Midseason NBA League Pass Watchability Rankings: The Top Half
In Part 2, Serge and Brandon laud the most fun teams in the NBA. Some things have changed, but Philly is still #1…
Not all basketball is good. Just ask the Charlotte Hornets fan, if you happen to know him (I think he moved to Raleigh). Some NBA is worth tuning in, but only for the final five minutes. Other teams are worth watching from the tip, and that’s what the NBA League Pass rankings are all about.
We already covered the least watchable teams in the league. You won’t find Elfrid Payton here, no lethargic Pistons sets, and for the love of God, no Dwight Howard. You don’t need to worry about overzealous Boston homerism either. We left them in the bottom half, too.
Up here, the air is more rarefied. Here we watch Dame and Bron, Russ and KD, Wall and Beard. This is the land of unicorns, with a Porzingis or a Giannis round every corner. Here the basketball is good, really good. Good all game.
serge and I ranked all the teams preseason (30-to-13 and 12–to-1), but a lot has changed. Toronto is actually fun now! It’s a wild, new world. So crack open a beer and let’s watch some real basketball. Which teams will hold our attention as the NBA season hits its stride?
IF ONLY THEY’D TRY EVERY NIGHT…
15. Washington Wizards (previous rank: 7)
14. San Antonio Spurs (8)
13. Cleveland Cavaliers (10)
12. Sacramento Kings (18)
11. New York Knicks (19)
10. Portland Blazers (14)
Brandon
Two great teams, two teams with great point guards, and the two biggest trainwrecks in the league. Knicks, I get. Porzingis is fun, even if he started blossoming before our eyes then stopped after he hit the two-month wall like the flower on E.T., just like every other season. Plus, Frankie and Beasley!
But putting the Kings above LeBron, Kawhi, and Wall is unforgivable. I had the Kings at 21, and only because I want to see guys like Fox and WCS and Bogdan-Squared develop. Their court is a purple haze and makes me think my TV is in Standard Definition every time, and their coaching staff and front office couldn’t run a proper curling team. They’re a disaster and I don’t enjoy watching them. And you have them in your top five!! Defend yourself.
Serge
I watch the Kings for exactly zero basketball reasons. I mean, I like De’Aaron Fox and Willie Trill a whole bunch, but they’re not worth the price of admission. I just like to suspend myself in the aura of incompetence and dysfunction of a team that gave 40-year-old Vince Carter eight million dollars. The city of Sacramento is always fun, their commentators have a distinct air of self-loathing about them, and they have Baby Races. Match that with the A1 court and amazing uniforms and I’m all in on the Kings. You have to have one trainwreck top five.
Brandon
We already have the Fightin’ LaVars, so I’m all set, thanks. The Wizards are fun but only when they’re pissed. The Blazers aren’t as fun this year, but whatever. The Spurs worry me, just because this Kawhi thing is starting to scare me and Pop is a wizard but I don’t want to watch Bryn Forbes and Davis Bertans light some poor random team up. The Cavs snuck into my top ten, effort be damned. LeBron is always worth watching before his body disintegrates, and I’m excited to see how IT4 energizes this squad.
It’s Friday night and you’re firing up League Pass. Would you rather fire up the Spurs and see if they’re playing any varsity players or flip over to the Cavs and see if they can be bothered to give a rip?
Serge
Spurs every time because Pop is a marvel. I never understood why people keep comparing him and Belichick when they’re entirely different. Bill is an asshole and trash human. Pop has a worse team than the LMA Blazers and he’s going to get another 50-win season. Though LeBron is still must-watch because he’s LeBron and because we’re at a stage where saying “he might be the greatest ever” doesn’t feel like blasphemy anymore.
Brandon
Still blasphemy.
