The Gaslighter’s Dictionary: 15 Common Phrases
And what they truly mean.
There are many kinds of hell on earth.
One of them is to be unsure of your reality: to not trust your senses, your perception, your thoughts or feelings.
It’s a paralysis. How can you move with any autonomy if you’re not sure what is real and what is “just in your head”?
You can’t. And this is the point of gaslighting.
People who gaslight others want, fundamentally, one thing. Control. They might be calculated manipulators, they might think gaslighting is the only way to preserve (their idea of) a healthy relationship, they might not even know that they’re gaslighting you.
But, in every case, they are driven by fear and the desire to control.
Are you under someone else’s control? If you trust them more than your own eyes — then yes, you’ve surrendered your autonomy.
In close relationships, where all kinds of behaviors exist under the labels of “love” and “care”, it can be difficult to figure out if you’re dealing with miscommunication or emotional abuse.
But it’s possible.
There are several innocent-looking but insidious phrases that are a part of every gaslighter’s repertoire. If you’re hearing…
