12 risks you are taking if you are not loving yourself enough!
Self-love as a concept, is fairly common — almost everyone has heard of it.
But, its potential is rarely realized or put into REAL practice.
Do you wonder, WHY?
Because, we have never been taught to love and value ourselves.
We consider it a badge of honor to give ourselves (emotions, ideas, opinions, views, wishes, desires etc.) a backseat.
Recall the last time, you heard some appreciating people:
- who act as main characters of their lives,
- who compliment themselves, or
- who are their biggest cheerleaders
We have been conditioned to wait for external validation when it comes to appreciating.
So, if someone pats their own back, most often than not — it is considered boastful or horn blowing.
We commonly label these people as ‘Narcissists’ because it is easier to do so, right?
And of course, why appreciate someone who shows the courage to stand out of the crowd?!
However, I deeply feel that our biggest responsibility as a human is to LOVE ourselves wholeheartedly before anyone else does.
ONLY then we could be available/present for the outside world.
Heard of, “You can only pour from your cup when your cup is full”? — same thing! 😊
Moreover, if you practice self-love — you would exactly know what is the kind of love you deserve and what is something, you can offer.
Personally, I don’t see any down-side of loving and accepting oneself.
Any given day, this road is worth taking. It is never too late to start.
However, I do see few probable risks you would put yourself into - if you don’t love, value, or respect yourself, ENOUGH!
Read these pointers to suit yourself on either of the two below;
- EITHER hints pointing that you don’t love yourself enough yet
- OR probable risks, if you don’t choose to embark on the journey soon
1. You don’t value yourself
You are mostly okay with bare minimum; you don’t consider yourself worthy of a good life. You often question your opinions, dreams, or desires.
You struggle to express yourself because you don’t validate your emotions to be even acknowledged, forget expression.
You let others treat you like a trash bag. You don’t set your boundaries right.
2. You don’t feel enough
You often feel something is missing. You feel insecure about the idea of self.
You place yourself at the fence of constant comparison. Also, this one is often disguised with an yearn to improve, chasing perfection.
Sure, please become better and aim continuous improvement but not at the cost of non-acceptance of current state of mind, body, emotions etc.
3. You struggle to be present for others
You are almost never able to raise your head out of the arenas of your life. You might as well be physically present with people, but mentally you are absent because you are just knitting/re-knitting your own stuff.
You never really compliment anyone with your whole heart — not because you are bad as a person, but you have not given yourself the chance to look beyond anything but your own life.
You consider your problems, biggest of all problems in the world. You see yourself as a victim.
4. You struggle to bring your true self forward
You are always conscious of yourself — one day it could be your hair, another day your walk, next day something else. You struggle to smile with your whole heart.
You rarely put forth your opinions, views, ideas. You constantly feel the need of a veil, covering the REAL YOU.
You feel suffocated, as if you are not enjoying life. Your majority inputs are for the people around, and not your own self. You are often stiff (physically & emotionally).
5. You struggle to accept yourself
Most likely, you are afraid to face yourself. Your imperfections scare you. You avoid looking at yourself in public mirrors because that could crush your confidence, majority of which lies in external validation.
You struggle to accept yourself in transition period. You are over critical with yourself. You are mostly unkind to self. You do trash self-talk, daunting, passing rude comments for self.
6. You don’t enjoy your company
You don’t like yourself. Your thoughts scare you. You question yourself in a very daunting way. You are always looking for company, not because you enjoy someone’s company but because you want to escape your own company.
You really struggle to meditate and sit quiet with self. You say ‘Yes’ for everything. You don’t have boundaries for self. You don’t know your ‘beautiful’ self.
7. You are always looking for external validation
Your idea of self often lies in the perception of the world, around you. Number of likes, reposts, compliments, agreements etc. really matter to you.
Someone sharing a negative comment for you, really puts you off guard. You rarely do anything which is not validated by anyone. You are ALWAYS looking for validation either on your looks, opinions, judgements, decisions etc. You are not a great decision-maker.
This is a very dangerous state to be in because you have given all your power to the outside world.
Think of it, anybody can just play you like a button because of lacking self-idea, self-worth.
8. You are not receptive of love
You don’t consider yourself worthy enough for a great compliment, achievements, or truest form of love. If someone expresses their love for you or compliments you, you get very uncomfortable.
You get numb by someone’s expression of love for you, you don’t know how to respond. You nudge their expression of gratefulness, compliments, or love because you are uncomfortable.
9. You are vulnerable to settle for less than you deserve
Because you don’t comprehend your value. Your real worth.
You are putting yourself at the risk of accepting bare minimum or simply something which is less than what you really deserve. You don’t have a benchmark for self. You don’t have non-negotiables for yourself.
10. You struggle to accept constructive criticism
Most often than not, you take things personally. You have left yourself hanging by the loop alone without any real idea of self.
Hence, when someone has a negative opinion of you — you think of it as your reality. You are unable to see the far-sightedness of that criticism.
11. You don’t take care of yourself
You don’t take care of yourself.
Your body. Your mind. Your well-being. Your emotions.
None of these, are a part of your priorities. You are not putting a conscious effort to improve and become better for your future self.
12. You might come across as needy
Sadly, this one is VERY true. Because you are unable to create your own happiness, fill your own bucket of love, compliment yourself etc. — you are always looking for these things from the outside world.
And sometimes you might not have people to fulfil these things for you for any ‘xyzzy’ reasons. In those cases, you might come across as clingy, emotionally dependent and to be honest, not very attractive.
And that was it!
I really hope, these 12 pointers make you interested in starting your self-love journey.
Let me put it forth for you, a lot of US (including myself) once had almost all these points ticked.
Only until some of us decided to change that reality.
So, if you haven’t started it — that is absolutely OKAY!
Also, Self-love is a journey and not a destination.
Even today, people who claim themselves to be self-lovers still go-through hard emotions, question themselves, fail to recognize their emotions, bash themselves, victimize themselves and sometimes even surrender their powers.
That is fine, end of the day — we are all Humans.
But guess what?!
The goal is not to be the ‘biggest self-lover’ in the world or not to have any hard emotions ever in life but to acquaint with the concept and embark on the journey, to be able to pick ourselves on bad, very hard days.
AND I promise you are never going to regret walking on this road.
Your future self is going to thank you.
You need your love, RIGHT NOW!
GO FOR IT! ❤
With Love,
TS
If you are interested to learn more, read this post to understand
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