Diddling around the edges of online dating
I folded myself into the cradle of my gray-blue recliner with my laptop resting on a pillow on my thighs. I developed a ritual. Open the curtains, open the shades, settle in with my hot cup of coffee, and begin scrolling.
For months after posting my dating profile, I picked through online profiles of potential companions without ever “liking” one. I felt a swell of anxiety every time I thought about taking the next step with any of these men. These were people with wants and needs…just like mine. Was I ready to consider a reciprocal relationship?
Letting go of my husband
I had spent the last 4 years caring for my husband as his disease progressed. I made sure that he was fed, bathed, and loved. Robert had been difficult to corral. An extremely social person, he was happiest when he was out in the neighborhood, greeting neighbors and making new acquaintances (or the same ones as yesterday, but new to him today).
For the most part, people were kind and understanding of his altered mental state, but some were not. Behavioral variant frontotemporal dementia (bvFTD) is typified by inappropriate social behavior and lack of judgment. Robert exhibited these traits in abundance. I could not keep up. Now he was living at Daylight Assisted Living and Memory Care, and his social interactions…
