The Problem with “Summon Monster I”

Glig 1:1

Mikey Hamm
Glig
2 min readJun 10, 2016

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Glig was brought here by an 11th level summoner, who had stumbled across some hungry murder-giants before getting the rest she needed to cast anything but her least powerful spells.

So one minute Glig was at home eating dinner, then six seconds later he and 1–4 of his relatives were in a strange land, strategically positioned between the exhausted summoner and a thousand hitpoints worth of angry, club-wielding muscle.

It’s a common belief that summoned creatures shoot back home, unharmed, when either A) the summoner sends them back B) the summoner dies C) the spell runs out or D) something happens to the summoned creature that would otherwise kill them, which is why Glig was so surprised when hot, wet pieces of his cousin Glinda landed near his foot. These were followed by pieces of his cousin Glok, pieces of his cousin Gleb, and finally, pieces of the summoner herself.

So as Glig stood there, trembling, covered in cousin pieces, covered in summoner pieces, watching the murder-giants lumber away bored, he realized that only A was likely true at all, and that he was stuck here, on a foreign plane of reality, with nothing but a knife, a fork, a mouthful of his wife’s roasted potatoes, and whatever was in the dead summoner’s pockets.

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Mikey Hamm
Glig
Editor for

Psionic crocodiles, 80s-style horror, and teens with rayguns. Written and illustrated by me. www.mikeyhamm.com