OUR TEAMS
9. Toronto Raptors (previous rank: 24)
8. Minnesota Timberwolves (4)
Serge
The Raptors made the biggest jump for me. As a self-certified Raps agnostic, I catch myself not able to skip any of their games. I was at the Golden State game when we made that massive comeback, and the atmosphere was electric. I’ve been publicly caught saying this is the best Raptors team we’ve ever had and campaigning to have DeRozan in top five MVP voting. I even tweeted one of those #NBAVote tweets for him. Who am I?!
There are still a multitude of problems, like why are we paying JV so much money and can we sustain this in the playoffs, but this team is almost 12 deep and everyone is a factor. OG Anunoby looks like a steal (the Bruno that was promised), and imagine if Norm was still NORM. This team has legitimate Conference Finals potential.
Brandon
I’m not quite ready to put Costco into the MVP race, but I’m glad he’s finally good. Tough to be the best Raptor of all time when you’ve never even been the best Raptor on your own team. Toronto was a high riser for me, too. They’re actually fun to watch now.
And screw you, so are the Timberwolves. You ranked them in the bottom half of the league! I had them 3rd, which is maybe a slot or three high, but Jimmy Butler is one of the most likable players in the NBA and this is his team now. They’re finally playing the right way, finally playing defense, and finally having fun (as much fun as you can have with an ogre yelling at you for two hours every night). You ranked the Wolves behind the Pacers! Unforgivable.
Serge
I haven’t watched more than three Wolves games this year, and perhaps that’s user error, but until it’s playoff time and Taj Gibson has to wheel an oxygen tank around the court, I’m unconvinced. For everything good about them, I keep remembering how much money they gave Andrew Wiggins and how Thibs doesn’t understand science. They’re getting better so perhaps I’ll issue a user adjustment halfway through the second half.
Brandon
Come on, you root for the team that gave DeMar DeRozan 700 billion dollars, have a little sympathy on the Wiggins contract. I can’t believe you’re gonna sit here and slander Maple Jordan like that.
Anyway, let the record show that my team beat yours right here in this article. So at least one of my teams beat yours this week.
SHOULDN’T FUN BE A LITTLE… FUNNER?
7. Denver Nuggets (previous rank: 9)
6. Oklahoma City Thunder (2)
5. Milwaukee Bucks (3)
Brandon
Feels like we could’ve also called this tier Three Teams Everyone Really Wants to Be Good But Darn It Why Can’t They Figure Things Out… which, again, the Timberwolves are *not* part of anymore. These teams all feel like they’re one piece away.
Serge
Denver can’t figure out who their starting point guard is (*looks around, whispers* it’s Murray) and are still missing one shiny slightly-used Millsap. Jokic is too damn fun to care, though.
Milwaukee is a drag and I’d honestly have them much lower if not for Giannis. Jason Kidd was long past his expiration date. Milwaukee holding onto him was like my grandma clinging to the last of her Beanie Babies thinking they’ll go back up in value. They’re so much better on paper.
Brandon
How dare you slander Beanie Babies. There’s bears named after dead princesses! There’s teeny McDonald babies and wrong-colored elephants! There’s even Spot the Dog without a spot!! This stuff is genius. Beanie Babies are the new bitcoin. All those Tupperwares full of Beanie Babies in my mom’s basement are worth their weight in gold. I guess what I’m trying to say is, Beanie Babies might be worthless but they’re still more valuable than 11 OKC players standing around watching Russ do Russ things.
Serge
Ah OKC, most definitely not fun for the first month, but then they realized it’s better to just let Russ be Russ since he has no idea how to be anyone else. It’s been fun watching each of the “big three” slowly figure out their new roles in this mess and make it a viable situation. Bonus question, how hard and where do you think you have to hit Steven Adams for him to even flinch?
Brandon
OKC and Milwaukee were fallers for me. I’m still gonna tune in, but these teams frustrate me with so many mismatched parts and poor coaching. I never thought Billy Donovan would actually make me miss Scotty Brooks. Watching the Thunder or Bucks for more than an hour just makes me want to spend the rest of the night on the Trade Machine.
