Community-Care
Self-Care, but in good company
What is community-care?
Last week, I talked about my experience as an empath and community leader at Groove, and how I care for myself by scheduling alone time for myself, nurturing my creativity, and taking time away from screens. But self-care can take many forms, and it doesn’t always mean you’ll be on your own. Self-care can also look like community-care: receiving support and energy from doing things with others. Here’s how I engage in community-care:
Supportive groups and mentorship
Recently, I participated in Coa’s 8-week course on emotionally fit leadership. This winter, I hit a point in my work where I was overwhelmed with the emotions of growing a community. Joining the Coa sessions was something I did to actively hold space for myself each week to talk through these emotions. It was really helpful for creating actionable steps forward in some of the emotional challenges I was experiencing.
One of my favorite A-HA moments from that course came from a fellow participant mentioning the idea that my “empathy tank might be running low.” She understood how draining it can feel to hold people’s emotions as I do, why I do it, and how it’s a superpower that needs to be replenished. But even our superpowers have limits; I can’t operate at 100mph without taking breaks to refuel. Operating without breaks was a behavior of mine I was familiar with in college, and attending this course reminded me I was still learning how to hold my own feelings, and my community’s, in the same high regard.
I also recently participated in Community Club’s Mentorship Program. Through this, my mentor shared the concept of the spoon theory, which originated as a metaphor describing how folks with disabilities may experience energy gains and drains differently throughout the day.
My mentor illustrated how this spoon theory can relate to the work of community leaders. Throughout the day, community leaders may “give out a lot of spoons”. By the nature of our work, we share our energy with others often throughout the day: hosting events, 1:1 feedback conversations, leading group calls, being vulnerable with others, etc. By the end of the day, we might feel drained without any spoons left if we aren’t intentional about finding pockets of time and ways to replenish them throughout the day.
Attending in-person experiences
I love going to listen to live music. In this season of life, as things open up in New York City, I’m prioritizing making more time to experience live music in a room full of strangers. The collective energy during a concert is so powerful.
Learning how to take care of ourselves is a lifelong practice. It’s a skill we continue to nurture, develop, and grow. What works for us in one season, might not in another. And, sometimes it takes trying things out a couple of times for us to say, this isn’t for me.
In his book The Power of Ritual, Casper ter Kuile writes, “Rest is a responsibility to the work I care about and the people who look to me for leadership.” We can’t pour from an empty cup. We must remember — so write this down on a sticky note — it’s our responsibility to rest and care for ourselves.
If you liked this article, check these out:
- How Voice Notes Have Changed My Work-Life
- An Insiders Perspective on the Best Places to Meet Other Community Leaders
- Or, if you’re on a solopreneur looking for more support, accountability and focus join Groove’s online coworking community to get sh*t done and have a good time while you’re at it ➡️ groove.ooo
