Fourth week’s assignment
The Dark force in action…
This week I though It would be ‘my’ week, I will be shining…we explored the topic of leading with generosity and I have always considered myself a very generous person.
Ah, you never finish to learn! Week 4 was probably one of the least generous weeks of my life. We were requested to do three act of generosity every day and record them on Slack and I only wrote a couple of days. I didn’t even feel like posting on Friday (I am posting now, 3 days later). It was a really bad week last one.
What was going on? Do you ever feel like you are battling with yourself? I have been feeling like that all my life. It’s a driving force that pulls you down and pushes you up constantly. It’s like if the Darth Vader’s dark force and the Jedi’s light side were coexisting in me. They also seem to provoke each other, like when I am too positive and happy the little other voice emerges to re-establish a balance. I usually have the Jedi driving most of the time, but last week the dark force prevailed.
I asked myself if I did it on purpose as a way to practice my immunity change map form Week 3 and experience failing (i.e. missing the posting deadline for Friday) or if that was uncontrollable. I didn’t really reach a conclusion and to be honest I don’t care. I think I am now learning how to live with this uncertain and constantly changing environment (both inside and outside me).
I discovered something new this week. I am not that Mother Teresa that people think I am accordingly to Adam Grant’s test. I scored 53% giver only!!! I was expecting a 70% at least.
At first I got disappointed, I call a friend that I consider ‘meaner’ than me and asked him to do the test. He scored 60% giver! I then went into denial (the test is wrong and doesn’t get my nuances right?) but then I finally felt liberated from a label that I usually let people tag me with. Thanks Adam!
This week has started much better and me and the Jedi are determined to get the most out of our last Leadwise Academy week :)