YOU WANT POINTS? WE GOT POINTS.
4. Houston Rockets (previous rank: 11)
3. Golden State Warriors (6)
Serge
I feel like I betrayed myself, but the Rockets are genuinely fun. It’s pure basketball cocaine spreading the floor and shooting threes while James Harden deconstructs ankle after ankle. Plus, they added Gerald Green who should have his jersey retired after being ready to ride for his teammates on a one-year contract 20 days in. Chris Paul should pay his fine.
There’s also the inevitable feeling that it will come crashing down and I take particular glee in watching Chris Paul tantrum out when things don’t go his way. We either get aesthetically pleasing basketball or a Chris Paul daytime soap opera. Win-win.
Brandon
I’m so excited to spend May not watching Ws-Rox in the WCF because Houston somehow managed to blow it again despite the fact that CP3, Harden, and Capela are still undefeated together.
The Ws are 11–3 with KD and no Curry, a 65-win pace. They’re 7–0 with Steph and no Durant. That’s an 82-win pace. There are 82 games in the season. The Warriors would be undefeated without KD. Kevin Durant still does not belong on the Warriors. QED.
Serge
Up until the last comment I wasn’t sure if you were actually Kevin Durant or one of his fake accounts. I can’t really say much for these teams. They’re good. We get it.
Brandon
And they’re fun because that one minute 8–0 run can come at any turn, and they bring out the best in their opponent every single night.
THE FUTURE
2. Los Angeles Lakers (previous rank: 5)
1. Philadelphia 76ers (1)
Brandon
We made it. The future. Both of us had the Lakers top three. Both of us had Joel Embiid #1. These teams are just fun to watch grow and figure everything out night by night. I say scrap the entire All-Star Weekend experience and just let Joel and Lonzo draft guys from these two teams and square off. Who’s Lonzo taking with the first pick?
Serge
LaMelo. We both know that. The Lakers are somewhat figuring it out and they are actually better with Lonzo on the court, the problem is Lonzo comes with a LaVar-shaped suitcase that contains a broken stereo. This Lakers team is intriguing not only for now but for speculation of the future. Kuzma looks like a steal and Randle is actually bringing value to the table. They’re fun, minus the whole LaVar situation.
The 76ers have two of the ten most watchable players in the league. There’s no one I’d rather watch than Joel any given night. You literally get everything with him. Shooting, post-up, defense, passing, entertainment, and an occasional fight. I take back everything bad I’ve ever said about Ben, too. His control is amazing and he is indeed a true point guard. I don’t think it matters much if Fultz comes back this year except for the Celtics fans who probably have books worth of Danny Ainge think-pieces if he doesn’t. Who do you think throws a better spiral, Markelle Fultz or Nick Foles? Now I’m sad.
Brandon
I’m apparently alone, but I’m just not that worried about Markelle Fultz yet. Dude is hurt, and sitting out a rookie season to watch and learn seemed to sit just fine with Embiid and Simmons. I want Philly to trade some of their war chest for a good-shooting off-ball point guard, then bring Fultz and Saric off the bench. We want this team in the playoffs. We need this team in the playoffs. Every Sixers game is must-watch because we don’t know how long we get these guys, and they need every single game. Sixers Playoff Watch will be the only thing left to care about in March and April NBA.
Serge
How many Colangelos does it take to ruin The Process? Apparently just the younger one. I’m watching every Sixers game with a weird sense of doom that he’s somehow going to ruin this for all of us, for the city of Philadelphia and for the world. We must enjoy them as long as they play together.
Brandon
Not that I would ever wish bad things on the entire city of Philadelphia or anything…
If you enjoyed this piece, give it a few claps 👏 👏 so others see it too! Follow Brandon on Medium or @wheatonbrando for more sports and humor, and find serge on Medium or @sergetacular. Visit Brandon’s writing archives here.
