is that there’s just no subtlety to it, (and like I said, I prefer a subtle touch) beyond asking a simple question: you good or you bad?
And WOAHHHH okay, the mood of this game is all over the place! It suddenly twisted from twee cutesy humour to child-murder. Where did that come from? It’s a complete U-turn and doesn’t work for me at all. I’m completely thrown and confused by the vibe of this entire game.
I apologise if you’re a fan of Fable 2 (and I genuinely welcome your comments about why I’m wrong) but my reaction to this game is one big shrug. I watched the Let’s Play for about an hour, but I feel really done with it. I expect that the original Fable will appear at some point further down this list, so the series may still have a chance to redeem itself, but for now I’m putting my foot down and moving on.
Game #17: Star Fox 64
RELEASED: 1997
PLATFORM: N64
REVIEW: “…a stunning, state-of-the-art space opera.” — TotalGames.net
Hooray! It’s the first Nintendo 64 game on the list, and the nostalgia train has officially left the station.
I don’t know if there was ever a console in my life (not even the Dreamcast) that I wanted as much as the N64. As a kid it seemed like a magical dream-machine; I still remember walking into my local video-rental shop and being blown away by seeing Mario’s 3D face on the TV screen for the first time.
Sadly I was a PlayStation kid, and although I loved that console, you always want what you can’t have. When I saw games like Banjo Kazooie, GoldenEye and Mario Kart, I just felt jealous that my poor little Sony machine couldn’t play them.
Star Fox 64 is another title that filled me with wonder back then. I was nine years old when it came out, but the first level is still burned into my brain (mostly from watching other kids play on ‘Bring-A-Toy-To-School Day’) as you pilot a fighter-ship across the surface of a grassy planet, taking down enemy jets and dodging obstacles. I especially loved how chatty it all was: your teammates would talk to you throughout the mission (with real voice-acting!), asking for help and cracking jokes as they rescued you from enemy fire.
23 years later, and playing this game tonight felt like a gift to my inner child. It didn’t blow me away with its gameplay (which is no surprise as it’s getting pretty old by now), but I remembered how it felt to that nine-year-old version of me, the kid who had never seen anything like it before, and it brought a little touch of magic to my day.
This whole game is a non-stop barrage of nostalgia: from that familiar opening mission, to the second level where you fly through an asteroid field, to the stage where you have to drive a tank (which I had completely forgotten about), and that final boss battle with the giant creepy evil space-monkey Andross.
That’s some nightmare fuel right there.
I was surprised to find that the game was fairly easy to beat; from my limited past experience I remember it being way harder than this. I guess I’m better at games now then I was 23 years ago, which is a nice self-esteem boost. On the other hand, there are multiple routes through the game, and I’m pretty sure there’s some kind of super-secret FINAL final boss in there too, so I may have just avoided all the most challenging parts.
Star Fox 64 is kind of simple by today’s standards, but it was also a lot of fun, a quick and cosy blast from the past, and a perfect way to spend a really chilled evening. As the credits rolled, I noticed a familiar name:
Shigeru Miyamoto, the video-game legend: the man who created Mario, Donkey Kong, F-Zero, Zelda, and so many other game series that have brought immense amounts of joy and magic to people all over the world. It was really cool to see his name pop up after such a relaxing hour of gaming, and it’s pretty wild to think about the impact he’s had through his incredible creativity.
Here’s to you, Shigeru!
Things are going well. I badly needed a day like this after the stress of last week, and I’m pleased to report that my mental state tonight is calm and settled.
And shit, we’re only at the 484th best game ever. IT CAN ONLY GET BETTER, BABY!
