Feeling Marriage Envy When You’re Married
The grass seems so much greener.
“Is your marriage as shitty as mine?”
It’s a question I wish I could ask my friends.
When you’re dating, it’s easy to bemoan a boyfriend. He’s potentially temporary. Friends offer a sounding board, especially if marriage may be an option in the future. Your village of friends has only your best interests at heart. Their role isn’t to protect the emotions of their friends’ boyfriends.
The game changes after marriage. Opinions on your now-spouse are kept quiet as the relationship no longer has a “Temporary” tag attached. Friendships merge and now your friends have your husband’s best interest as well. As a couple, you face the world often as a single entity when socializing. This is evidenced by the constant, “where’s Joseph?” questions at the events I attended without him because he chose a job hours away.
That’s not a bad thing. We want our friends to like our spouses. In a state of “Forever”, you don’t want to cast your spouse in a bad light and have your friends share a negative view of him. Husbands aren’t easily replaceable like boyfriends.
There’s also respect for the privacy of your spouse. While I could tell my friends how a boyfriend got drunk and passed out, I wouldn’t be so ready to…
