Mental What?
How to Have a Conversation About Mental Health
Over the past ten years or so there has been an increase in conversation related to mental health. Overall, this has probably been a helpful societal conversation to have and it seems to be removing some of the stigma related to decisions to see a therapist.
However, some of the conversations have been less helpful. For example, in the wake of many mass shootings, there is often a discussion of the mental health challenges of the shooter.
While this can be a truthful and necessary conversation, it is often over-sensationalized by new media outlets and can leave the general public feeling as though everyone who is facing a mental health challenge is a potential mass shooter (which is completely untrue ).
This has led me to begin thinking about how we can have a productive and healthy conversation about mental health topics with one another. This type of conversation will look a bit different depending on who is having it.
For example, talking to your child about mental health will be different than talking to your friend. We’re going to go over some general principles, as well as, some slightly more specific scenarios.
Listen
The most important part of talking with someone about their mental health is the ability to listen to them in a way that allows them to feel heard. This means that we aren’t interrupting or just sitting quietly until it’s our turn to speak.
It means actively listening to what they are sharing and actively engaging with it. If you are unfamiliar with active listening, I wrote an article on it a little while back. I’d suggest giving it a read to get an idea of what we’re talking about here.
Assume a Non-Judgmental Stance
Topics such as mental health carry a significant amount of weight in our society. We have certainly come a long way when it comes to having open discussions but there is still a great deal of stigma attached to mental health.
If we are going to talk to our friends, families, co-workers, etc then we must make sure we are entering the conversation with a non-judgmental stance. They need to know we are here to listen, support, and help (if possible).
We are not here to pass judgment on the morality of their challenge. We are simply here to, again, listen, support, and help where we can. I can’t emphasize the importance of this enough. Take a non-judgmental stance.
Ask Questions
This might feel uncomfortable if you aren’t familiar with mental health topics. And that’s ok! Being uncomfortable can be a good thing. It is often where we learn the most.
Our comfort in a given situation is far less important than the person who is struggling. If we are going to talk about mental health, we must get comfortable with asking questions.
Some examples of questions that would be helpful are:
- I’ve been worried about you lately. Can we talk about how you’ve been feeling? Is there someone else you might be more comfortable talking to?
- It seems light you’re in a tough spot right now. How can I connect you with someone who can help?
Talking with Your Kids About Mental Health
As parents, we are always worried about something with our children. Are they sick? Are they learning what they need to in school? Are they staying out of trouble? Do they have friends?
The list goes on and on. Mental health challenges certainly enter that list somewhere along the way. The questions you should use when talking to your child about mental health are similar to the ones listed above. You can also try these:
- Can you tell me more about what is happening?
- How you are feeling?
- Have you had feelings like this in the past?
- Sometimes you need to talk to an adult about your feelings. I’m here to listen. How can I help you feel better?
- Do you feel like you want to talk to someone else about your problem?
Again, do your best to make sure your child feels safe and that they feel heard. Additionally, we are not always the best person to talk to our kids about mental health.
This could be because we are uncomfortable with the topic or aren’t sure what to say. It can also be because our children might feel as though they are causing us pain or letting us down by discussing their own challenges.
If this is the case, find another adult you trust who is a regular, stable part of your child’s life and offer to have them talk to your child. And if that isn’t possible, you can always find your child professional support.
Tips to Keep In Mind
If you are worried about someone and want to initiate a conversation, make sure you are comfortable connecting with others. When you begin the conversation, speak in a straightforward manner.
Make sure that you are speaking in a way that is appropriate for the person’s age and/or developmental abilities. Do your best to make the person feel safe and comfortable. If the person appears to become overwhelmed, recognize it and ask if they need a break.
Mental health can be a heavy topic. It can be confusing and uncomfortable. However, if we approach these conversations with love, grace, humility, and are prepared with some questions and listening skills, it doesn’t have to be the worst conversation of our lives.
None of us hesitate to take our kids or our friends to the doctor when they are sick. Mental health is about addressing another part of who we are as people. It is simply doing what we can to make sure that we and our loved ones are as healthy as we can be!
Originally published at https://www.graceanddepravity.com.
